Critiques 4 U, April Edition




Can you believe that it’s April already? Seems like we were just setting resolutions, breaking resolutions, and racing out for last-minute Valentine’s Day presents. Time surely does fly, because here we are at the tail end of April, giving away 3 more first page critiques.

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address

2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)

3) the intended audience


Psssst! Last month, one of the winners didn’t leave an email address and I had to pick an alternate. Please don’t forget all the important info :).

3 commenters’ names will be drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

photo credit: Pixabay


Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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58 Responses to Critiques 4 U, April Edition

  1. Pingback: Remember it’s your writing, be true to yourself | jean's writing

  2. And this month’s winners are…

    Carol Baldwin
    Heidi U

    Thanks for entering, and for spreading the word about the contest. See you all in May!

  3. Isabelle says:

    Just a Quick question. What rules are there for a page? I’m guessing a Word page, but what about double spaced, font and font size?

    Thank you again for doing this. ❤️

  4. Dylan Jones says:


    2. Historical-Fiction

    3. YA 18+

  5. Giving it a try ’cause openings kick my writerly butt.

    1. melanie (dot) marttila (at) gmail (dot) com
    2. Epic fantasy
    3. Readers who enjoy Julie Czerneda’s A Turn of Light or the Celtic-inspired novels of Juliet Marillier

  6. Gretchen Stone says:

    2) Women’s Contemporary Fiction
    3) Adult

    I am using the Emotion Thesaurus, as well as the Positive and Negative Trait books as I am doing my edits. They add a layer on every page.

  7. henya says:

    2. Action/Thriller
    3. Adult

  8. margaretsmn at
    Middle grade realistic fiction
    ages 8-12

  9. Thank your for the opportunity.

    2) paranormal romance
    3) adult

  10. Heidi U says:

    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Audience: adult women

  11. Pascal Inard says:

    Sorry forgot my email address, so I’ll try again:
    2. Science Fiction
    3. Adult


  12. Pascal Inard says:

    1. The Memory Snatcher
    2. Science Fiction
    3. Adult

    Thanks a lot Becca!

  13. 1)
    2) humorous contemporary middle grade
    3) 7-11

  14. Self-publishing my debut novel through my company. Excited to catch this, hoping my entry makes it out of the hat:

    1/ Aline.laforge [At] gmail[dot] com
    2/ YA / adult
    3/ Oceania folktale

  15. Sharon says:

    I love that you guys walk the walk as writers helping other writers. (Now if I could get lucky and win this critique).
    2. YA romance
    3 14 to 18 year old girls

  16. Linda Strawn says:

    Can’t pass this up.

    1) lindastrawn at

    2) Inspirational Fiction

    3) Mature teens and older

  17. Hi, what a great opportunity to have a chance for a professional critique from a SCBWI instructor.

    Here’s my info:

    1) alvaradofrazier at
    2) YA / Adult
    3) Ages 16 and up

  18. Talia says:

    Thanks for this opportunity!

    Genre: Sci-fi
    Audience: Kids ages 6-15 or so

  19. Leia Ann says:

    2) Urban Fantasy, magical realism (no romance)
    3) Adults

  20. R. E. Hunter says:

    1. r (dot) e (dot) hunter (at) gmail (dot) com
    2. Technothriller
    3. Adults

  21. Holly Kerr says:

    thanks for the opportunity!!!
    1)your email address –
    2) your story’s genre – chicklit/spy thriller
    3) the intended audience – adult

  22. 1)
    2) general fiction
    3) adults/women

  23. 1)
    2) historical fiction
    3) adults/new adults

    I use your Emotion Thesaurus all the time and suggest it to other writers. Obviously it’s a big help.

  24. JC Martell says:

    Thank you for this opportunity -along with all the many other valuable resources you provide writers.

    EMAIL: jcmartellgm at gmail dot com
    GENRE: Women’s Fiction
    AUDIENCE: Adult

  25. Halli Gomez says:

    Thank you so much for this offer. I have my fingers crossed!

    Here is my information:
    2. middle grade – sci-fi
    3. kids 9-12 years old

  26. Carolee says:

    Yay for spring and for crits! 🙂

    YA (fantasy)
    YA fans of all ages!

  27. Caroline Sciriha says:

    Thanks for this opportunity. I would also like to thank you for this website: I’ve found loads of help here and in the thesaurus collections.

    My email is csciriha[at]go dot net dot mt
    Genre: Fantasy / SF
    Audience: middle grade

  28. This is a fantastic idea. 🙂 I’m getting ready to query soon, too, so perfect timing!

    1. themagicviolinist(AT)gmail(DOT)com
    2. YA contemporary romance
    3. Teens, 13-18

  29. Pat says:

    Thank you for this opportunity, again, and for your advice in general.
    My email is in the required field. My WIP is called Looking for Heaven and it is a post-apocalyptic story for young/new adults.

  30. Curtis Manges says:

    Count me in, Becca!

    1) your email address:
    2) your story’s genre: Science fiction
    3) the intended audience: adult


  31. Ellen Pridmore says:

    2. picture book
    3. ages 4-7

    Thank you!

  32. Thanks for this!

    2. Historical Fiction
    3. Middle Grade

    Take care . . .Jarm

  33. Southpaw HR Sinclair says:

    It surely is spring, though winter is hanging on for its dear life here. Daffodils and tulips have sprouted. It’s too bad their days are numbered.

    I have an urban fantasy for adults with the awesome title: WIP. My email is in the required field, does that work?

  34. Kristen G. Johnson says:

    Hello! Thanks for the chance to win 🙂
    1. kristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com
    2. Children’s chapter books
    3. Boys 7-11


  35. Irene Wittig says:

    Thank you for this opportunity.
    My email is
    Genre: literary/historical fiction (Austria 20th cent.)
    audience: adults

  36. FCS says:

    1) Email address: eisen5585 at yahoo dot com
    2) Story’s genre: Speculative Fiction
    3) Intended audience: Young adults

  37. Scarlett Kol says:

    2) paranormal romance
    3) YA

    Thank you!

  38. Isabelle says:

    2) Fantasy
    3) Ya/Na

  39. My e-mail address is mhawke1962@gmail. com. My genre for this book is cozy mystery. The intended audience is general, though, particularly for those who enjoy mysteries without intense sex or violence.

    Thank you for any consideration you can give me!

    historical fiction
    young adult


  41. Sylvia Ike says:

    Good morning!
    My email address is
    Story genre-young adult
    targeted audience 18+
    Thank you!

  42. Telfer Rose says:
    Title – Blood of the Ancient
    Genre – action/adventure, fantasy, scifi
    Audience – YA – Adult
    Many thanks Becca 🙂

  43. Becca and Angela,

    Thanks for the recent win of a first page critique. I won’t enter this time because I would like someone else to have that opportunity. I did want to share that I recently returned from a Highlight’s PB workshop and I am once again reworking the story you critiqued. It’s still not PB ready, but I am determined to whip it in shape. I think I have a much stronger manuscript forming in my head. Thanks for helping me along my journey.

    Thanks for all you do for other writers!

    • It’s truly my pleasure, Linda. I’m glad that you enjoyed the Highlights workshop. I’m leading a workshop this weekend, and I’m super excited to meet new writers and share our experiences. We learn so much that way. Best of luck with your story!

  44. JoAnn says:

    Entering the chance to win a critique of the first page:
    women’s fiction
    women (and men who like to think about complex problems)

  45. Alyssa says:

    Yay, thanks so much for this! (And for all the other fabulous posts, of course :D)

    Email: alyssa.carlier[at]
    Genre: Fantasy
    Audience: YA

  46. Carole Lindstrom says:

    1) carlindza at gmail dot com

    2) contemporary YA

    3) 13-17

    Thank you. 🙂

  47. Diana says:

    2) romance
    3) adults/young adults

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