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Critiques 4 U, September Edition

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CONTEST CLOSED!

Hello, friends! Guess what? I’m all moved from Florida to New York. We’re in a rental house for now while our house is being finished, so there are still boxes everywhere and half our stuff is in the garage. But I’m so excited to be here. It’s September, and the weather is beautiful; my kids are actually playing outside without having to be bribed with popsicles. The deer like to wander across our yard to eat the apples that are falling off the tree across the street. SIGH. So happy!

IMG_1172The move itself was crazy, and since my kids got out of school in May and didn’t start up here until last week, it was the longest summer of all of our lives. So I hope you’ll understand why I didn’t run the critique contest last month :). But everything’s good now, and I’m ready to get back to the fun stuff. Because it’s been awhile, let me just restate the rules…

If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address. Some of you have expressed concern about making your email address public; if you’re sure that the email address associated with your WordPress account is correct, you don’t have to include it here. But if you do win and I’m unable to contact you through that email address, I’ll have to choose an alternate winner.

2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)

3) the intended audience

~ONLY ENTRIES THAT FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED~ 

Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!

And just a reminder that we’re less than a month away from the One Stop for Writers release. If you’d like more information about this research tool that includes all of our thesaurus content (plus more awesome stuff) in one convenient place, sign up for our newsletter!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  6. Southpaw HR Sinclair says

    How fun to watch the deer eat apples!

    1. WP account
    2. Urban Fantasy
    3. For Grown-ups! 🙂

  8. Rick B says

    Becca,

    Having lived in NY, I know that you’ll love the seasons in NY (especially Fall, which you’re about to have, and Spring … Winter, however, may be a shock to your system!).

    And I’ve had deer in my yard when we lived in Colorado … they are SO much fun to watch!! But be careful, too … deer love to eat flowers right off the stems!

    Here’s the info for my shot at the critique …

    1. Email: rbarnes7557@gmail.com
    2. Genre: mystery / suspense
    3. Audience: adults mostly, but could also be late teens (16+)

    And make sure you don’t hurt your back from lifting all those boxes!!

  21. Sophia Sasson says

    First, I cannot wait for the new one stop for writers. I’ve been inhaling the emotional wounds posts and am a die hard fan of your thesauri.

    I write contemporary romance and romantic thrillers and my email is Sophia(at)sophiasasson.com

  23. Paula Brierley says

    1. pnbarizona@msn.com
    2. Cozy mystery
    3. Women

    I live in Arizona and understand the Popsicle Bribe. I wouldn’t move from the desert but a few days of ocean and autumn colors would be nice. Hmm, maybe that will be part of my novel . . .

  26. Halli Gomez says

    1. hbgwriter6@gmail.com
    2. Contemporary
    3. Middle grade

    Thank you for doing this. I am going to start querying and would love to know if my first page will hook an agent.

    Congrats on the move! I was born in NY and moved to Florida. As an adult, I craved the change of seasons as well and moved to NC. There is nothing like fall where the leaves actually change color!

  28. Irene says

    bocairene@comcast.net
    Historical Fiction
    New Adult – Adult.

    Though now in FL., I’m a born New Yorker. You will love it. Don’t know where you are but each part of the state has its own charm. Enjoy. Thanks for your previous critique. You were kind enough to not tell me I had my story backwards. I now have a new beginning.

  32. Linda Andersen says

    Congratulations on your move and a new home to be completed soon. I thought the trend was usually to move from NY to Florida. 😉

    I won a free critique from you earlier; so I’ll pass this time. I am still working that same picture book idea. It’s much better though thanks to great critiques, including yours. Thanks again!