The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: How False Beliefs, Fears, and Human Needs Are Connected

Just like real people, our characters have a plethora of past experiences that play a part in molding who they become. While these experiences, good and bad, affect their personalities, it is often the harrowing ones that have the most impact.

car-accident-337764_1280An emotional wound is a negative event from the character’s past that causes a hurt deep enough to change who he or she is. It might be a single experience (discovering a spouse’s infidelity), a longer term situation (being so poor one often went to bed hungry), or a series of small cuts that leave scars (a parent who withheld affection whenever one’s performance and grades were less than perfect). Whatever the wound, the result is an all-consuming fear that if the character does not protect himself, this situation (and resulting emotional pain) will happen again.

This intense fear causes flaws to bloom, flaws that act as emotional shields to keep people and situations at arms length, preventing a past hurt from reoccurring. Behaviors, habits, attitudes, and even beliefs may alter. The character who was cheated on will struggle with trust, and may become promiscuous to avoid meaningful relationships that could put his heart at risk. The character raised in poverty may become stingy with money and resources to avoid any possibility of having to go without. A character taught that affection is tied to success may become an overachieving workaholic out of a need to please others. The most important aspect of these flaws is that while they appear to “protect” or “help” the character, they actually do the opposite, damaging relationships and preventing the self-growth needed to move past these fears.

Wounds will help shape our characters. Who someone is at the start of a story is due, in part, to any wounds from his past. As authors, it’s important to identify a character’s unique wounds to better understand what kind of person he is, how he’s likely to react in a given situation, and why.

By exploring EMOTIONAL WOUNDS as the topic for our next thesaurus, we can examine different wounding events and offer ideas on how they could change a character, helping you plot how a wound will impact your character’s personality and steer his motivations.

Wounds are messy, and their effects can be complicated. To break it all down, here’s a brief tutorial on the elements that will be covered in each entry of this thesaurus and how they’re inter-related.

1024px-Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svgBasic Needs: According to famed psychologist Abraham Maslow, people are driven by 5 basic needs that we all need in order to be fulfilled. If a need isn’t being met, we will deliberately or subconsciously set out to meet that need. Often, a wounding event will steal away one of these needs—i.e., safety being sabotaged when someone is mugged. Even after the event is over, that lack of safety haunts the victim and can affect his or her behavior as she tries to reclaim her feeling of security. Thus, it’s important to identify which needs will be compromised from a given wound so the character’s resulting actions will make sense.

False Beliefs: There’s something in human nature that makes us internalize bad things that happen, even when it wasn’t our fault. In the aftermath of a wounding event, a character will often blame himself and come to believe a lie that begins to erode his self-esteem. For instance, someone who is bullied may start to believe that there’s something intrinsically wrong with him, and this is why he’s picked on. This lie, like any belief, will affect the character’s behaviors, mannerisms, decisions, and beliefs. It’s a highly motivating factor in influencing who a character becomes in the aftermath of a wounding event and so must be identified. For more information on lies and their relationship with basic human needs, check out the Needs and Lies appendix in The Negative Trait Thesaurus.

Character Traits: Because a character will be highly driven to avoid repeating both the wounding event and the negative feelings that are associated with it, he will often adopt new attributes and flaws that weren’t a part of his personality in the past. For instance, a character who was abandoned by a parent might become distrustful of others, rebellious, or withdrawn. On the positive side, he may be fiercely loyal to those who meet his need for love and acceptance; he might also develop and express deep empathy for others who have suffered from abandonment. There are many ways a character might respond to a wound, giving you much freedom in creating a character who is believable and makes sense to readers.

Resulting Fears: Wounds often spawn fears that are born out of a desire to avoid repeating the negative experience and associated emotions. These fears will absolutely impact a character’s behaviors and habits moving forward, so it’s important to identify them.

New Habits: The lies and resulting fears that stem from a wound will drastically alter a character’s actions as he moves into his new normal. The habits offered in this thesaurus may seem contradictory in nature because behaviors will vary from character to character. For example, someone experiencing the violent death of a loved one could begin to act a number of ways: he might withdraw from meaningful relationships out of the fear that he can’t protect his loved ones; he may turn volatile and seek revenge because he wrongly believes that he will never find peace until the culprit is brought to justice; he could throw himself into work as a way of avoiding the negative feelings that resulted from the wound. Once you’ve identified any lies or fears, it will be a simple matter of picking the new behaviors that correspond.

As you can see, wounds are highly formative. Choosing the right wound for your character and your story is a good first step toward writing a believable character who rings true with readers. If you would like more information on wounds, the front matter of The Negative Trait Thesaurus covers this in great detail.

We hope that you find The Emotional Wound Thesaurus to be a useful addition to our Writers Helping Writers collection.

You can find the sample entries for this thesaurus HERE and the completed book HERE. We are excited for the depth this book will bring to your characters. Happy writing!

photo credits: 1)Pixabay, 2)Wikimedia Commons

About BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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[…] The Emotional Wounds Thesaurus […]

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[…] The Emotional Wounds Thesaurus […]

Stacey Riley
Stacey Riley
4 years ago

Will this become a book eventually? Love to read it on my kindle.

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
4 years ago
Reply to  Stacey Riley

This will be the next book we create, yes. 🙂 But that means at least a year. 🙂 Becca and I are doing something very unusual for us…taking the summer off. 🙂

Stacey Riley
Stacey Riley
4 years ago

Excellent news on all fronts!

Frank
Frank
4 years ago

I’ve been writing a MG novel on teen therapy, but am being VERY careful not to stray into Pop Psychology, because that would almost automatically disqualify it during any agent or publisher’s legal review. The story is more about the patient, and not what the therapist says, and is one way to keep the story legally safe (I wouldn’t want a 10 year-old self-diagnosing)……

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
4 years ago
Reply to  Frank

Yes, good strategy. The MG protagonist is the star of the book, and if you have too strong of a therapist’s angle it will feel preachy and not ring true with the MG voice.

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[…] Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization […]

Elba
Elba
4 years ago

I can see that I’m very late in this thread but, I’m wondering if the Emotional Wounds Thesaurus and the Emotion Thesaurus are the same. From the info here, it looks like a new book coming out? Have you published it yet? I have all of your books and subscribe to your blog. Can’t imagine how I missed this.

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
4 years ago
Reply to  Elba

HI Elba,

The Emotional Wound Thesaurus is not a book..yet. And yes, it is different from The Emotion Thesaurus. The ET looks at how to express emotion, and the Wound Thesaurus is about painful past wounds characters must overcome to grow in Character Arc.

If you like, go here and you can see the entries we have explored on the blog so far. https://writershelpingwriters.net/emotional-wounds-thesaurus/

I hope this helps! You may also want to check out Emotional Amplifiers, a free companion to the Emotion thesaurus. Just go here and scroll down: https://writershelpingwriters.net/bookstore/

Penelope Silvers
4 years ago

I’ve got the others and chomping at the bit for this one! Thank you for all your hard work for us struggling writers! 😀

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[…] Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization […]

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[…] Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization […]

Isabelle
Isabelle
5 years ago

Will this thesaurus, and the skill/talent list be added to onestopforwriters.com?
Cause that would be awesome. =)

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  Isabelle

It will. Becca and I just were unable to upgrade it in time for launch, but it is on our to-do list! 🙂

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[…] Check out their post from May 2015, Announcing…The Emotional Wounds Thesaurus with writershelpingwriters.net or click Writers Helping Writers: […]

Irene
Irene
5 years ago

Two more wounds for you:
1) Character’s husband and best friend run off together – double deceit!
2) Character’s husband doesn’t want children even tho she does. Has vasectomy without telling her. When she finds out, the relationship breaks down. Divorce. Within no time at all he has re-married a woman with three small children to whom he becomes ‘daddy’.

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Cynsational Information & Giveaways | TiaMart Blog
5 years ago

[…] The Emotional Wounds Thesaurus by Becca Puglisi from Writers Serving to Writers. Peek: “Regardless of the wound, the result’s an all-consuming worry that if the character doesn’t shield himself, this example (and ensuing emotional ache) will occur once more.” See additionally How to Uncover Your Character’s Emotional Wound by Angela Ackerman from Writers Serving to Writers. […]

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[…] Have you thought about what secrets your hero might be harboring, and the price that comes with bearing them? After all, rarely are secrets good things, especially in fiction. In fact, they are usually a rat’s nest of pain, because often a secret is kept out fear of exploitation or judgement. Sometimes at the heart of one lies the character’s Emotional Wound. […]

Faith
5 years ago

Are you *sure* I can’t have it right this minute? I can hardly wait to preorder. This may be your best yet.

Cheers,

Faith

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  Faith

Thanks Faith, lol. Becca and I are very happy this collection is helping people!

Victoriah Lloyd
Victoriah Lloyd
5 years ago

You have no idea how much. I’ve been writing now about 6 years. My biggest problem was character creation. When I got my first real breakthrough was when I bought your book collection from the Writer’s Book Store. Angela & Becca, you have truly changed my life as a writer. Cheers to you.

Angela Mayfair
Angela Mayfair
5 years ago

I want an entire book of this so badly, I would pre order it today if I could.

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  Angela Mayfair

Lol! We are only a few entries in, but the response has been incredibly positive. I think this is an area many writers needed help with!

Sharon K Mayhew
5 years ago
Reply to  Angela Mayfair

I totally agree!!!!

Karen rider
5 years ago

When will the emotional wounds thesaurus be available?

ANGELA ACKERMAN
Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  Karen rider

Hi Karen,

We are currently exploring this thesaurus on the blog only, as we do with all our thesaurus collections in the beginning. If we see a strong response from our readers asking us to convert it to a book, we then decide whether to do the conversion. As you can imagine, each of our reference books is very labor intensive as we strive to improve on what we offer on the blog and add in the teaching component of writing each specific area of description. So, we focus on conversions that we feel will offer the best help to writers. 🙂

Dee Kincade
5 years ago

I want to add my vote. I would definitely buy this book when it comes out. I already have your other books and use them all the time.

I can’t wait to pre-order!

Thanks!

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[…] The Emotional Wounds Theusauras from Writers Helping Writers — This has really helped me start getting back into the heads of my characters. […]

Cassandra L Shaw
Cassandra L Shaw
5 years ago

Love all your emotion books and look forward to using and recommending this resource.

Karen Jennings
Karen Jennings
5 years ago

I am excited about your newest endeavor; I have all of your books and they are profoundly helpful to writers and in real life as well. Thanks for writing these books and best of luck to you both!

Joy Avery Melville
5 years ago

I can hardly wait. . .I’ve got your other three TRAIT/EMOTION books and use them extensively for each of my Contemporary Christian Women’s Fiction stories. CONGRATULATIONS. . .and I’ll be watching for this new addition to the Trait Family. ‘;)

Natalie Aguirre
5 years ago

Congrats! Sounds like a great addition to your series.

Angela
5 years ago

Thank you all so much for the enthusiasm–we are very thrilled to be able to tackle this topic, and create a new database that will help writers brainstorm the deeper motivations and fears that drive their characters. The first post will be this Saturday–looking forward to it! 🙂

Raven Jester
Raven Jester
5 years ago

Wow, I really like this idea for a Theesauraus. For me personally, I have trouble working out the how – the follow on effect of the wounding, so this idea is great. I look forward to each posting.

Penelope James
Penelope James
5 years ago

Sounds fantastic! Can’t wait for it to come out. Congratulations!

Sherrey Meyer
5 years ago

WOW! Looking forward to getting my hands on this!

Cathy Brockman
5 years ago

I cannot wait!

mshatch
5 years ago

I can’t wait to read more; this sounds both fascinating and extremely helpful!

Phoenix Grey
5 years ago

I can’t wait for this! I am hoping it’s going to be published as a book. Great choice for the next thesaurus guys. This series of books is genius. 🙂