Critiques 4 U, November Edition


I trust that everyone had a great Halloween—full of treats and short on tricks, preferably. It was tons of fun at my house this year. My son is obsessed with Darth Vader, so his costume was a no-brainer. After he declared his choice, my daughter decided to pair it up, and this interstellar awesomeness resulted:


I am your father. I mean, your brother. Wait a minute…

My 1980s cup overfloweth.

But Halloween is over, and man cannot live on cuteness alone. There are words to be chopped. Characters to be killed off. Entire plot lines to be reconsidered. That’s right: I has CRITIQUES 4 U! I’m opening submissions for this month’s contest today. For those of you who aren’t frantically NaNoWriMo’ing: if you’re working on something (no erotica, please) that needs fresh eyes, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address

2) the working title of your WIP

3) its genre

4) the intended audience


3 commenters’ names will be drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck! And may the force be with you…


Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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48 Responses to Critiques 4 U, November Edition

  1. LD Masterson says:

    I love your Star Wars kids. But I got here too late for the contest. Oh, well.

  2. Alrighty. The winners for this month are…

    Cheryl Matthynsssens
    Richard Neil
    Lynn Garrett

    Thanks for participating everyone, and for spreading the word to others. 🙂

  3. 1-alvaradofrazier at gmail dot com
    2-Strong Women Grow Here
    4-YA with Adult crossover potential

    Good luck everyone.

  4. Janet Smart says:

    Thanks, Becca. I love your little trick or treaters!
    Duck and Cover
    Middle Grade
    8-12 yr olds

  5. Vicki Kay says:


    Little Wolf

    Young Adult


  6. Adriana says:

    1) theoriginaladriana (at) gmail dot com

    2) The Perils of Penelope

    3) Upper Middle Grade Fantasy

    4) distinguishing 10-14 year olds with an affinity towards philosophy

  7. Pascal Inard says:

    1) inard (at)
    2) The memory snatcher
    3) Science Fiction
    4) Adult Science Fiction fans

    Thank you!

  8. Richard Neil says:

    Becoming the Wolf

    Thriller/Action Adventure

    Commercial Adult/New Adult

    Thank you for all the resources you have compiled for writers. They really come in handy for a cop who thinks he should write.

  9. Robbin Luckett says:

    1) Email address:
    2) Working Title: RELINQUISH
    3) YA Contemporary
    4) In an effort to solve an adoption mystery, the Protagonist must decide if she can keep a secret from her best friend in order to save the lives of the people she loves. (Theme: Adoption) (Intended audience: Teen)

  10. Lynn Garrett says:

  11. 1)
    2) Christmas Secrets
    3) Mainstream romance
    4) Teens to centenarians, mostly female.

  12. skipperZ says:

    1) aiarshai (at) gmail dot com

    2) Out of Mind

    3) Scifi

    4) Mainstream, so I guess adult

  13. Pamela Mason says:

    Thanks Becca!
    1. writermason (@) att . net
    2. Working title: That Summer We Baked
    3. Women’s Fiction, romantic elements
    4. Midlife women

    Middle Grade
    10-year-old boys

    Thank you!

  15. Jeanne Dykstra says:

    You have a darling interstellar pair. Thank you for a chance to be critiqued.

    1. E-mail:
    2. Title: Something is Looming at Shadow Hollow
    3. Genre: Middle Grade Fiction
    4. Intended Audience: 8 to 12-year-olds

  16. Jean Dykstra says:

    Your kids make a perfect interstellar pair! Thanks for my chance of a critique.

    1. My e-mail:
    2. Title: Something is Looming in Shadow Hollow
    3. Genre: Middle Grade Fiction
    4. Intended Audience: 8 to 12-year-olds

  17. Donna says:

    You are soooooo wonderful!

    1. dgweidner [at] gmail [dot] com
    2. LAURENT AND LAVINIA-A Match Made in Heaven
    3. picture book
    4. ages 4-6

  18. Phillip Ryan says:

    Such adorable children are destined to rule the galaxy.
    Thank you for this opportunity.

    Working Title: Tears of Boudicca
    Genre: Alternate-History Fantasy
    Audience: Adult Fantasy fans

    Working Title – The Bloodmine
    lovers of intelligent dragons, sword and sorcery and like to root for the underdog.

  20. Rhay Christou says:

    Wow what a generous offer! So my novel Crashing into Different is a contemporary YA intended for older young adults.

    Thanks so much for putting this out there for people.

  21. Thanks for the great opportunity 🙂
    Romantic Suspense
    Adult readers interested in HOT heroes and strong women!

  22. Judith Schiller says:

    Judi Schiller

    Working Title: At Home Behind The Sun

    Genre: Romantic Thriller

    Readers who enjoyed Tony Hillerman

  23. Thank you for the chance!

  24. Jill W says:

    Thanks for the opportunity, Becca.

    Working Title: Paid in Full
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Intended audience: women

  25. Lester Curtis says:

    1) your email address
    clmanges {at}

    2) the working title of your WIP
    Fly Away Home

    3) its genre
    Science fiction

    4) the intended audience
    Adult SF

  26. Your kids looked great! Thanks for doing this!
    The Orphans of Jadox
    Young Adult

  27. lidy says:

    email address:
    WIP Title: Nadia, the Hidden Fire Witch
    Genre: Young Adult Supernatural
    Intended Audience: teens age 12+ and fans of Supernatural, The Secret Circle, Witches of East End and/or Charmed.

  28. Janet Evans says:

    Working Title: Pheala’s Leaves
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: Young Adults

  29. Pingback: Links of Interest for Writers | Mindy Hardwick's Blog

  30. Scarlett Kol says:

    Thanks for the opportunity. Fresh eyes are sometimes had to find.

    2.) Mercury Rises
    3.) SF / Fairytale retell
    4.) YA

  31. Title:Mirage Rawnie’s Story
    Genre: Adult Fiction
    Target: Adults

  32. Sylvia Ike says:

    2) Working title- The Vengeful Ones
    3) Genre-New Adult
    4) target audience- 18+ interested in thrillers

  33. Heather Raglin says:
    YA Contemporary Fantasy

  34. Gail Kamer says:

    Journey of a Space Alien–realistic mixed with Sci fi intended for middle grades from 9 to 12.

  35. Doris Stone says:

    Thank Becca for sharing the cute photo of your children. They’re adorable.
    I’d like to enter your critiques 4 U contest. My email address is My WIP is “Planting Petunia’s with Papa.” It is a 400 word picture book that is written for 4-8 year old children. Thank you for this opportunity!

  36. Gwen Stephens says:
    Working Title: Dare to Dream
    Genre: YA
    Intended audience: older tweens and young teens
    Thank you for the opportunity!

  37. Becca,
    Love the photo.

    My work in progress: Peek-a-Boo-Friends (Picture book–ages 4-6)
    Linda Andersen–

    Thanks for offering this great treat even though Halloween and its cuteness has passed.

  38. Title: Mirage, Rawnie’s story
    Genre: Adult fiction
    Target: Women

  39. Woo hoo! Thanks, Becca!
    Christian suspense/thriller
    intended for adults

  40. Brett Jonas says:
    The Grimsai
    YA Fantasy

    Thank you!

  41. I’ll play 🙂 My email address is linked to the comment. I’ve just finished drafting a contemporary YA piece with the working title Amara. I wrote it specifically for 16 year old girls.

  42. Karen says:

    Working Title: Murder in Dripping Springs
    Genre: Mystery
    Audience: General readers of commercial fiction, readers who enjoy “cozy” mysteries

  43. 1) hapaxia[encirlced’a’]gmail[smallrounddot]com
    2) Working title: Electville
    3) SF & Fantasy
    4) Readers interested in dystopian SF.

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