Critiques 4 U!


Kidlets enjoying the beach


People, I am SO EXCITED! My son finishes pre-school this week, which means I’ll only have to drive back-and-forth to one school everyday instead of two, like I’ve been doing all year long. My daughter will be done next week, and then….SUMMER VACATION! This equates to a little less work getting done each day, but it also means more sleep and trips to the beach and NOT DRIVING AROUND ALL DAY! Can’t wait!

I’m sure some of you are cursing me right now, since snow is probably still falling and you’re having to shoo penguins out of your yard. To make it up to you, how about some first page critiques?

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address

2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)

3) the intended audience


Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!


Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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79 Responses to Critiques 4 U!

  1. And the winners for this month are…
    Curtis Manges
    Irene Kessler and
    Brett Jonas

    Thanks so much for entering, everyone. I’ll see you next month!

  2. Best of luck to all who entered!

  3. The contest is now closed. Thanks for entering. I’ll see you next month!

  4. Thank you. I’ll try again.
    Adult women (sequel)

  5. Email:
    Genre: Historical Fiction
    Audience: Adult/Action/Suspense

  6. Dylan Jones says:

    Genre: Historical Fiction
    Audience: YA.

  7. Molly Martin says:

    Genre: Sci-Fi
    Audience: Adults who enjoyed Michael Crichton


  8. Talia says:

    Thank you for this awesome opportunity!

    My email is in the required field. Does that count?
    Genre – science fiction
    Intended audience – kids/YA

  9. Adora says:

    Question: Becca, did you mean for us to include our email address in the comment or just in the “Email*” space? I don’t mind sharing it with you, but I don’t really want to share it with the whole, wide world if I don’t have to in order to enter the contest. Thanks!

  10. Pascal Inard says:

    2) Science-Fiction
    3) Adults

  11. Dawn Malone says:

    Oops, forgot my e-mail!
    dawnemalone (at) gmail (dot) com.
    Young adult, contemporary
    Age 12 & up

    Thanks for the opportunity!

  12. Dawn Malone says:

    Young adult, contemporary
    Age 12 & up

    Thanks for the opportunity!

  13. I’d love, love, love a 1st page critique. Thanks for the chance.
    1. maureencberry [at]
    2. Crime Thriller
    3. Adult

  14. Sue Coletta says:

    Genre: Thriller
    Target Audience: Adult
    This is very generous of you. Thank you, Angela!

  15. Tara Ashlyn says:

    Here’s hoping I’m lucky this time!
    Genre: Suspense/Thriller
    Audience: Mature YA/ Adult

  16. R. E. Hunter says:

    Email: r dot e dot hunter2012 at gmail dot com
    Genre: Technothriller
    Audience: Adult

  17. Jenna Trapani says:

    What a great opportunity! And I can’t WAIT for more sleep and trips to the beach. Only a week and a half left!
    YA/Paranormal (NOT paranormal romance)
    18-30, probably mostly women.

  18. Carleen M. Tjader says:

    Thank you.
    picture book
    ages 4-8

  19. Diana Lynn says:

    Wonderful. It’s nice having writers helping writers 🙂

    1) your email address —–
    2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please) —— women’s fiction
    3) the intended audience —– women 30ish and up – empty nesters to be!

  20. Hope Schmidt says:

    This is the first time I’ve visited this site, but I love it! Thanks for all the writer helps!

    Email: Hope.Schmidt at
    Genre: Allegorical Fantasy
    Audience: Teen/Young Adult

  21. Janet Smart says:

    Hi, thanks so much for this offer.
    Middle Grade
    4th – 8th grade (main character is a boy)

  22. Brett Jonas (@BookSquirt) says:

    Thank you so much!

    Brettgjonas at gmail
    Young Adults

  23. Kristin says:

    Wow! What an awesome opportunity! (I’ll be getting more sleep and less done, too, now that summer break is only weeks away for the kiddos! hee hee!)

    Genre: fantasy
    Audience: middle reader

  24. Hi,
    Thank you for offering to do this!
    Romantic Suspense
    Romance readers and hopefully pull in some suspense readers as well.

    Tambra Nicole

  25. Sandy says:

    Have my fingers crossed.
    Thanks for doing this.

    Genre . Women fiction
    Audience Women and girls of all ages.

  26. H K F says:

    1) aiarshai at gmail dot com
    2) Osha
    3) fantasy, general adult audiences

  27. JC Martell says:

    Fingers, toes, arms, legs, and eyes crossed! Thanks so much for the opportunity – and for the latest article on emotional wounds. Yea for summer and grandchildren visits for me!

    EMAIL: jcmartellgm at gmail dot com
    GENRE: Women’s Fiction (or Romance)
    AUDIENCE: Women 30+

  28. Pat says:

    It’s hailing outside right now. Not jealous nope.

  29. Pat says:

    Thanks for another chance at this!

    My story is YA post apocalyptic/dystopian.

  30. Doree says:

    Tossing my hat, but nothing romantic here 🙂
    email =
    genre = middle grade 8-14
    Audience = young boys mostly

  31. Sheila Good says:

    What a wonderful opportunity for us emerging writers. I’m in nearly 40,000 words on my first novel, Hello Hell. The genre: Women’s Fiction. Intended audience: Women.

  32. Ellen Pridmore says:


    Genre: Picture Book/ Fiction

    Audience: 4-7

  33. Thank you again for doing this so often!
    Email: msfeistus (at)
    Genre: Mystery/suspense
    Audience: Adult (not quite YA)

  34. Barbara Bischof says:

    Wow looks like just a few have responded but why not! We recognize a special gift, thank you!
    cozy mystery

  35. Shanna Rogers says:

    Thanks for the opportunity, Becca!

    Genre: Contemporary
    Audience: Middle Grade

  36. Caroline says:

    Lucky you. There’s still two months of schooling for us…
    Would love to win.
    email is csciriha@go (dot) net
    genre – fantasy
    audience – upper middle grade

  37. Erin K says:

    How cool! Thank you for doing this giveaway. 🙂
    My Email: erin.b.krueger[at]
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Audience: Adult, women

  38. Dan Todd says:

    Genre: mystery adventure
    Audience: Upper middle grade

    Thanks for giving back to the writing community, Becca!

  39. Sarah says:

    Email: sarah[at]
    Genre: Mystery/Suspense
    Audience: New Adult/Adult

  40. Edith Lalonde says:

    Congrats on making it through another year of packing school lunches! They take more imagination than writing the next best seller!

    Genre: Romantic Suspense
    Audience: Adult

  41. Elesha says:

    Congrats on your son finishing preschool. I was so happy when I didn’t have to do the 2 school drop off in the morning too. Now I have time to hit the gym or run errands before work.

    Thanks for this opportunity. Good luck to all who enter.


    Genre: Urban fantasy

    Audience : adult

  42. Curtis Manges says:

    Count me in!

    1) your email address:
    2) your story’s genre: Science fiction
    3) the intended audience: adult

  43. Angela Brown says:

    I’m dealing with some issues so not entering anything but gladly tweeted about it 🙂

  44. Sharon Marie Lightsey says:

    Genre: Inspirational Suspense

    Intended audience: Predominately middle-aged evangelical women who enjoy suspense with a thread of romance.

    Sorry. Didn’t list my e-mail address before.

  45. Sharon says:

    I remember those taxi service days. Glad your are being freed up.
    2. YA Fantasy
    3. Ages 12-17

  46. I wish I had something in the works.

    Would you consider a first page crit on something in the revision stage?

    If so, here’s the requested info.


    2. Mystery/cozy

    3. Women 45 to 65 or older (my elderly aunts are my ideal readers)

  47. No snow here. I’m in California!


    2) historical fiction

    3) new adult/adult

  48. Ambiguous_A says:

    A critique would be wonderful!

  49. Sacha Black says:

    Hi I would love a shot at this, what a wonderful opportunity:


    Genre is Fantasy/Dystopian

    Audience is Young/New Adult

  50. Irene Kessler says:

    Hi Becca,
    First – thanks so much for your presentation in Boca last week. It was amazing and so helpful.
    Second –
    Historical Novel
    I got fingers and toes crossed. Thanks for the opportunity.

  51. mindy says:

    This is a great idea for a giveaway! Okay, would love feedback. So, my novel is
    1- mainstream literary
    2- audience; women
    3- e-mail Lifewerkz AT comcast. net

  52. Sarah says:


    Genre: Science Fiction

    Audience: Young Adult

  53. Sarah says:

    I thought I’d give this a shot, so I’m commenting and sharing your link with my writers group. Fingers crossed. — Sarah

  54. Greg Renz says:

    First page feedback on my mainstream novel intended for adult readers.

  55. This would be so helpful!
    My RIP is a YA fantasy.

  56. mshatch says:

    Ooh, I’d love a first page crit!

    2. Apocalyptical
    3. YA

  57. Dawn Allen says:
    Paranormal fantasy
    Young Adult

  58. Adora says:

    My story is in the urban fantasy genre (not erotica). The intended audience is adult female.

  59. Mary Jo Caffrey says:

    Glorious summer vacation soon! So happy for all the moms and their driving sacrifices for their kids! Your happiness is probably a lot like your children’s, anticipating a school break and whole summer to enjoy.

    Best wishes to all the moms and their drivers.

  60. Isabelle says:



    Thank you so much. 🙂

  61. Alyssa says:

    Thank you for holding this giveaway! It’s a fantastic thing you’re doing for authors 🙂

    Email: alyssa.carlier[at]
    Genre: fantasy
    Audience: YA

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