Crafting a story is a bit like juggling–so many elements must come into play at the right moment to put on an amazing show. There’s the strong, compelling hero, damaged in some way that the reader identifies with, up against impossible odds. There’s a vivid setting brimming with symbols and foreshadowing. And we can’t forget witty dialogue, great pacing, conflict, tension, sensory description and a one-of-a-kind voice. So while we’re keeping all these things in the front of our brain as we write, what are the biggest mistakes we want to avoid? Editor Jodie Renner is here to answer that question!
10 NO-NO’S FOR A COMPELLING STORY
Today’s fiction readers are more discerning and busier than ever. They want to be swept away by a captivating story with a charismatic main character. They don’t want to be talked at. Don’t wrench them out of the fictive dream by addressing them as the author to explain things or otherwise taking them out of the character’s immediate world.
Avoid these storytelling gaffes in your novel or short story:
1. Too much description
Avoid writing paragraphs of description of the scenery, weather, and other surroundings. Write only the most compelling details, and from the main character’s point of view – how is the weather affecting her? Are details in his physical environment hindering his goals? And don’t get into too much detailed information on exactly what each character looks like and everything they’re wearing, especially for minor characters. Paint in large brushstrokes, mentioning only the most salient details, those that contribute to characterization.
2. An unlikeable protagonist
Make sure your main character is someone readers will want to bond with, root for, and follow for the whole story. Don’t make him or her cold, arrogant, difficult, demanding, unfeeling, insensitive, dismissive, timid, whiny, or wimpy. Go for sympathetic and likeable, but vulnerable, with some baggage.
3. A cardboard lead
Make sure your hero or heroine is multidimensional, with lots of personality and attitude, and plenty of drive and charisma. They need strengths but also inner conflict and secrets. Nobody wants to follow a bland, wishy-washy, overly ordinary lead character.
4. La-la land – Characters getting along too well
Even allies such as friends and family members should be interacting with some friction and an undercurrent of tension to add interest. If everybody’s getting along just fine, you need to cause some strife. Why? Because in fiction, happy equals boring.
5. Too much backstory
Don’t interrupt the story to give a block of background information on the character – where he grew up, how long he’s been at this job, marital history, etc. Weave in only the most relevant or intriguing details, in small bits as you go along, from his point of view, not as the author, and tie it in with what’s happening – make it directly relevant to the scene. Flashbacks work well, too, but keep them brief, and again, something in the scene causes the character to start thinking about his past. It doesn’t just come out of nowhere.
6. Omniscient point of view
Avoid interrupting the narrative as the author, addressing the readers to explain a point or tell them about future or past events, other characters, or something going on somewhere else, all from outside the viewpoint of the character. Keep the readers in the character’s head and world at that moment, firmly ensconced in the fictive dream.
7. Information dumps
Avoid jumping in as the author to explain technical details or other information to the readers in a lump of exposition. Give them the minimal info they need for the story, still in the character’s point of view, with tension and attitude, through searching or a question-and-answer dialogue with someone else. Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power goes into more detail on this, with examples and tips.
8. AYKB – “As you know, Bob…”
That’s a form of info dump through dialogue, where one character is telling another something they both know, just to impart that info to the readers, like “As you know, Bob, we used to live on a farm until we moved to the city when you were ten.” Clunky, amateurish and transparent.
9. Too many similar characters and/or characters all sound the same – like the author
Make your characters different enough to add contrast, dissonance and sparks. And make sure each character’s speaking patterns and word choices reflect their gender, age, background, education, interests, and personality. A rough character isn’t going to speak the same way as a professional, and men and women speak quite differently, especially when stressed. This applies to their thoughts as well, of course, and their general internal observations, analysis, and planning.
10. And the biggest storytelling gaffe of all – not enough conflict & tension
Every single scene needs conflict and a change of some kind, to keep readers turning the pages. Every single page needs tension. If your story is lagging, it’s because there isn’t enough discord or friction. If you have any boring scenes or chapters, revise them or delete them, saving any critical parts to add to other scenes. Let the sparks fly and get the readers worrying about your protagonist!
Do you have any more storytelling gaffes to avoid? Let us know in the comments below!
Jodie Renner, a freelance fiction editor specializing in thrillers, has published two books to date in her series, An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: WRITING A KILLER THRILLER, with the updated, expanded edition now available in e-book and paperback on Amazon; and STYLE THAT SIZZLES & PACING FOR POWER, available in paperback, for Kindle, and in other e-book formats. For more info, please visit Jodie’s author website or editor website.
Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.
“Avoid interrupting the narrator as the author” is my fave out of all those fab tips. Thanks.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments, Linda, Natalie and Swati. I’m glad you found my suggestions helpful.
Definitely a handy list. My biggest weakness used to be having all the characters sound like each other and like me. Thankfully one of my early critique partners was kind enough to point it out, and boy, what an eye-opener that was! I still cringe when I look at some of those early writings.
While I’d like to believe that I’ve come a long way since then, it’s still good to have these reminders from time to time.
Thank you for this post. Now I’m off looking for Jodie’s book.
Now I am really considering my dialogue. I believe my characters are unique and engaging but now I am skeptical. Thank you for clearly stating these no-no’s. I will make sure that I keep and eye for them.
I have to disagree on omniscient viewpoint. Most of my favorite books — the ones that get reread over and over — are in omni. Omni itself doesn’t cause a story to not be compelling. Writing poorly does
Thanks, Amanda and Marcia.
Yes, it’s tough to be “mean” to your protagonist, isn’t it Amanda! But hopefully they’re stronger for all the challenges you throw at them, and things work out well for them at the end! Then readers feel relieved and close the book with satisfaction.
Great tips.
I struggle with adding enough friction and conflict in every scene. I’m one of those people who is uncomfortable with confrontation, so I have to get comfortable with making my characters uncomfortable.
Thanks, Misha! Looks like I should rethink or modify that point a bit…
I always appreciate readers’ comments and suggestions, whether you agree or disagree with my points.
I completely agree with the list. 9 out of 10 are in my top twenty pet peeves.
Only the unlikable character I disagree with. An MC can be anything you make him/her as long as you make sure the reader gets a taste of the reasons behind it.
Thanks for this great information. I have the tendency to write too much backstory and was a good reminder not to do that.
Thanks for sharing those observations with us, Denise. I would feel the same way as you did. 100 years ago, lengthy descriptions were common and needed, as people didn’t travel much and didn’t have movies and TV to help them see what other places, buildings, etc. looked like. Now most of us can visualize where the characters are with a few broad brush strokes. And of course add in any details that add to the plot or stress the character. If we want to find out more about a particular building or whatever, we can Google it so easily.
I agree, I recently purchased the latest book by a well known author, published by a big house. I was so excited to read his next big novel. He should have read your, “Ten things not to put in your novel,” blog before publishing. There was entirely too much description. I felt as if I were reading a travel brochure. He also added in so much “needless information” about the history of certain buildings. The protagonist would be running for their life through a building and we had to divert to a history and political lesson concerning the architecture. I was so disappointed, I ended up not finishing the book. The author also made his protagonist very unlikable by having him insult self-published authors in a very demeaning statement, which he thought would be funny, but was actually very insulting. I don’t think I will be reading any of his future endeavors. Great blog by the way and thanks for the pointers, even the big guys can always use them. I know I will!
Thanks, Lydia and Julie. Glad you find my tips helpful.
Conflict in every scene. That’s what I’m working on right now. Thanks so much for this great advice.
Excellent post, thank you!
Thanks, Theresa. They’re not really rules so much as indications of weakness or less than compelling writing — areas that could be improved to draw readers into the fictive dream and keep them there. Older novels have more of what are considered weaknesses or flaws by today’s savvy readers, like the author butting in all the time. And some bestselling novels get into these kinds of things a bit here and there, but the author is otherwise so talented readers overlook it.
Excellent tips. I’ve done these mistakes, though I think I’m much better now. I’ve also seen these mistakes in manuscripts I’ve critiqued. What amazes me is that there are published books that break some of these rules.
Thanks, Martina. In real life, we want everyone to be happy and getting along well. In fiction, we get drawn in by a character who’s in trouble and trying to solve problems. We worry about her and keep turning the pages. If everything’s fine, why keep reading?
Fantastic post, Jodie! I love all the points, but I especially love your terminology for “La-la land.” That’s such a perfect and memorable way to phrase it. 🙂
Thanks, Sharon!
Great article! Not only a good review for writers but a good checklist for critiquers. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Rosi! I’m glad you find my guidelines helpful.
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These are good guidlines and good reminders for all of us to think about. Thanks for getting them to us.
Cynthia, I know what you mean! LOL.
Robert, these are guidelines for success, not “rules.” Number 8 is about dialogue, and you have dialogue, don’t you? So the point in that one and in general is not to intrude as the author to address the readers to explain things to them. Try to stay in the character’s point of view as much as possible. That brings the character to life and sucks readers in, as they become emotionally engaged with him or her.
Ten things I don’t want in my book? Hmmm. Debatable. For example: Number 8. Sounds good, but it isn’t for me. I’m writing a novel from third person omniscient. Number 10: Every single page needs tension? Nah. Wouldn’t work. As a reader, I want a break from tension. I want a chance to breath, and I’m sure the MCs do as well.
I could continue, but I think you get my points. You know, I always here people say, “You have to know the rules before you can break them,” but I’ve noticed no person has the same “rules” as anyone else. Stephen King goes on for pages with his characters gazing at their navels. Ann Rice does the same, but with dinner. Lovecraft went on with pages to tell us we couldn’t fathom the true forms of the Great Old Gods. Heck, these folks would even change the ways they told stories from one book to the next. Definitely no consistency there.
But, that’s just my two cents. What do I know? I’ve not published a book before.
I forgot to address the issue of tension. I definitely feel that every single page needs tension. I don’t mean outright conflict or shouting matches, but even a conversation between friends or lovers should have some level of tension, usually expressed through inner thoughts of worry or disbelief or doubt or whatever, through facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice, or through hesitation, silences, changing the subject. No tension = boring.
Thank you for the reminders. Most of these things I *know*, but reading back through my work, I sometimes have some “how did that get in there” moments.
Thanks for all your comments, everyone. I just got back from an hour and a half dentist appointment!
Bibliotropic, thanks for your comments. Angela suggested I stay under 700 words, so I didn’t get into more detail on some of the points, particularly the unlikeable protagonist. That’s subjective, and I think you’ll find that any unlikeable protagonists you love anyway have enough redeeming or fascinating qualities for you to like them or at least be intrigued by them.
A lot of my blog posts turn into chapters for my books, and I often incorporate ideas expressed in the comments below, so thanks to all for your thoughtful opinions!
Bibliotropic, you’ve raised some good discussion points. Every rule has some wiggle room. The ones listed here are pretty solid, I believe. As writers, we’ve got to earn the right to break the rules. Stephen King’s *hugs the King* characters can indulge in page after page of internal dialogue, and no one’s going to tell him they can’t. But it’s still not the best technique.
It’s become a cliché, but it’s true that we have to learn the rules before we can learn when to break them. While there certainly is wiggle room in the points listed here, overall, I think they provide a solid foundation for crafting a compelling story.
There’s a lot of wiggle room here, and a lot of problems with the rules, too. For example, the cardboard lead. Very good point. The problem is that someone who’s writing a cardboard protagonist isn’t necessarily going to be the best judge of it. A poor writer may think that giving their protagonist a phobia of spiders and a less-than-stellar high school GPA makes them well-rounded, when it may not. Writers are more likely to not notice these things than readers, because the character is already in the author’s head, complete with foibles and layers and the whole nine yards, but the author may not be expressing it well.
Also, as for the “don’t write an unlikeable protagonist” rule… I dunno. The traits you listed are part and parcel of a complete person, and to assume that somebody arrogant, insensitive, or timid can’t be the main character is dismissing a whole load of stories. Tons of people like to read about “unlikeable” protagonists because they feel it makes the story more realistic. After all, plenty of important things happens every day to people who aren’t can-do-no-wrong majestic heroes, so why shouldn’t our fiction have the same diversity? I can root for someone who’s got a cold attitude as well as I can for someone who snuggles kittens all the time, depending on the situation.
Too much description, backstory, and infodumping is also subjective. What may be too much for one reader may be just fine for another, and again, the author isn’t usually the one best able to tell when too much is too much.
Also I would say that tension doesn’t need to be on every page. Story does, but tension is another thing entirely. Too much tension and I actually start getting bored, because the situation can become too hectic, the author can start looking for ridiculous reasons to create tension and conflict where there’s no need for it, and too much tension and not enough follow-through leads to a generally bad read.
I’m not saying these guidelines are bad ones. There are some genuinely good pointers in here, and there’s no denying it. The problem just comes when you say, “Don’t do too much of this,” and “Make sure you do just enough of that.” Too subjective, and every case is different. One of my favourite authors commits a lot of these so-called faux pas and yet still tells a good story, and I’ve seen authors who clearly try to find the right balance with these ideas who end up failing miserably.
Fantastic list – I am going to print it out and hang it in my office. Thanks – Jodie! It will provide excellent reminders not only for my middle-grade, but can apply to my picture books as well.
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The hardest thing for me is to be able to stand back and see how backstory fits in naturally, because I know it it all, so I tend to struggle with how much information readers require and when. This means I can overcompensate! I then have to become friendly with the delete button 🙂 Great tips!
As you know Bob, being my favorite. Right up there with “If I had know then…”
Thanks, Carrie! Glad you found my list helpful.
Thanks, Becca. Don’t most of the unlikeable characters redeem themselves at least to some extent at the end? They usually go through a character arc where they develop better values or redeeming features by the end, and we can usually see this slow change as the story progresses. I’m thinking of some movie characters like Rick in Casablanca or Clint Eastwood’s racist character in Gran Torino.
Great list, Jodie! 🙂
Great points, Jodie. #10 is a biggie for me. I’m always working on that in my WIPs. And the likable characters one is fascinating to me. I do believe in the importance of making the character likable in some way, but then I come across an utterly despicable main character who I LOVE. Scarlett O’Hara, for instance. And most recently, the main character of The Wicked and the Just. It’s such a delicate balance of including the flaws but creating some kind of likability or vulnerability, like you mentioned.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Tyler. That’s one of those, “Come on! Give me a break!” things. 🙂 Fortunately, all these no-no’s can be fixed in the revising stage.
I have read a few books that have #8 all up in them. I think it’s probably my greatest pet peeve when reading!
Great post!
Thanks to all of you for your comments!
Johanna, I think there’s unlikeable and there’s unlikeable. If I can see a core of decency in there, under the rough exterior, then I want to keep reading. This usually comes through in the character’s thoughts – mild regrets for what they said or how they handled a situation. For me, if the protagonist, the one I want to identify with and bond with, is cold, unfeeling, arrogant, or bitchy, and is totally unaware of that and shows no desire to consider how they’re hurting others, and doesn’t improve by the end, then I’m done with them – and that author. It’s essential for an antagonist to be unlikeable, of course!
I agree with almost all of these, except for the likeable characters. I can think of many an unlikeable character that has kept me turning the pages.
Excellent tips, Jodie. I have to cut info dumps here and there in my revising. Thank you for sharing with us!!
Jodie, thank you for visiting! These are great things to avoid, because any one of them can sink a story. With so many books out there and so many authors now, we really need to brring our A game to keep readers engaged!
I just had to cut a bunch of back story 🙁 And now I have to find a way to weave it in somewhere else…ack!
Thanks so much for inviting me back as a guest on your excellent blog, Angela and Becca! It’s great to be back!
Thanks for commenting, Laura And Kessie. It seems both of you are ahead of the game, since you’re already aware of potential problems you’ll need to deal with when you’re revising.
I struggle with info dump. On the first draft I throw the kitchen sink at the story, which means a lot of cutting afterward.
Some great points here, I tend to struggle with ‘show, don’t tell’ – it’s the first thing I look for when I edit.