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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

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Helping writers become bestselling authors

Critiques 4 U

September 9, 2014 by BECCA PUGLISI

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Courtesy: Denise Krebs at CC

I don’t know about you all, but I love to critique. Maybe it’s being able to help others with their trouble spots. Possibly, it’s my mutant writing gene that makes the revision stage my most favoritest part of the process. Maybe it’s my inner four-year-old reveling in the knowledge that I’m not the only one who needs help. Whatever the motivation, I do love to critique, but because of all the stuff I’ve got going on, I don’t get to do a lot of it these days.

But there’s this old saying: necessity is the mother of invention. What does this mean? It means that I’m creating my own opportunity to critique. And you guys are the guinea pigs beneficiaries.

Every month or so, I’ll post a call for first pages. If you’re working on something (no erotica, please) that needs fresh eyes, leave a comment. I’ll randomly draw 3 commenters from the 24-hour period that follows and post the winners in the comment section. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll give you my feedback.

So when, as Disney likes to say, does the magic begin? Well, there’s this other saying: There’s no time like the present. What does this mean? I think that’s fairly obvious. Anyone who’d like a first-page critique, please leave a comment including your name, the working title of your WIP, its genre, and the intended audience. On Wednesday, I’ll announce the winners and we can let the games begin!

BECCA PUGLISI
BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Filed Under: Critiquing & Critiques, Uncategorized

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kinza Sheikh says

    September 22, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Hehehe…. Found this website in the right time 😀
    I am writing a fantasy, its working title is *drumroll please* “Asdhaa Chronicles”
    (Asdhaa is Persian word for dragons)
    My intended audience is YA, even teen will do.

  2. Julieta Wolff says

    September 20, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Thanks for this!
    title: The Devil’s smile
    genre: fantasy fiction
    audience: new adult

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      September 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      Hi, Julieta! I’m sorry, but this contest ended on Wednesday, September 10th. I’m going to be running one of these contests each month, though, so hopefully you can submit your first page another time.

  3. :Donna Marie says

    September 18, 2014 at 11:24 pm

    I won’t be participating, but am really looking forward to enjoying what comes! 😀

  4. Laura Gross Smith says

    September 12, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    I know the contest is closed, but next time you do this would you consider critiquing a blog? I always need constructive feedback, makes me a better writer. Thanks

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      September 13, 2014 at 7:12 am

      Hi, Laura! For now, I’m focusing on manuscript critiques, but if I want to switch things up down the road, a blog critique may be just the ticket. I’ll keep this in mind.

  5. lidy says

    September 12, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    I can’t believe I missed this. Next month I’m going to enter this contest for sure.

  6. BECCA PUGLISI says

    September 10, 2014 at 9:32 am

    Thanks for entering, everyone! The contest is now closed, and the winners are…

    1) Kelly Miller
    2) Karen Walters
    3) Terry Gene

    Yay! Congrats, you three! Please email me your double-spaced first page at becca.puglisi@yahoo.com :).

    Everyone else, thanks again for entering. I hope to do this on a regular basis (monthly, maybe?), so please try again next time.

  7. Shah Wharton' says

    September 10, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Hell yeh! I’m up for this 🙂

    Title: “Finding Luna”
    Genre: paranormal mystery / urban fantasy
    Audience: Adults / New Adults

    X

  8. Janet Smart says

    September 10, 2014 at 7:52 am

    I’d love to win a critique – if I’m not too late to enter. Thanks!
    Title: Duck and Cover
    Genre: historical middle grade
    audience: middle grade kids

  9. Auudrey says

    September 10, 2014 at 5:56 am

    Title: Love As It Seems
    Genre: Romance
    Audience: Adult

  10. Jacquie Biggar says

    September 10, 2014 at 1:22 am

    Would love this opportunity,
    Title: Jared
    Genre: Romantic Suspense
    Audience: Adult

  11. Addy Rae says

    September 10, 2014 at 1:12 am

    This is lovely of you! I’ll have a try. 🙂

    WIP: Working title just ‘Fear’. I don’t actually title until complete.
    Genre: YA Apocalyptic (NOT dystopian)
    Audience: Young Adults and Adults (since a lot of adult women read YA)

  12. Rachel S. says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    Title: THE MOSTLY UNWILLING SPY
    Genre: Action-adventure
    Intended Audience: Upper MG (6th-8th graders)

    Thank you so much!

  13. Melanie Marttila says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    What the hell, she says, putting on her big girl panties . . .

    Title: Initiate of Stone

    Genre Epic Fantasy

    Audience: Adult (protag is youthful but content is not)

  14. Virginia Pilegard - writing as Rebecca Abby says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Such a deal! I’m posting your contest on my FB page for writing friends.
    Title: “Dances with Butterflies”
    Genre: mystery/romance for inspirational market
    Audience: Adults

  15. Joan says

    September 9, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    WIP: Willow Lake (Working Title)
    Genre: Suspense
    Audience: Adult

  16. Terry Gene says

    September 9, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    WiP: Matryoschka Sarah
    Genre: SciFi Romance
    Audience: New Adult to Adult

  17. Amy Mills says

    September 9, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks, Becca, for your time! What an awesome thing to do!
    Title: The Cure
    Genre: Soft Sci-fi
    Audience: Young/new adults

  18. Janet Hartman says

    September 9, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    Title: American Gold
    Genre: Mainstream Historical (may end up Women’s Fiction)
    Audience: Adults, particularly those interested in their ancestors coming to the US in the early 20th century.

    Even if I’m not chosen, thank you for offering your time to us.

  19. Liz Masterson Searle says

    September 9, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    What a nice offer, Becca! Thanks!
    WIP: You’ll Forget Me When I’m Gone
    Genre: Magical Realism
    Audience: Adult

  20. Anastasia says

    September 9, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Hi Becca! How exciting (and frightening) haha.
    Here’s my deets:
    Title: Bloodlife
    Genre: supernatural/Sci-fi
    Audience: Adult

  21. henya says

    September 9, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    What a great offer!

    WIP: Stolen Truth
    Genre: Thriller
    Audience: Adult

  22. BECCA PUGLISI says

    September 9, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Holy cannolis. What a response! Can’t wait to dig into some of these first pages!

  23. Tamara Meyers says

    September 9, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Thank you for your generosity! Of course, I hope I’m one of the blessed few, but even if I’m not, I know how precious time is and really appreciate your offer –
    I’m terrible at titles, just calling it “Golden Dreams” (set in 1849 gold rush)
    Genre: Historical Fiction
    Audience: Adult

  24. Jennie Atkins says

    September 9, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    What a great idea!
    Work in Progress: Unconditional Love
    Genre: Inspirational Romance
    Audience: Women

  25. Barbara Rogers says

    September 9, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    Hello. Pick me, pretty please!

  26. Janet Evans says

    September 9, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    Thank you!
    WIP doesn’t have a title but I refer to it as the Pheala book.
    Genre – fantasy.
    Intended audience – YA

  27. Traci Kenworth says

    September 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Sounds like a plan!!

  28. Nicole Zoltack says

    September 9, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    What an awesome offer!

    WIP: Jessamine Rose, Monster Hunter
    Genre: Steampunk
    Audience: Late Teen to Adult

  29. E.Arroyo says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    The Animate – YA sci-fi / dystopian

    Thanks.

  30. Aften Brook Szymanski says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    Struggling with this very issue right now. I feel that my first pages are too wordy and I’ve lost the magic of character by over expounding. I really hope the character sounds her age and not eleven years old…

    Aften Brook Szymanski
    Title: Break Up Protocol
    Genre: Mystery *clean with humor
    Audience: college students

  31. Christina Hawthorne says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    What an exciting opportunity and how generous of you to make this offer. My sincere thanks.
    WIP: Where Light Devours
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: Late Teen to Adult

  32. Kristen says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    What fun!

    …and by that, I mean I have a (slightly) masochistic love of getting my word critiqued/shredded 🙂

    Name: Kristen
    Title: Scarlight
    Genre: YA Magical Realism

  33. Jeannie Hagy says

    September 9, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I really love the help you give to writers. Thanks so much! And I’m another of those strange people who love the revision process.

    My novel is a YA called Damaged Goods.

  34. Wendy Storer says

    September 9, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Thank you! This is a very generous offer. Would love for someone who doesn’t know me to give me asecond opinion. 🙂

    • Wendy Storer says

      September 9, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      Title – Still Breathing Air
      Genre – Contemporary realism
      Age – YA
      !

  35. Sherry Bessette says

    September 9, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Thank you! This is great.

    Name: Sherry Bessette
    Title: The Raven Wizard
    Genre: Fantasy
    Intended: Kids from 8 to 108

  36. Ben Stoddard says

    September 9, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    As if this website wasn’t good enough already, you just had to do something this generous.
    Name: Ben Stoddard
    Working title: The Great Unholy War
    Genre: Supernatural thriller
    Intended Audience: Adult (although it’s probably not too intense for teenagers)

  37. Marilyn says

    September 9, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Thank you for making this opportunity for all of us to learn and improve.
    Sydney’s Medallion
    Genre: Adult fiction/historical references
    Audience: Adult

  38. Stacey says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:44 am

    How fun!
    My working title is: The Replacement
    Genre: Magical Realism
    Audience: adults

  39. Heather Brady says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Thank you!

    crOAKED
    Adult Cozy Mystery

  40. Karla says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Sweeeeeeeeet!

    I’d totally appreciate eyes >:) heheh. – not in the creepy way of course, lol.
    Thank you!

  41. Becca Borawski says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Great opportunity! Thanks!

    Name: Becca Borawski Jenkins
    Working Title: South Central
    Genre: Drama
    Intended Audience: Adults

  42. Michelle Barker says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:59 am

    Thank you so much for doing this. I have been reading and benefiting from your site for some time now.

    My WIP is a fantasy novel for young adults called, Way. Intended audience: teens, though I’m hoping for a crossover with adult readers.

  43. Natasha Hanova says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:50 am

    Would love fresh eyes on Marked, a YA urban fantasy.

  44. Jill says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:41 am

    What a nice offer, Becca.
    Jill Weatherholt
    Working title: Par for the Course
    Genre: New Adult / Romance
    Intended audience: Adult

  45. Jarm Del Boccio says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:31 am

    This is so generous of you!

    I have a middle grade WIP:

    “THE ORPHANS WHO SAVED THE WORLD”

    Genre: Historical Fiction

    Jarm Del Boccio

  46. Sandy says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:23 am

    I am a new writer and need all the help I can get!! Thank you so much for doing this. It would be an amazing opportunity to have someone non biased to look at my work to let me know if I have what it takes. My WIP is women’s lit/ romance. As for a title I don’t have a clue. Hoping it will come to me by the time I finish.

  47. Linda Andersen says

    September 9, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Becca,
    What a terrific offer. Thanks!
    Work in Progress: Silhouettes Along the Concourse
    Genre: Memoir
    Audience: Adult

  48. Shari Brady says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:59 am

    I just read (and used) your Negative Trait Thesaurus and cannot thank you enough for all your books! And thanks for the opportunity to be critiqued. My name is Shari Brady, my WIP title is All the World’s a Stage, a young adult contemporary novel intended for anyone fourteen and up.

  49. Robin Olson says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:57 am

    You ladies are fabulous. What an incredible offer you are doing. Whether my name is selected or not, keep doing what you’re doing!!! Thanks!

    Robin Olson
    Working title: Abandoned
    Genre: Women’s Fiction
    Intended audience: adult women between the ages of 20-40, give or take.

  50. Amanda Buxton says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Wow!

    Amanda Buxton
    Title: Tessa Einstein and the Quest for Dumbness
    Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary
    Audience: 8 to 12 year old girls

  51. Robyn Campbell says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:40 am

    You are so cool. Not sure if I’ll take part. I just wanted you to know you’re so cool and very thoughtful. Paying it back. I’m going to do this too. (If I ever get published.) Hugs Becca.

  52. Leanne Ross says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:30 am

    I’m just in the process of revamping my first chapter so this would be amazing. Thanks for the chance.

    Leanne Ross

    • Leanne Ross says

      September 9, 2014 at 9:34 am

      I got carried away. Sorry for not completing the requirements as requested, but here goes:

      Leanne Ross
      Title- Slip Knot
      Genre- fantasy adventure
      Audience- YA

  53. Crystal Wells says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Ooo me!
    Contemporary romance
    Working title: A SEALs Sanctuary
    Thanks for the opportunity!
    Crystal Wells

  54. Karen Walters says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:15 am

    This is awesome! Thank you so much for doing this!

    Karen Walters
    Working title: Gone to Texas
    Genre: Historical fiction
    Intended audience: adults

  55. Evelyn Puerto says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:12 am

    I have such admiration for your work I’d be honored to get a critique! My adult fantasy WIP is tentatively called Fearing Courage.

  56. Alice Murray says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:09 am

    Working Title: Anna and Gracie
    Genre: Drama dealing w/ Mental Illness
    Audience: YA

  57. Sheryl Dunn says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:05 am

    Would love a critique…even though I edit the work of authors, I miss things in my own work that make me want to scream in the works of others.

    Keeping my fingers crossed.

    Sheryl

  58. Diana Beebe says

    September 9, 2014 at 9:00 am

    I have that crazy revision gene, too. I love the revision process!

    My newest WIP, code name HF, is a fantasy in the New Adult age group. I’d love to have a fresh pair of eyes look at the beginning. 🙂

  59. Marcy McKay says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:57 am

    What a FUN idea! Thank you!

    Marcy McKay
    WIP: Pennies from Burger Heaven
    Mainstream
    Intended Readers: 18 and above

  60. Joss L. Riley says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Such a cool opportunity, ladies. Thanks for all the help your offer.

  61. Heidi says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Hey, I’m always up for critique!

    Megan Ryder
    Granite Junction 1: Finding Home
    Genre: Contemporary Single Title
    Audience: adult women

    Can’t wait for the setting book!!!

  62. Roland Clarke says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Thanks so much for the offer Becca. Not sure if this applies to a short story collection but I have sidelined my Novel in Progress for a collection of shorts linked by an apocalypse.

    Title: Gossamer Flames
    Genre: Apocalypse/Post-apocalypse Sci-Fi
    Audience: Young Adult/Adult readers – but not just SF readers… also those concerned about green & social issues.
    Opening tale: Ghost Lights – a young abused Indian woman attempts to gather support against a mega solar energy project in North India. [Sets the apocalypse up]

    Many thanks

    Roland Clarke

  63. Grace Campbell says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:13 am

    Thanks so much for this opportunity!!!

    My name is Grace Campbell
    Working title: Devil’s Dagger
    Genre: fantasy
    Intended Audience: adults

  64. Sandy Quandt says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:07 am

    Hi Becca,

    Thanks for the opportunity for the first-page critique.

    I’ve written a middle-grade historical novel, “No Easy Choice”, I would love your feed-back on.

    Thanks again,

    Sandy Quandt

  65. Paula Cappa says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:07 am

    Interesting concept. I find as a writer, anchoring the first pages with character, tension, setting, and a hook to pull the reader in is not easy at all. I struggled with my openings all the time. And as a reader, I’m surprised at how many best selling books fail the test of well-structured first pages. I put down many books after 4 or 5 pages because the writing is dull or unclear and I just can’t get into it.

  66. Skipper Z says

    September 9, 2014 at 8:01 am

    My WIP is an SF novella, “Out of Mind”, intended for SF market.
    — skip

  67. Tonja Drecker says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:52 am

    To critique is the best part 😉 And heaven knows we seem to need a lot of it. Great that you’re doing this!

    My WIP: A Jar Full of Fireflies, Middle Grade Magical Realism (more contemporary with a tiny hint of magic)

  68. Renee Yancy says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:47 am

    I’d love a first page critique. My WIP is “The Dollar Princess.” It’s historical fiction for a predominantly Christian audience of women. Thank you.

  69. Diane Spigonardo says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Hello, I write Regency (Historical) romance and when someone critiques my work, I feel you can always learn something from both a positive or negative critiques. It helps you grow as a writer.

  70. Heather Raglin says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:34 am

    I’d love to win a critique! What a great idea. Thanks!
    Heather Raglin
    THE CARDINAL SIGN
    YA-Contemporary Fantasy

  71. Crystal Thieringer says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:25 am

    What a great opportunity. The novel I’m working on right now is a contemporary YA called Amara. Thanks!

  72. Kelly Miller says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:21 am

    My name is Kelly Miller and I would love a critique of the first pages of my third novel. Ive been trying to attract an agent but have had no luck, so another set of eyes would be greatly appreciated. My adult suspense novel is called “Waiting to Live.”

  73. Kathryn Daugherty says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:15 am

    I use your Negative, Positive and Emotion Thesaurus often to help build my characters. Thank you for your work. My WIP is titled “She Promised Her Heart” It is a woman’s contemporary, my name is Kathryn Daugherty

  74. Tom Threadgill says

    September 9, 2014 at 7:07 am

    I’m right there with you. I love doing critiques! That being said, I’d love you to take a look at my WIP, “Grinder”. It’s Christian fiction (suspense/thriller) intended for adults. Thanks Becca!

  75. RS McCoy says

    September 9, 2014 at 6:45 am

    My piece is The Peripheral Brother, a 3300 word SciFi short story!

  76. Jackie Layton says

    September 9, 2014 at 6:39 am

    I’d love a first page critique. The story I’d love for you to look at is Grace Lets Go.
    Thanks so much for the opportunity.

    joyfuljelatgmaildotcom

  77. Dee Chilton says

    September 9, 2014 at 6:37 am

    That’s a great opportunity. I’m watching from the wings. I have a novel to write one day, but for now I’m a screenwriter, so I doubt you’d be interested in reading that, although a first page is a first page, it still has to hook the reader in and compel them to want to read on more. Hope you and the chosen writers enjoy the process.

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