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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Critiques 4 U! March Edition

March 18, 2015 by BECCA PUGLISI

crocus-318293_1280
Pixabay

CONTEST CLOSED!

I hope that Spring is springing wherever you are. This winter has been a hard one for many, so I’ll refrain from complaining about how the air has been on in my house for two weeks now and our eight-month Summer has already begun. No one wants to hear that. Least of all me.

What you DO want to hear is that IT’S CRITIQUE TIME again! If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address

2) the working title of your WIP

3) its genre (no erotica, please)

4) the intended audience

ONLY ENTRIES THAT FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED.

3 commenters’ names will be drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

BECCA PUGLISI
BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. BECCA PUGLISI says

    March 20, 2015 at 8:26 am

    Alrighty, everyone. The winners for this month’s contest are:

    Chrissie,
    Yanicke Forfang, and
    Sunni

    Thanks for entering! I’ll see you in April :).

    • Isabelle says

      March 20, 2015 at 8:31 am

      and thank you for doing this. It’s so amazing. Congrats to the winners.
      🙂

      • BECCA PUGLISI says

        March 20, 2015 at 8:33 am

        It’s truly my pleasure. I love doing this :).

    • Sunni says

      March 20, 2015 at 9:04 am

      Thank you, Becca. I’m so excited I won! I look forward to your thoughts about my page.

  2. Kathryn Jankowski says

    March 19, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    So sorry you’ve had to deal with harsh weather. We’re sunny in California but desperately in need of rain.

    Email: author@kathrynjankowskibooks.com
    Title: Perun’s Wrath
    Genre: fantasy
    Audience: Young Adult

    Thanks for the opportunity. Best of luck to all!

  3. Melissa Sugar says

    March 19, 2015 at 9:29 am

    email: sugarlaw13@live.com
    Title: Bayou Justice
    Genre: Crime Fiction/Thriller
    Intended Audience: Adults

    Thank you for this wonderful opportunity!

  4. Yanicke Forfang says

    March 19, 2015 at 5:00 am

    Email: shundayah(at)gmail.com
    Title: A Nightmare’s Betrayal
    Genre: Portal Fantasy
    Audience: YA

  5. Dylan Jones says

    March 19, 2015 at 4:53 am

    Edit: Email: jones (dot) dylan19 (at) yahoo (dot) com

    Title: Fighting the Three Kingdoms

    Genre: Historical-Fiction

    Audience: YA

  6. Krista Quintana says

    March 19, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Super awesome opportunity! Thank you!

    1. krista.n.quintana@gmail.com
    2. The Orphans of Jadox
    3. Fantasy Romance
    4. YA

  7. Augustina Van Hoven says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    I’m delighted that it’s finally spring. It’s time to plant my garden.
    augustina@augustinavanhoven.com
    A Second Chance
    Time Travel
    Adult

  8. Ellen Pridmore says

    March 18, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    email: elpridmore@comcast.net

    Title: Range Rovers
    Genre: Fiction – Picture Book
    Audience: Ages 4-8

    Thank you for the opportunity!

  9. CR Carter says

    March 18, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    E-mail: crcarter@iserv.net
    Title: Infinity’s Discovery
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: Adult

    Thank you.

  10. Elizabeth Foster says

    March 18, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    email: e.foster3@bigpond.com
    Title: Esme’s Wish
    Genre: Light fantasy
    Audience: YA

  11. Anita says

    March 18, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Email: ae (dot) siraki (at) yahoo (dot) com
    Title: The Wolf’s Grave
    Genre: Urban Fantasy
    Audience: Adults

    Thanks for the opportunity!

  12. Alana says

    March 18, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    1) alana.j.mag@gmail.com
    2) (after)life lessons
    3) Fantasy
    4) Young adult

    Thank you!

  13. Vivian Towers says

    March 18, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Email: vtowersauthor@gmail.com
    Title: Shui Gui;A Water Ghost Novel
    Genre: Paranormal, Thriller
    Audience: Young Adult, New Adult

  14. R. E. Hunter says

    March 18, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Email: r (dot) e (dot) hunter2012 (at) gmail (dot) com
    Title: Hydra
    Genre: Techno-thriller
    Audience: Adult

  15. Brett Jonas says

    March 18, 2015 at 4:07 pm

    Email: Brettgjonas@gmail.com
    Title: The Grimsai
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: Young Adult

    Thank you for the opportunity!

  16. Debbie Erickson says

    March 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Thanks. 🙂

    “Secret of the Golden Heart”
    MG
    Fantasy/Adventure

  17. Mona AlvaradoFrazier says

    March 18, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    1-alvaradofrazier at gmail dot com
    2-Winter Without Flowers
    3-Women’s Contemporary but also has YA characters
    4-Adult women

  18. Tambrey Granneman says

    March 18, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    satan.sama@yahoo.com

    The Price of Betrayal

    Horror/Sci-Fi/Fantasy

    Adults

  19. Christine Read says

    March 18, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    email: readchris@shaw.ca
    title: The Trouble With Queenie
    genre: children’s contemporary fiction
    audience: middle grade

  20. Sam Taylor says

    March 18, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    1) sam (dot) wager160 (at) gmail (dot) com
    2) KEVARA
    3) Fantasy
    4) Young Adult

  21. Tambrey Granneman says

    March 18, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    satan.sama@yahoo.com

    Title: No Place Like Home

    Genre: Horror

    Audience: Adults

  22. Carol Baldwin says

    March 18, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    cbaldwin6@me.com
    Half-Truths, YOung Adult. African American and white teenage girls.

    I LOVE your blog!! Thanks for this opportunity.

  23. Sunni says

    March 18, 2015 at 1:24 pm

    Thank you for the opportunity.

    1. marykdesigns@comcast.net
    2. Memorable Hearts
    3. Contemporary Romance
    4. Adult

  24. Tambrey Granneman says

    March 18, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    email: satan.sama@yahoo.com

    Title: No Place Like Home

    Genre: Horror

    Indended Audience: Adults

  25. Heidi says

    March 18, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    email: haulrich5@gmail.com
    Title: Something Old
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Adult Women

  26. Penelope James says

    March 18, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    email address: spenelopej@aol.com
    Working title: Coronada
    Genre: Historical/Magical Realism
    Target audience: Women 35+
    Latino literature readers

  27. Cheryl Matthynssens says

    March 18, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    !) balanceguide@gmail.com
    2) Pseudo-Dragon
    3) High Fantasy
    4) Adult

  28. Patchi says

    March 18, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    1) email address: mymiddleyears at gmail com
    2) title: Shrouded Goddess
    3) genre: fantasy
    4) audience: young adult

    Thanks for doing this again!

  29. Linda Strawn says

    March 18, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    My email: lindastrawn@yahoo.com
    Title: Liberty’s Tears
    Genre: Christian Fiction
    Audience: Adults, older teens

  30. Lottie says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:50 am

    1 – lottie_067@hotmail.co.uk

    2 – The Good In Evil

    3 – Fantasy/Sci~fi

    4 – 15+

  31. Sherry Kesling says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:47 am

    1.) skesling@cox.net
    2.) Life Derailed
    3.) Memoir
    4.) Caregivers, Personal Crisis, Rehab patients that have had brain surgery or brain infection, Dealing with emotional constraints with doctors and nurses.

  32. Irene K. says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Thanks so much for doing this. It’s so nice of you and I can use the help.

    bocairene@comcast.net
    Abraham’s Daughter
    Historical, women’s
    Adult

  33. Angela D'Onofrio says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:43 am

    Email: aviario.ct at gmail dot com
    Title: From the Desk of Buster Heywood
    Genre: Fiction (Contemporary Drama)
    Audience: Fans of character-driven dramatic series, a little too mature for YA.

  34. Lisanne Cooper says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:32 am

    Would love to get your feedback!

    Email: gaelic_wordsmith@yahoo.com
    Title: Moon Watch
    Genre: YA Paranormal Mystery
    Target Audience: Young Adult and New Adult

  35. Curtis Manges says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:30 am

    Thanks for the chance at a free critique.
    1) clmanges@yahoo.com
    2) Trade Route
    3) Science fiction
    4) adult

    Thanks again.

  36. FCS says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:27 am

    1) eisen5585(at)yahoo(dot)com
    2) Strange Days
    3) Speculative Fiction
    4) Young adults (ages 12-18)

  37. Sheri Fredricks says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:13 am

    Email: sherifredricks @ sherifredricks .com
    Title: Monica (working title)
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Audience: Women 18+

  38. Jarm Del Boccio says

    March 18, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Email: jarm@me.com
    Title: The Orphans Who Saved the World
    Genre: Historical Fiction
    Audience: Middle Grade

  39. Irene Wittig says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:56 am

    1.irenewittig@gmail.com
    2. Coming to Terms
    3. historical fiction
    4. adults

  40. Erica says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:54 am

    1) erica (dot) editing (at) yahoo (dot) com

    2) SNAKE OF EDEN

    3) Contemporary

    4) Young Adult

  41. Anastasia says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Title: Bloodlife
    Genre: soft sci-fi/horror
    Intended audience: Adult

  42. Nicole says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:33 am

    1) nrbrighton@gmail.com
    2) Emerson Hills
    3) Contemporary YA paranormal/horror
    4) Older teens and adults

  43. Kristen Johnson says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:22 am

    1. Kristengjohnson at Gmail dot com
    2. Squirrel Power
    3. Children’s chapter book, speculative
    4. Boys ages 7-10

    Thanks!

  44. sarah beth says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:21 am

    mailto:sarah.beth@syzygy.org
    title: Matryoschka Sarah
    Genre: SciFi Romance (but the HEA takes three novels, HFN in first two)
    Adult, but I’ve been told NA would be more responsive.

    note: You may have already done this for me. If you want to pass, just let me know.

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      March 18, 2015 at 2:16 pm

      Hi, Sarah. Yes, I have critiqued this one before, so if you have a different first page, please feel free to enter that one instead :).

  45. Halli Gomez says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Thanks!
    Email: hbgwriter6@gmail.com
    Title: Riley Cooper Inventor Extraordinaire
    Genre: Middle Grade
    Audience: 9 -12 year old

  46. Chrissie says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:03 am

    croach@gurwin.org
    Title: We Like Them Dead
    Genre: Mystery
    Adult Fiction

  47. HL Gibson says

    March 18, 2015 at 10:02 am

    hl_gibson@outlook.com
    The Secrets of Dr. John Welles
    Literary Fiction
    Men & women who enjoy general or historical fiction

  48. Sylvia Ike says

    March 18, 2015 at 9:22 am

    1. therenaissance08@gmail.com
    2.The Vengeful Ones
    3. Thriller
    4. New Adult-18 and up

  49. Scarlett Kol says

    March 18, 2015 at 9:21 am

    Love Critiques 4 U time!!!

    1.) scarlettkol(at)outlook(dot)com
    2.) MERCURY RISES
    3.) Speculative Fiction
    4.) YA

  50. Rajni says

    March 18, 2015 at 9:11 am

    Hi Becca,

    I’m working on a short story that needs some polishing, only I can’t look at it objectively anymore. I would appreciate your feedback.
    The working title is “A New Day.”
    The Genre is “Romance”
    The intended audience: Adults

    Thank you,
    Rajni
    email: rajni_g_2001@yahoo.com

  51. H K F says

    March 18, 2015 at 9:08 am

    1) aiar shai a t gmail dot com
    2) Out of Mind
    3) SF
    4) general SF market (so adults I guess)

  52. Amanda Ungleich says

    March 18, 2015 at 8:40 am

    How awesome! Crits have helped me so much with my work!
    My WIP is titled “Marks”, it is a YA fantasy novel for readers aged 15-19.

  53. Paul Taylor says

    March 18, 2015 at 7:54 am

    Title: Shadowland
    Genre: Horror
    Intended Audience: Fans of Stephen King books such as Salems Lot, Insomnia.

  54. Barbara Johnson says

    March 18, 2015 at 6:52 am

    email: johnsonbarbarar@yahoo.com

    working title: The Wife in Law

    genre: I’ve been told it’s ‘not your typical romance’

    intended audience: women, southern women maybe

  55. Isabelle says

    March 18, 2015 at 6:27 am

    Email: icrusoe@live.se
    Titel: Killer Queen
    Genre: paranormal romance
    YA/NA

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