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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

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Critiques 4 U, January Edition

January 27, 2015 by BECCA PUGLISI

snow-man-555323_1280
Pixabay

CONTEST IS CLOSED

Happy 2015, everyone! I hope you’re getting your January groove on, making goals or resolutions or whatever it is that gets you going in the New Year. I’m sure that some of you are wanting to rework that opening page or fine-tune those editing skillz. And if that’s the case, you’re in luck. ‘Cause it’s time for Critiques 4 U!

If you’re agonizing over that first page and you wouldn’t mind me chainsawing taking a gander at it, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address

2) the working title of your WIP

3) its genre (no erotica, please)

4) the intended audience

ONLY ENTRIES THAT FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED.

3 commenters’ names will be drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

BECCA PUGLISI
BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Crystal Wells says

    January 29, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Crystalwellsauthor@gmail.com
    Christmas with Hollywood
    Contemporary Romance
    Romance Readers

  2. BECCA PUGLISI says

    January 28, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Thanks for entering, everyone! The contest is now closed, and the winners are…

    Caerlynn Nash
    Joan Hall
    Tamara Meyers

    Thanks for entering. I’ll see you next month :).

    • Isabelle says

      January 28, 2015 at 1:13 pm

      Thank you for giving us the opportunity. =) Congratulations to the winners. Hope to see you in stores soon. =D

  3. Chrissie says

    January 28, 2015 at 9:32 am

    croach@gurwin.org
    I LIKE THEM DEAD
    Mystery/Romance
    Adult
    Thank You!

  4. Lidy says

    January 28, 2015 at 7:20 am

    Hope I’m not too late

    lidywilks@outlook.com
    Harbingers of El Tinor
    Sword and sorcery/low fantasy
    Young adult

  5. JC Martell says

    January 28, 2015 at 12:54 am

    I’m not trying to stuff the ballot box!! I forgot to tell you what a generous and SPECIAL opportunity this is.

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      January 28, 2015 at 9:49 am

      Lol. Thanks, JC! Best of luck 🙂

  6. JC Martell says

    January 28, 2015 at 12:51 am

    BEING NORMAL
    Women’s Fiction
    Women 40+

  7. Lesa says

    January 28, 2015 at 12:51 am

    Thanks for the kind offer! I’ve been fussing over this for quite a while now.

    FAIRY-TELLS (working title)
    sci-fi romantasy
    YA, and probably woman in general

  8. Donna says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    donnaweidner@gmail.com
    RETURN OF SNOWY OWL
    contemporary fiction
    Middle Grade

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! for the opportunity!

  9. Ellen Pridmore says

    January 27, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    Email: elpridmore@comcast.net
    Working Title: The Whispering Tale Of Vine Street
    Genre: Children’s Fiction
    Audience: Ages 4-7

    Thank you for this opportunity!

  10. Pascal Inard says

    January 27, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    Email: inard@internode.on.net
    Working Title: The Memory Snatcher
    Genre: Science fiction detective
    Audience: Adult

    Thank-you for such a wonderful opportunity!

  11. Inger says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    Email: inger@creatingthestory.com
    Working Title: The Kingdom Of Plants
    Genre: Kids Fantasy Fiction
    Audience: Middle Readers

    Thank-you for such a wonderful opportunity 🙂

  12. Joan Hall says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    Email: joan@joanhallwrites.com
    Working Title: Hidden Intentions
    Genre: Suspense
    Audience: Adult

  13. Tara Ashlyn says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    1) Email address: TaraAshlyn@yahoo.com
    2) Working Title: Fawn Hollow
    3) Genre: Romantic Suspense/ Thriller
    4) Intended Audience: New Adult

    Thank you so much for this opportunity. This is my first novel attempt..here is to dreams coming true! It is AWESOME that you guys are doing this!

  14. Cheryl Carter says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Email Address: CRCarter@iserv.net
    Working title of WIP: Infinity’s Discovery
    Genre: Fantasy
    Intended audience: Adult

  15. July L. says

    January 27, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    Is this over? Hopefully not yet.

    1) julylumantas@gmail.com
    2) Breath: The Lost Prestige
    3) Fantasy Romance
    4) Young Adult

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      January 27, 2015 at 6:33 pm

      Nope, you’re just in time. I’ll be choosing winners in the morning :).

  16. Jeannie Hagy says

    January 27, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Email: njhagy@yahoo.com
    Working Title: Damaged Goods
    Genre: YA Contemporary
    Audience: Teens

    Thank you!

  17. Barbara Johnson says

    January 27, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    email: johnsonbarbarar@yahoo.com

    Title: The Wife In Law

    Genre: Women’s Lit

    Audience: Women

    Thanks for this opportunity.

  18. Annie says

    January 27, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    email: valiera@yahoo.com
    working title: The Gladiator and the Guard
    genre: speculative fiction/action adventure
    audience: YA

    Thank you so much – for this and everything helpful you share with us!

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      January 27, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      It’s my pleasure, Annie. Good luck!

  19. T. Gemmell says

    January 27, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    Actually, I would love a critique.

    I call my project ‘My Uncle, His Basement, and the Disaster That Followed’. For the most part it is fantasy, but borders on steampunk. It is intended to be MG, hopefully for the male readers. If you are interested my contact is gemmell.t.r at gmail dot com.

  20. Katherine Cowley says

    January 27, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Email: cowley.k.e@gmail.com
    Title: Electric Alibi
    Genre: Steampunk/Science Fiction
    Audience: Adult

  21. Kimberly Bea says

    January 27, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    Email: beax0002@umn.edu
    Working title: Walking on Knives
    Genre:fantasy/fairy tale
    Audience: YA
    Thank you!

  22. Tamara Meyers says

    January 27, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    email ~ tameyers@frontiernet.net
    title ~ gold rush (I’m dreadful at titles, so it’s more identification than title)
    genre ~ historical fiction / romance
    audience ~ adult

  23. Susannah says

    January 27, 2015 at 3:02 pm

    Appreciate the opportunity!
    Email: baroquehorses1@aol.com
    Working Title: The Penumbrae Chronicles: Origin
    Genre: Fantasy
    Intended Audience: Fantasy with adult themes.

  24. Henry J. Kaye says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Email – HenryJamesKaye@gmail.com
    Working Title – Starting Over
    Genre – Contemporary Fiction
    Intended audience – Adult

  25. Aniko Rajci says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    1) Email: aniko.rajci@gmail.com
    2) Title: The Water Still Rules
    3) Genre: Fantasy
    4) Audience: YA

    Great opportunity, thank you!

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      January 27, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      You’re welcome. Good luck!

  26. Isabelle says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Email: icrusoe@live.se
    Working Title: Killer Queen
    Genre: Paranormal Romance
    Audience: New Adult

  27. Evelyn Puerto says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    My email: evelyninusa [at] hotmail [dot] com
    Working title: Raising Fear
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: Adult

    Thanks so much!

  28. H K F says

    January 27, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    1) aiar shai (at) gmail dot com
    2) Osha
    3) fantasy
    4) adult

  29. Carrie-Anne says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    E-mail: CarrieAnne79 (at) yahoo (dot) com

    Working Title: And Aleksey Lived

    Genre: Alternative history, historical fiction, saga

    Intended Audience: Adults, mature teenagers, Russophiles

  30. Francisca T. says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Email: faraway031@yahoo.com
    Working Title: Spark
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: New Adult

  31. Dyanne Conner says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Email: m.conner@sbcglobal.net
    Working Title: Sizzle and Burn
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Audience: Adult

  32. Mary Jo Caffrey says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    Thanks for this opportunity!

    Email: wufslam@cox..net

    Title: The Curious Case of Humpty Dumpty

    Genre: Fantasy

    Audience: Adult

  33. R. E. Hunter says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:03 pm

    Email: r.e.hunter2012[at]gmail[dot]com
    Title: Hydra
    Genre: Techno-thriller
    Intended audience: Adult

  34. Elizabeth Rash says

    January 27, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    1) your email address -lizrash@gmail.com
    2) the working title of your WIP -Grandma’s Prophecy
    3) its genre (no erotica, please) -Memoir Novel
    4) the intended audience- New Adult

    Thank you! I’m stuck and could most definitely use the feedback.

  35. Aften Brook Szymanski says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Email: af10ski@gmail.com
    WIP: Break Up Protocol
    Genre: Mystery/Thriller
    Audience: Clean enough for readers of any age, aimed at high school or college aged readers.

  36. Amber Troyer says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    Email: atroyer77 (@) gmail.com
    Working Title: Terrapin
    Genre: Sci-fi Thriller
    Target Audience: YA

    Thank you for the opportunity of winning a critique!

  37. AJ Lauer (@ayjaylauer) says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    It looks like my first comment didn’t go through.. sorry if this ends up duplicated

    email: frodofrogaj@yahoo.com
    Title: Ringer
    Genre: Science Fiction
    Audience: adult

    Thanks for the opportunity!

  38. Barbara Rogers says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Thanks for this opportunity!

    Email: brogers14@uco.edu
    Working Title: The Evolution of a Girl
    Genre: Woman’s Lit
    Audience: Women 18+

  39. AJ Lauer (@ayjaylauer) says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    email: frodofrogaj@yahoo.com
    Working Title: Ringer
    Genre: Science Fiction
    Intended Audience: adult

    I’d love you to take your chainsaw to it 🙂

  40. Loury Trader says

    January 27, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    Working Tittle: Immerse
    Genre: YA Dystopian
    Intended Audience: 13+
    Thank you.

  41. Heidi says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:52 am

    Email: HAULRICH5@GMAIL.COM
    Working Title: Something Old
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Intended Audience: women, 25-45

  42. Sue Coletta says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Title: MARRED
    Genre: psychological thriller/mystery
    Audience: Adult
    Email: suecoletta@crimewriterblog.com

    Thank you!

  43. Sherry says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Thank you!
    Email: sherrysoule AT att DOT net
    Working Title: IRRESISTIBLE MISTAKE
    Genre: New Adult Romantic Suspense
    Audience: 18 and up

  44. Feather Stone says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:33 am

    Thank you for this opportunity to receive a critique of perhaps the most important page of a novel.
    Email address: featherstone.author@gmail.com
    WIP: Forbidden
    Genre: Suspense / International Crime / Romance
    Audience: Adult men and women, Multicultural audience

    Feather Stone, Author

  45. Diane Coleman says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Working title: Mountains to Metropolis: The Elbow River Watershed
    Genre: non-fiction
    Audience: adult, high school, interested in environment

  46. Judith Schiller says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:10 am

    So wonderful of you to take the time to do this! And it’s fun also!

    schiller@emily.net

    Walks Like Rain

    Romantic Thriller

    Women

  47. Laura L. Weller says

    January 27, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Dear Ms Puglisi,

    My writing contact is lauralfw@verizon.net. “Wild Hope” is an in-process YA contemporary novel aimed primarily at female readers age fourteen and up, with male readers kept in mind.

    Best Regards,
    Laura L. Weller

  48. Caerlynn Nash says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Email: penntonic@gmail.com
    Title: The Rainbow Stone (Chapter 1)
    Genre: Historical Fiction
    Audience: 16+

    Great idea. Thanks for allowing me to participate. I have a full first draft of my novel, and I’m on my third re-write of Chapter 1.

  49. Cynthia Stacey says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:42 am

    Hey this is awesome of you. Thanks 🙂

    cynthia2729@live.ca
    Souls of the Chimera
    YA Paranormal

  50. Telfer Rose says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Thank you for such a great opportunity!
    Email – telferrose@gmail.com
    Wip – Blood of the Ancient – an altered existence
    Genre – sci-fi, fantasy, adventure
    Audience – 13+

  51. Anne K says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Title: I’ll do whatever it takes.

    Genre: Women’s short story

    Intended audience: Women.

  52. Chris Sarantopoulos says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:19 am

    email: mythos_20@yahoo.com
    Title: The Darkening
    Genre: Post-apocalyptic Horror
    Audience: adult

    Thank you!

  53. Nicole Zoltack says

    January 27, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Thank you for the chance!

    Nicole.Zoltack@gmail.com
    HIS SOUL PURPOSE
    Paranormal Romance
    Adult

  54. Janet Hartman says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:54 am

    That first page is so important! I’ve reworked and shuffled my early chapters multiple times and would love your comments on my current version. I’m feeling pretty comfortable with it but welcome any suggestions on improving the opening to what I hope will be my debut novel.

    Janet Hartman

    • Janet Hartman says

      January 27, 2015 at 9:58 am

      Title: American Gold
      Genre: Historical, possibly women’s fiction
      Audience: adult, especially those with family members who immigrated to the US in the early 20th century.

  55. Lizzie says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Email: wanderfulworldblog@gmail.com

    Working title: “The Way the Land Lies”

    Genre: Literary Fiction

    Intended audience: Adults

    Thank you! 🙂

  56. Leslie Bird Nuccio says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:39 am

    1. lnuccio@earthlink.net

    2. “Lyon’s Roar”

    3. Paranormal Romantic Suspense

    4. Adult, possible New Adult

  57. Sacha Black says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:34 am

    TItle: ‘Bound’ – The Guardians Saga #1
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: YA (17-24)

    • Sacha black says

      January 27, 2015 at 3:20 pm

      Oops! (Sachablack87@gmail.com)

  58. Paula says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:34 am

    HI Becca,
    I love Critiques 4 U! My working title is Greylock. The genre is supernatural mystery or what some might call ‘quiet horror’ meaning no conventional violence. The readers are horror readers but also those who enjoy dark fiction with supernatural elements. My email is in the required fields above.

  59. Pat says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:17 am

    I would love the chance to get some feedback on the all important opening of my current WIP…
    ‘Looking for Heaven’ is a YA novel in an apocalyptic setting.
    Thanks for the opportunity, meanwhile back to editing!

  60. Scarlett Kol says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:14 am

    What a great time for this to happen!

    1) scarletkol(at)outlook(dot)com
    2) Keeper of Shadows
    3) Paranormal Romance
    4) YA

  61. Sylvia Ike says

    January 27, 2015 at 9:08 am

    1. Chyny18@aol.com
    2. The Vengeful Ones
    3. New Adult
    4. audience age 18 and up

  62. Marianne Sciucco says

    January 27, 2015 at 8:44 am

    mariannesciucco@gmail.com
    Swim Season
    YA, sports, family
    Teens, young adults, swimmers and their families

  63. Sandy Kirby Quandt says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Becca, I have a WIP, “No Easy Choice”, historical fiction written for Middle Grade readers age 8-12. I’d love your thoughts on it. Thanks for the chance to win a first page critique.

  64. Linda Andersen says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Chainsaws welcome!
    landersen74@yahoo.com
    Peek-a-Boo-Friends
    Picture book (3-8)

  65. Alyssa says

    January 27, 2015 at 7:27 am

    Wow, thanks so much for the offer!

    Email: alyssa.carlier[at]gmail.com
    Working title: Winner Takes All
    Genre: literary thriller
    Intended audience: adult

  66. Jodi Carmichael says

    January 27, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Hi Angela,

    My current WIP is Ford and Ellie’s Mostly Solved Mysteries: Family of Spies. Yes, it is a working title. Likely to be shortened to Ford and Ellie: Family of Spies. It is a middle grade novel.

    It is taking me far longer than usual to get through the first draft as I am working two jobs, but as of February 22nd, I’ll be done to one and I want to dive right back into this one and get cracking!

    Any feedback, tips, etc, would be most awesome.

    Take care,

    Jodi

    PS Thank for doing this!

  67. Holly Kerr says

    January 27, 2015 at 6:48 am

    Hi! Sure, I’d love you to take a look. My WIP is called You, Me and Him (working title) and it’s a romance, intended for NA. My email is holly@kerr.ca
    Hope that’s all you need!

  68. David Wilson says

    January 27, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Email: David@davidkatie.co.uk

    Working Title: Aaron Gray and The Dragon War

    Genre: Children’s fantasy

    Intended Audience: 9-11

    Thank you 🙂

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