Warning: Zombies Ahead

Guurrgh….uuurgh…brrraiiins…. sllluurp.

Translation: Angela is in Idaho, amassing a zombie horde for world domination vacationing with her family. Normal Thesaurus posts will be suspended until her return August 16th.

Lucky for you, she’s left a few of her favorite lieutenant zombies in charge, and our first official act is to announce a little contest. We think you’ll like it.

First Annual Zombie Haiku Contest

Oh yes–you read correctly. Sure, Zombies eat brains. But don’t we also have an inner soul, a burning desire to unleash pent up emotions in the form of, erm…poetry?

Let’s face it–Zombies? Poetry? Someone needed to go there. Angela is that person. The question is, are you up to the challenge? Can you get in touch of your inner Zombie and make Angela tear up or better yet, laugh out loud? We hope so, because you could win an in depth first chapter critique.

This is quite possibly the most awesome contest on the web. In fact, we wouldn’t be surprised at all if the talent rolling in is so gut-spittingly awesome that more than one critique will have to be awarded.

So for the Haiku challenged, the format is scary simple: 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. Like so:

Hungry moans outside
Fingers scrabble at the door
Time to get the axe

Look, the ice cream man
Only has one flavor left
What’s Head Cheese Surprise?

My silent boyfriend
We hold hands in the moonlight
Likes me for my brain

Is there a Zombie Epic inside you, longing to burst out? Set it free and post your haiku in your comment section! The contest will run until Angela returns, dead or alive. Followers can enter as many zombie haikus as they like.

For extra chances to win, post a link to this contest on your blog and let me know in the comments section where you spread the word. Each time you post a link to this contest you’ll earn an additional chance to win a bonus critique!

So, what are you waiting for? Let’s see some poetry, people!

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Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, an online library packed with powerful tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.
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38 Responses to Warning: Zombies Ahead


  2. Larissa says:

    Body parts falling off.
    How will I move without legs?
    Can I borrow yours?

    Dripping flesh is gross.
    Rotting skin. Maggots. Vomit.
    The stench is awful.

  3. Larissa says:

    Dreaming. Zombies eat.
    All my fingers are missing.
    Will this nightmare end?

    Gross zombies eat brains
    Why do they pass my brother?
    It sucks to be smart.

    Linking to my blog: http://www.lchardesty.blogspot.com
    Thanks! 🙂

  4. Kelly says:


    Please let me help you.
    Can I give you a hand? Oops.
    Still got my left one!

  5. Beth says:

    (I entered before, but took it down to submit it to a ‘zine. Sorry.)

    When Zombies sleep do
    They count brains instead of sheep?
    Midnight snack is… me?!?!

  6. SB says:

    Saw this on the Blue Board and couldn’t resist popping over to read. Here’s mine:

    The Undead Gastronome’s Lament

    Brains are nice, but in
    time they do get old. I ask,
    why not quiche tonight?

  7. Yunaleska says:

    Munch. Crunch. Tasty braiiinzzz.
    Buffet needed? Head to school.
    Enlarged brainzzzz abound.

    Azomb B


  8. Angela says:

    Seriously, I am overwhelmed at your Zombie awesomeness! How will I ever choose winners?

    These are all FANTABULOUS!!!

  9. Lori Degman says:

    It’s all-you-can-eat
    At the graveyard smorgasbord
    Just one more helping

    Thanks – this was fun!

  10. Dalbir says:

    His melting arm knocks.
    Her grave lifts and he groans, “Date?”
    She devours him.

    The last time I wrote a haiku was about three years ago. Lots of goodies on this site – I love it.

  11. Jacqui says:

    I love these!! Here’s mine:

    My Zombie House at Dinner Time

    What you want dinner?
    Dunno. What you want dinner?
    Delivery man!

    Hello? Pizza House?
    Send pizza. And pizza guy.
    Ding dong. Nom nom. Burp.

    That delicious, but
    me need little something sweet.
    Neighbors for dessert?

    And I’ll link to your contest Saturday over in Jacqui’s Room.

  12. Hazardgal says:

    Fridays were meant for fun and you have just been anointed with the Kreativ Blogger Award. If you are already a recipient, please pass this one to someone you know. My good friend Kelli Haywood passed this award my way. You are my choice because of the way you inspire me and color the online world. Read the rules on my blog… Enjoy the accolades!

  13. Beth says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Marian says:

    Cool, I’ve never tried writing a haiku before.

    Digs a shallow grave,
    All that’s buried must arise.
    In cold hands, house keys.

  15. Oh my! I’m not sure I’m up to thinking anything other than unpacking these last few boxes but it’s sure fun reading everyone else’s responses!

  16. Mary Witzl says:

    (I live with blondes, so I figure I can get away with combining a zombie haiku and a joke.)

    Sad zombie faces
    Bellies won’t be filled tonight
    In a house of blondes

  17. BeingMe says:

    What a topic but you’re never too old to try anything new..

    Wake, wake up you dead
    Walk this night, among headstones
    Task to scare away

    Wilting smelly skins
    Go seek out fresh flesh alive
    Suck away essence

  18. I’m going to have to come back to this after lunch, lol

  19. Thought I’d go with a multicultural Zombie. This was fun.

    Caribbean ghost
    sways to the Soca rhythms
    in the Jumbie Dance.

    I have linked your blog to mine.


  20. C.R. Evers says:

    LOL! :0)

    I’m too tired now
    for my own Zombie Hiaku.
    Will write one later.

    Oh snap! I crapped out a haiku! :0) I must be a natural.

  21. TaKat says:

    I dunno if this is allowed, but I’m creating a longer poem composed of individual haiku:

    Young girl in the dark
    Face hidden by too-long hair
    Skin just a tad pale

    Eyes following her
    A shadow slips from behind
    Tongue draws across lips

    Girl picks up her pace
    Man laughs and begins the chase
    They run in the dark

    Streetlights left behind
    Up the alleyway they go
    No one else around

    Suddenly she stops
    He hesitates and steps back…
    …He’s not the zombie

    Slash! Smash! Rip and Tear!
    Too bad he didn’t notice
    Maggots in her hair

    Writing away about my latest 3 week adventure through China at http://katacomb.blogspot.com

  22. Teri K says:

    On a non-related topic — How did you get the date slot to move above the post title? I’ve been asking for several days and no one seems to know. I’d like to know how you changed the color, too. Mine refuses to change.
    If you could drop me a quick note when you have time, I’ll let you have first go the next time the zombies show up in my closet. (That’s why it’s such a mess, you know. They hang out in there when they have nothing better to do.)
    Thanks very much.

  23. Teri K says:

    I don’t think I’m up to Zombies right now, but I may try one. I did put a link on my blog, and will mention it in today’s post. I have a daughter-in-law who is perfect for this. I heard about the contest from Putting Pen to Paper. Thanks for the fun idea.

  24. Blood all slurped and gone
    Our brains mushed and eyeballs popped
    Zombie dinner time

  25. Iapetus999 says:

    Into mounds of rotting phlegm
    He still devours braaaainnns.

  26. Iapetus999 says:

    Oh you Zombie Fiend
    With your disfunctional brain
    Will nothing stop you?

  27. I’m such a sucker! More zombie haiku spewing forth. I promise to stop after these.

    Along the old road
    Not a soul–only echoes
    Of shuffling footsteps

    Wrapping moist innards
    In bamboo leaves, she pauses
    To lick her fingers

  28. Jessica says:

    LOL! There’s no zombie haikus in me but have fun! 🙂

  29. MG Higgins says:

    Please, the scrabbling cease!
    Through my door you will not find
    A brain omelet.

  30. Too cool! I shall link such coolness (http://triciajobrien.blogspot.com)
    and throw two in.

    Dangling strips of skin
    Above gaping maws, they supped
    From surface to core.

    My darlings, my dears,
    Bring me back a nice spoonful
    Of brains for our tea.

  31. Cool contest Angela’s zombie lieutenant. What’s your real name, huh? I will post a link to this contest on my blog, but Haiku? *SHIVERS* I’ll leave that up to the zombie Haiku poets out there. 🙂

  32. Iapetus999 says:

    Salivating drones
    Dripping blood from their palates

  33. Mary Witzl says:

    Starlight on tombstones
    Deep beneath the frozen ground
    Lies my breakfast

    Smell of sweet decay
    Leaf mold rotting, stinking moss —
    Mornings are the best!

    Wish I could improve on your last one, but I just don’t think it’s possible.

  34. PJ Hoover says:

    Zombies are a pain
    They stink. They smell. They won’t die.
    Kick-ass weapons kill.

  35. Mary Witzl says:

    Oh man, I am so in!!

    Maggot flavored flesh
    Purple-bruised like hanging grapes
    Love my morning snack.

    I’ll be back with more asap — have to make a birthday cake…

  36. Iapetus999 says:

    Zombies in Moonlight
    Sucking brains on Scottish Moors
    Silent save slurping

  37. Yunaleska says:

    Cool comp! Merc will love this.

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