Critiques 4 U, July Edition



Happy Summer, everyone! I hope you’re enjoying the sunshine and warm weather as much as I am. I’d like to see more of it, but I’m in the process of editing all of our thesaurus content to make it neat and tidy for our One Stop For Writers™ launch this fall.  do love to edit, but too much of it makes me crabby, so it’s time to take a little break and do some critiquing!

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address. Some of you have expressed concern about making your email address public; if you’re sure that the email address associated with your WordPress account is correct, you don’t have to include it here. But if you do win and I’m unable to contact you through that email address, I’ll have to choose an alternate winner.

2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)

3) the intended audience


Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

*photo credit: Pixabay


Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Critiques 4 U, July Edition

  1. Pingback: Markets For Writers | esthernewtonblog

  2. Pingback: Once Upon a time… | Letting Go

  3. Darn, missed it. Congrats to those who got in.

  4. And the winners are….

    Sacha Black
    Shanna Rodgers
    Cathy Smallwood

    I’ll be in touch, ladies. And thanks, everyone, for entering. I’ll see you next month!

  5. I’m confused: it says Contest Closed, but I see entries…so…

  6. Dylan Jones says:


    Young Adult

  7. Iris says:


    * Contemporary Romance (Echoes of the past)

    * 18+


  8. Leila says:

    leilarheaume at gmail dot com
    Genre: Contemporary Romance
    Audience: NA

    Thanks again, Becca!

  9. Shannon Price says:


    2.) Fantasy

    3.) YA, 13+

    Thank you!

  10. K. M. Updike says:

    The Life and Death of Terry Dodd

    Historical and literary fiction

    Young Adult – 13-18+

    Thanks so much for this opportunity!

  11. Susan in TX says:

    Contemporary romance . . . first love, second chance . . . then (23 years ago) and now
    For women, mid 30’s and older

  12. Ariadne says:

    The title of my WIP: Enamored With You.
    Targeted audience: Anyone 15+ who loves historical romance written from first person pov (from the MMC’s point of view) and in present tense.

    Thank you for the offer, :):):)

  13. Ariadne says:

    The title of my WIP: Enamored With You.
    The targeted audience: Any 15+ audience who loves intense historical romance with word count of 96k.

    It’s my second attempt at writing a novel and is written in the MMC’s point of view and in present tense. Thank you for doing this, 🙂

  14. R K Brainerd says:

    The genre of my novel is a mix between alternate history and urban fantasy, with the intended audience ranging from mature YA (or NA) to adult.

    Thank you!

  15. Diana Lynn says:

    1) your email address. It’s listed correctly above.

    2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please) Women’s Fiction

    3) the intended audience – women 35+ ■ Empty nesters or soon to be.

    Thank you. And I want to mention that I love the thesaurus books.

  16. Sheila Good says:

    My first novel, in progress:
    Genre: Women’s fiction
    Audience: Adult women 18+
    Working Title: Hello Hell
    I love your site and use your books nearly every time I sit down to write. Thank you for providing excellent references.,

  17. Ambiguous_A says:

    Genre: Thriller

    Audience: NA. But maybe YA and maybe adult, too. My protag is 19.

    Thanks for offering this!

  18. Thanks for this opportunity, Becca. Here’s my scoop:
    Inspirational contemporary romantic suspense “Summer of Deception”
    Women aged 30-70

  19. Address is up-to-date

    Historical Fiction



  20. JC Martell says:

    Thanks again for the opportunity to “access your wisdom”…. Can’t wait for “One Stop for Writers”

    EMAIL: jcmartellgm at gmail dot com
    GENRE: Women’s Fiction (or Romance)
    AUDIENCE: Women 30+

  21. Louise Jones says:

    Historical romance / drama
    Thank you for the opportunity

  22. R. E. Hunter says:

    1. Yes, my email is correct in WordPress 8^)

    2. Technothriller

    3. Adult

  23. Deborah Baran says:

    Historical Fiction based on a true story
    Title: In The Shadow of Willow Run
    Audience: History (WWII) buffs
    My story focuses on two protagonists, both Rosie the Riveters, and how they got through WWII on the home front. One survives while the other does not.


    International Crime, Suspense, Romance


    Thank you

  25. cathysmallwood at hotmail dot com

    Psychotherapy fiction: 1st person POV, alternating client and therapist. Ethical and relationship issues.

    age: 18 and up.

  26. Sharon says:
    YA Fantasy Adventure – Futuristic with Earth setting
    Ages 12-16, boys and girls

  27. Talia says:

    Thank you for giving these awesome opportunities every month!

    My email is in the required field.
    My story’s genre: Sci-fi
    Intended audience: YA

  28. Shanna Rogers says:

    Middle grade contemporary

    Thanks for the opportunity!

  29. H K F says:

    1) email definitely correct ^^

    2) science fiction

    3) adult/general audience

  30. YA action and adventure. Could be considered fantasy because it takes place in another world, but the world is very similar to our own (the main difference being that slavery is legal there).

    audience: preteens, teens, adults

    Thank you very much! I hope I get picked! 🙂

  31. Tara Ashlyn says:

    Genre: Suspense
    Audience: Mature YA and up- lovers of dark suspens with a hint of romance.

  32. Southpaw HR Sinclair says:

    This is very kind of you to offer this so frequently.

    1. on account
    2. urban fantasy
    3. adult mainstream

    Supernatural Mystery, “In The Cards”
    New Adult

  34. Sacha black says:

    Hi thanks again for running this every month ?

    Fantasy / dystopian


  35. Sylvia Ike says:

    2. New Adult Thriller
    3. 18+

  36. Cathy Nrockman says:

    First Bite is m/f sweetness spicy urban fantacy with a touch of romance
    My market is for mid twenties up , men and women on budgets with hobbies that like some fun a little action,and a simple escape

  37. Laura Selinsky says:

    Young Adult; Contemporary Fantasy; Your choice- the one with the *male protagonist or the one with the female protagonist.
    *Yeah, I know this one has more marketability because boys prefer male protagonists, but I love my girl Rose.

  38. CC Riley says:

    Email address listed above.
    Women’s fiction with a hint of magic
    My intended audience would be mostly women from the new adult age to a little older.

  39. S. J. Dunn says:

    Literary thriller (the goal, the dream? A la Gone Girl !)

    Working title: A MILLION CLOSED EYES

    sjdunncuba at yahoo dot com

    audience: mainstream and thriller audiences

    I’m using an unusual technique so would love feedback on my first page. (no murders, no villains, no swear words, no sex, no prologue … First Person POV the main character… 1st chapter is the Inciting Incident, but not the Call to Action.)

  40. Isabelle says:



    Thank you. ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.