
I don’t know about you all, but I love to critique. Maybe it’s being able to help others with their trouble spots. Possibly, it’s my mutant writing gene that makes the revision stage my most favoritest part of the process. Maybe it’s my inner four-year-old reveling in the knowledge that I’m not the only one who needs help. Whatever the motivation, I do love to critique, but because of all the stuff I’ve got going on, I don’t get to do a lot of it these days.
But there’s this old saying: necessity is the mother of invention. What does this mean? It means that I’m creating my own opportunity to critique. And you guys are the guinea pigs beneficiaries.
Every month or so, I’ll post a call for first pages. If you’re working on something (no erotica, please) that needs fresh eyes, leave a comment. I’ll randomly draw 3 commenters from the 24-hour period that follows and post the winners in the comment section. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll give you my feedback.
So when, as Disney likes to say, does the magic begin? Well, there’s this other saying: There’s no time like the present. What does this mean? I think that’s fairly obvious. Anyone who’d like a first-page critique, please leave a comment including your name, the working title of your WIP, its genre, and the intended audience. On Wednesday, I’ll announce the winners and we can let the games begin!
Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.
Hehehe…. Found this website in the right time 😀
I am writing a fantasy, its working title is *drumroll please* “Asdhaa Chronicles”
(Asdhaa is Persian word for dragons)
My intended audience is YA, even teen will do.
Thanks for this!
title: The Devil’s smile
genre: fantasy fiction
audience: new adult
Hi, Julieta! I’m sorry, but this contest ended on Wednesday, September 10th. I’m going to be running one of these contests each month, though, so hopefully you can submit your first page another time.
I won’t be participating, but am really looking forward to enjoying what comes! 😀
I know the contest is closed, but next time you do this would you consider critiquing a blog? I always need constructive feedback, makes me a better writer. Thanks
Hi, Laura! For now, I’m focusing on manuscript critiques, but if I want to switch things up down the road, a blog critique may be just the ticket. I’ll keep this in mind.
I can’t believe I missed this. Next month I’m going to enter this contest for sure.
Thanks for entering, everyone! The contest is now closed, and the winners are…
1) Kelly Miller
2) Karen Walters
3) Terry Gene
Yay! Congrats, you three! Please email me your double-spaced first page at becca.puglisi@yahoo.com :).
Everyone else, thanks again for entering. I hope to do this on a regular basis (monthly, maybe?), so please try again next time.
Hell yeh! I’m up for this 🙂
Title: “Finding Luna”
Genre: paranormal mystery / urban fantasy
Audience: Adults / New Adults
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I’d love to win a critique – if I’m not too late to enter. Thanks!
Title: Duck and Cover
Genre: historical middle grade
audience: middle grade kids
Title: Love As It Seems
Genre: Romance
Audience: Adult
Would love this opportunity,
Title: Jared
Genre: Romantic Suspense
Audience: Adult
This is lovely of you! I’ll have a try. 🙂
WIP: Working title just ‘Fear’. I don’t actually title until complete.
Genre: YA Apocalyptic (NOT dystopian)
Audience: Young Adults and Adults (since a lot of adult women read YA)
Title: THE MOSTLY UNWILLING SPY
Genre: Action-adventure
Intended Audience: Upper MG (6th-8th graders)
Thank you so much!
What the hell, she says, putting on her big girl panties . . .
Title: Initiate of Stone
Genre Epic Fantasy
Audience: Adult (protag is youthful but content is not)
Such a deal! I’m posting your contest on my FB page for writing friends.
Title: “Dances with Butterflies”
Genre: mystery/romance for inspirational market
Audience: Adults
WIP: Willow Lake (Working Title)
Genre: Suspense
Audience: Adult
WiP: Matryoschka Sarah
Genre: SciFi Romance
Audience: New Adult to Adult
Thanks, Becca, for your time! What an awesome thing to do!
Title: The Cure
Genre: Soft Sci-fi
Audience: Young/new adults
Title: American Gold
Genre: Mainstream Historical (may end up Women’s Fiction)
Audience: Adults, particularly those interested in their ancestors coming to the US in the early 20th century.
Even if I’m not chosen, thank you for offering your time to us.
What a nice offer, Becca! Thanks!
WIP: You’ll Forget Me When I’m Gone
Genre: Magical Realism
Audience: Adult
Hi Becca! How exciting (and frightening) haha.
Here’s my deets:
Title: Bloodlife
Genre: supernatural/Sci-fi
Audience: Adult
What a great offer!
WIP: Stolen Truth
Genre: Thriller
Audience: Adult
Holy cannolis. What a response! Can’t wait to dig into some of these first pages!
Thank you for your generosity! Of course, I hope I’m one of the blessed few, but even if I’m not, I know how precious time is and really appreciate your offer –
I’m terrible at titles, just calling it “Golden Dreams” (set in 1849 gold rush)
Genre: Historical Fiction
Audience: Adult
What a great idea!
Work in Progress: Unconditional Love
Genre: Inspirational Romance
Audience: Women
Hello. Pick me, pretty please!
Thank you!
WIP doesn’t have a title but I refer to it as the Pheala book.
Genre – fantasy.
Intended audience – YA
Sounds like a plan!!
What an awesome offer!
WIP: Jessamine Rose, Monster Hunter
Genre: Steampunk
Audience: Late Teen to Adult
The Animate – YA sci-fi / dystopian
Thanks.
Struggling with this very issue right now. I feel that my first pages are too wordy and I’ve lost the magic of character by over expounding. I really hope the character sounds her age and not eleven years old…
Aften Brook Szymanski
Title: Break Up Protocol
Genre: Mystery *clean with humor
Audience: college students
What an exciting opportunity and how generous of you to make this offer. My sincere thanks.
WIP: Where Light Devours
Genre: Fantasy
Audience: Late Teen to Adult
What fun!
…and by that, I mean I have a (slightly) masochistic love of getting my word critiqued/shredded 🙂
Name: Kristen
Title: Scarlight
Genre: YA Magical Realism
I really love the help you give to writers. Thanks so much! And I’m another of those strange people who love the revision process.
My novel is a YA called Damaged Goods.
Thank you! This is a very generous offer. Would love for someone who doesn’t know me to give me asecond opinion. 🙂
Title – Still Breathing Air
Genre – Contemporary realism
Age – YA
!
Thank you! This is great.
Name: Sherry Bessette
Title: The Raven Wizard
Genre: Fantasy
Intended: Kids from 8 to 108
As if this website wasn’t good enough already, you just had to do something this generous.
Name: Ben Stoddard
Working title: The Great Unholy War
Genre: Supernatural thriller
Intended Audience: Adult (although it’s probably not too intense for teenagers)
Thank you for making this opportunity for all of us to learn and improve.
Sydney’s Medallion
Genre: Adult fiction/historical references
Audience: Adult
How fun!
My working title is: The Replacement
Genre: Magical Realism
Audience: adults
Thank you!
crOAKED
Adult Cozy Mystery
Sweeeeeeeeet!
I’d totally appreciate eyes >:) heheh. – not in the creepy way of course, lol.
Thank you!
Great opportunity! Thanks!
Name: Becca Borawski Jenkins
Working Title: South Central
Genre: Drama
Intended Audience: Adults
Thank you so much for doing this. I have been reading and benefiting from your site for some time now.
My WIP is a fantasy novel for young adults called, Way. Intended audience: teens, though I’m hoping for a crossover with adult readers.
Would love fresh eyes on Marked, a YA urban fantasy.
What a nice offer, Becca.
Jill Weatherholt
Working title: Par for the Course
Genre: New Adult / Romance
Intended audience: Adult
This is so generous of you!
I have a middle grade WIP:
“THE ORPHANS WHO SAVED THE WORLD”
Genre: Historical Fiction
Jarm Del Boccio
I am a new writer and need all the help I can get!! Thank you so much for doing this. It would be an amazing opportunity to have someone non biased to look at my work to let me know if I have what it takes. My WIP is women’s lit/ romance. As for a title I don’t have a clue. Hoping it will come to me by the time I finish.
Becca,
What a terrific offer. Thanks!
Work in Progress: Silhouettes Along the Concourse
Genre: Memoir
Audience: Adult
I just read (and used) your Negative Trait Thesaurus and cannot thank you enough for all your books! And thanks for the opportunity to be critiqued. My name is Shari Brady, my WIP title is All the World’s a Stage, a young adult contemporary novel intended for anyone fourteen and up.
You ladies are fabulous. What an incredible offer you are doing. Whether my name is selected or not, keep doing what you’re doing!!! Thanks!
Robin Olson
Working title: Abandoned
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Intended audience: adult women between the ages of 20-40, give or take.
Wow!
Amanda Buxton
Title: Tessa Einstein and the Quest for Dumbness
Genre: Middle Grade Contemporary
Audience: 8 to 12 year old girls
You are so cool. Not sure if I’ll take part. I just wanted you to know you’re so cool and very thoughtful. Paying it back. I’m going to do this too. (If I ever get published.) Hugs Becca.
I’m just in the process of revamping my first chapter so this would be amazing. Thanks for the chance.
Leanne Ross
I got carried away. Sorry for not completing the requirements as requested, but here goes:
Leanne Ross
Title- Slip Knot
Genre- fantasy adventure
Audience- YA
Ooo me!
Contemporary romance
Working title: A SEALs Sanctuary
Thanks for the opportunity!
Crystal Wells
This is awesome! Thank you so much for doing this!
Karen Walters
Working title: Gone to Texas
Genre: Historical fiction
Intended audience: adults
I have such admiration for your work I’d be honored to get a critique! My adult fantasy WIP is tentatively called Fearing Courage.
Working Title: Anna and Gracie
Genre: Drama dealing w/ Mental Illness
Audience: YA
Would love a critique…even though I edit the work of authors, I miss things in my own work that make me want to scream in the works of others.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
Sheryl
I have that crazy revision gene, too. I love the revision process!
My newest WIP, code name HF, is a fantasy in the New Adult age group. I’d love to have a fresh pair of eyes look at the beginning. 🙂
What a FUN idea! Thank you!
Marcy McKay
WIP: Pennies from Burger Heaven
Mainstream
Intended Readers: 18 and above
Such a cool opportunity, ladies. Thanks for all the help your offer.
Hey, I’m always up for critique!
Megan Ryder
Granite Junction 1: Finding Home
Genre: Contemporary Single Title
Audience: adult women
Can’t wait for the setting book!!!
Thanks so much for the offer Becca. Not sure if this applies to a short story collection but I have sidelined my Novel in Progress for a collection of shorts linked by an apocalypse.
Title: Gossamer Flames
Genre: Apocalypse/Post-apocalypse Sci-Fi
Audience: Young Adult/Adult readers – but not just SF readers… also those concerned about green & social issues.
Opening tale: Ghost Lights – a young abused Indian woman attempts to gather support against a mega solar energy project in North India. [Sets the apocalypse up]
Many thanks
Roland Clarke
Thanks so much for this opportunity!!!
My name is Grace Campbell
Working title: Devil’s Dagger
Genre: fantasy
Intended Audience: adults
Hi Becca,
Thanks for the opportunity for the first-page critique.
I’ve written a middle-grade historical novel, “No Easy Choice”, I would love your feed-back on.
Thanks again,
Sandy Quandt
Interesting concept. I find as a writer, anchoring the first pages with character, tension, setting, and a hook to pull the reader in is not easy at all. I struggled with my openings all the time. And as a reader, I’m surprised at how many best selling books fail the test of well-structured first pages. I put down many books after 4 or 5 pages because the writing is dull or unclear and I just can’t get into it.
My WIP is an SF novella, “Out of Mind”, intended for SF market.
— skip
To critique is the best part 😉 And heaven knows we seem to need a lot of it. Great that you’re doing this!
My WIP: A Jar Full of Fireflies, Middle Grade Magical Realism (more contemporary with a tiny hint of magic)
I’d love a first page critique. My WIP is “The Dollar Princess.” It’s historical fiction for a predominantly Christian audience of women. Thank you.
Hello, I write Regency (Historical) romance and when someone critiques my work, I feel you can always learn something from both a positive or negative critiques. It helps you grow as a writer.
I’d love to win a critique! What a great idea. Thanks!
Heather Raglin
THE CARDINAL SIGN
YA-Contemporary Fantasy
What a great opportunity. The novel I’m working on right now is a contemporary YA called Amara. Thanks!
My name is Kelly Miller and I would love a critique of the first pages of my third novel. Ive been trying to attract an agent but have had no luck, so another set of eyes would be greatly appreciated. My adult suspense novel is called “Waiting to Live.”
I use your Negative, Positive and Emotion Thesaurus often to help build my characters. Thank you for your work. My WIP is titled “She Promised Her Heart” It is a woman’s contemporary, my name is Kathryn Daugherty
I’m right there with you. I love doing critiques! That being said, I’d love you to take a look at my WIP, “Grinder”. It’s Christian fiction (suspense/thriller) intended for adults. Thanks Becca!
My piece is The Peripheral Brother, a 3300 word SciFi short story!
I’d love a first page critique. The story I’d love for you to look at is Grace Lets Go.
Thanks so much for the opportunity.
joyfuljelatgmaildotcom
That’s a great opportunity. I’m watching from the wings. I have a novel to write one day, but for now I’m a screenwriter, so I doubt you’d be interested in reading that, although a first page is a first page, it still has to hook the reader in and compel them to want to read on more. Hope you and the chosen writers enjoy the process.