Critiques 4 U!

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People! I’ve been in New York for a year and a half now, and next week I’m headed back to Florida for the first time since we moved. I’m so excited to see family again, to go to the beach, and Disney (The most magical place on Earth!), and other venues where shorts will make an appearance. And of course there will be ample opportunity for reading, so it’s the perfect time for our February



If you’re working on a first page and would like some objective feedback, please leave a comment that includes: 

1) your email address. Some of you have expressed concern about making your email address public; if you’re sure that the email address associated with your WordPress account is correct, you don’t have to include it here. But if you do win and I’m unable to contact you through that email address, I’ll have to choose an alternate winner.

2) your story’s genre (no erotica, please)

Also, please be sure your first page is ready to go so I can critique it before next month’s contest rolls around. If it needs some work and you won’t be able to get it to me right away, I’d like to ask that you plan on entering the next contest, once any necessary tweaking has been taken care of. 🙂


Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback. Best of luck!


Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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18 Responses to Critiques 4 U!

  1. Thanks so much for entering, everyone! This month’s winners are…

    Isabelle Crusoe
    JC Martell
    David Pelletier

    You all rock. Keep up the good work, and I’ll see you next month.

  2. David Pelletier says:
    Genre: murder mystery

  3. Angie Howard says:

    Thank you for this opportunity!

    YA fantasy

  4. Dylan says:

    jones . dylan 19@

    Urban Fantasy

  5. Rita Jordan says:

    Adult paranormal romance

  6. G.A. Rosenthal says:

    YA supernatural mystery

  7. Mary Kate says:

    Awesome! Would love some feedback on my second YA contemporary!

  8. Talia says:

    1) email – included.

    2) genre – fantasy.

    Thanks for doing these critiques every month! Maybe I’ll actually win this time. 🙂

  9. I’d love a chance for feedback.

    Genre: psychological suspense

  10. Sandra says:

    Hi, would love the chance to get your feedback!


    Genre: Time Travel/Romance

  11. Roxanne Lambie says:

    I’ll be wishing on a star tonight. WHW is such a treasure! Thanks for all you do.

    YA Speculative

  12. JC Martell says:

    GENRE: Contemporary Romance with a touch of paranormal
    EMAIL: jcmartellgm/ at / gmail
    Disney World! How lucky for you. I’ve always wanted to take my grandchildren there and go to expo. Have fun!

    • We used to live two hours from there and were at Disney every few months. We’re all having withdrawals and can’t wait to get back :). If you get the chance to take the family, definitely jump on it. There’s nothing quite like it.

  13. Hi Becca. Sounds like a great contest. Enjoy your time in Florida. I was there this past weekend and it was wonderful. Too short a trip and back to the NY snow in 48 hours. But it soothed the soul. My first page is from Christmas at Blue Hydrangeas, a novella prequel to my novel Blue Hydrangeas, an Alzheimer’s love story. Contemporary fiction. CR4U.

  14. Peter Martin says:

    Hope I’m lucky enough to get a bit of feedback. Thanks

  15. Peter Martin says:

    Here’s the first page of my WIP which is a Time Travel/Historical Fiction story
    Monday, 6th March. 2006 – Yorkshire, England.

    Mark Bishop, chest tight, his sight, blurred by unshed tears, set the red ceramic urn on the limestone mantelpiece. The ashes of his cousin David would rest here, in his study, keeping company with those of his parents’ and his sister’s.
    He leaned, both hands on the mantelpiece and closed his eyes. The full weight of loneliness pressing down on him.
    Here he was, thirty-two years old and the last of his relations—gone.

    He’d only seen his cousin a few weeks ago when they were planning David’s wedding. A week later the ‘phone call came from David’s fiancée saying he’d died driving to work. A car skidded on black ice and hit him head-on. This raised memories of the last time he’d seen his parents and his younger sister before a drunk driver ended their lives. Stephanie, just turned sixteen the week before, excited to be going to a formal company dinner and dance with her parents.

    He didn’t have time to wallow in his misery, his farm manager was waiting for him. Bill Marsh was great at his job, but not a patient man. He’d been away for a week attending the funeral and sorting out his cousin’s affairs. It was time to get back to day-to-day operations.
    Mark took two deep breaths, opened the office door and walked past his large mahogany desk to where Bill was waiting. The sweet smell of burning apple wood in the fireplace eased some of his grief.
    He slumped in to the armchair opposite Bill. “Any news on that new tax advisor?”
    Bill had worked for Mark since he’d bought Keldthorpe Farm almost four years ago and was one of the few people he called a friend. His weather-worn features, a legacy of a lifetime of outdoor work, were testament to his farming experience.
    “She’ll be ‘ere next week,” the gruff Yorkshire man said. “Supposed to have a farming background.”
    “Aye. A Miss Grainger, from out Richmond way. Jim Bradley sez she’s one of ‘is agency’s top advisors.”

  16. Isabelle Crusoe says:

    I envy the nice change in weather. =) It’s freezing over here in Sweden.
    And thank you for keeping these critiques going.


    Genre: Paranormal Romance

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