When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.
Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.
NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.
While women bear both the emotional and physical strains of a miscarriage or stillbirth, men can suffer just as much emotionally from this kind of loss. Depending on a number of factors, this tragedy could be a wounding event for either parent.
Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:
- I’m being punished for something.
- It’s my fault; I did something wrong during my pregnancy.
- There must be a reason I’m not supposed to have kids (I would be a bad parent, I wouldn’t be able to handle being a parent)…
Positive Attributes That May Result: appreciative, disciplined, empathetic, industrious, inspirational, nurturing, pensive, persistent, private, protective, sensible…
Negative Traits That May Result: addictive, controlling, cynical, defensive, humorless, inhibited, irrational, irresponsible, jealous, martyr, morbid, needy, nervous…
- Fear that it will happen again
- Fear of losing one’s other children, too
- Fear that one would make a bad parent…
Possible Habits That May Emerge:
- Mentally tracking the “would be” milestones (she would be one month old today, she would be starting kindergarten this year)
- Possessive behaviors towards one’s living children
- Becoming more health-conscious
- Blaming oneself or one’s partner
- Obsessively searching for a reason why it happened…
TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here. For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.
Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters and keeping them from being whole and fulfilled?
Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.
To help with this, we have integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers.
Each entry has been enhanced and expanded to provide even more helpful information about your character’s wounds and is cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. We’ve also included a must-see tutorial on this topic—a crash-course on how a wound impacts the affected character and the role wounds play in his or her arc over the course of a story. Interested in seeing a sampling of our completed wound thesaurus entries? Head on over and register for free!
If you’re waiting for the Emotional Wounds book, Angela and I are hoping to have that ready for Fall 2017. Sign up here to be notified as its release date approaches.