Emotional Wounds Thesaurus Entry: Becoming a Caregiver at a Young Age

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect. 

We hope the sample list of ideas below will help you see how emotional trauma will influence your character’s behavior and mindset. For the full entry of this and over 100 other emotional wounds, check into our bestselling resource, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.

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Courtesy: Sophie & Cie at Creative Commons

Examples:

  • Having to take care of younger siblings because one’s parent is neglectful, absentee, mentally ill, or an addict
  • Taking full responsibility (as a new adult) of younger siblings upon the death of one’s parents
  • Having to care for an ill or incapacitated parent…

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

  • I am the only person who can keep us afloat.
  • Adults can’t be trusted.
  • I’m as capable as any adult….

Positive Attributes That May Result: bold, cautious, disciplined, discreet, focused, gentle, honorable, independent, industrious, mature, meticulous, organized, persistent…

Negative Traits That May Result: addictive, callous, compulsive, controlling, cynical, evasive, fussy, humorless, impatient, inflexible, inhibited, obsessive, perfectionist…

Resulting Fears:

  • Fear of losing something in one’s charge
  • Fear of important details slipping through the cracks
  • Fear of someone discovering a shameful secret (that one’s parent is an alcoholic, that one’s parent has abandoned his/her family, that the home is embarrassingly messy, threadbare, or unattractive)…

Possible Habits That May Emerge: 

  • Taking on and succeeding at jobs one didn’t know one could do; being a risk-taker
  • Putting oneself last (taking on extra jobs, going without sleep or food, etc.)
  • Anticipating the needs of others; showing empathy
  • Becoming hyper-cautious about safety, hygiene, and other factors that affect one’s ability to care for others
  • Over-protecting the people in one’s charge…

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters and keeping them from being whole and fulfilled?

Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.

To help with this, we have integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers.

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Each entry has been enhanced and expanded to provide even more helpful information about your character’s wounds and is cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. We’ve also included a must-see tutorial on this topic—a crash-course on how a wound impacts the affected character and the role wounds play in his or her arc over the course of a story. Interested in seeing a sampling of our completed wound thesaurus entries?  Head on over and register for free!

On the other hand, if you prefer your references in book form, we’ve got you covered, too, because this thesaurus is now available for purchase in both digital and print form. In addition to the 120+ entries, each book contains instructional front matter to help you understand wounds and how they’ll affect your character and story. With chapters about the wound’s aftereffects and how the event ties in to the character arc, along with ideas on brainstorming your character’s wound and how to best reveal the trauma to readers, this book will be your go-to resource for connecting the backstory dots and coming up with characters who are well-rounded and realistic.

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About BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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3 Responses to Emotional Wounds Thesaurus Entry: Becoming a Caregiver at a Young Age

  1. Pingback: Monday Must-Reads [09.28.15]

  2. This is true of one of my future heroes in a book I’m researching at the moment.

  3. Raven Jester says:

    Thank you this is great, I am building a character where he does become the caregiver, and this is great help for what kind of influences he will have, how it has shaped him. Thank you so much for this one.

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