Emotional Wounds Thesaurus: A Family Member’s Suicide

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

We hope the sample list of ideas below will help you see how emotional trauma will influence your character’s behavior and mindset. For the full entry of this and over 100 other emotional wounds, check into our bestselling resource, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect. For this particular wound, there is no doubt that some of you have had personal experience with it, either as someone considering suicide or someone living in the aftermath of a loved one’s suicide. If you are suffering in any way due to a past, planned, or possible suicide, there are people who can help. Just call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and speak to someone 24 hours a day.


Courtesy: Pixabay

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

  • This is my fault.
  • If I had been X (more available, a better daughter/son/spouse, etc.) he/she wouldn’t have done it.
  • I should have seen the signs…

Positive Attributes That May Result: affectionate, appreciative, nurturing, observant, pensive, private, proactive, responsible, sentimental, supportive

Negative Traits That May Result: addictive, apathetic, callous, compulsive, confrontational, cynical, fussy, hostile, humorless, inhibited, insecure, irrational, martyr…

Resulting Fears:

  • The fear that one will miss the signs and it will happen again
  • The fear of never being “good enough” for one’s loved ones
  • The fear of never achieving true intimacy with others…

Possible Habits That May Emerge: 

  • Withdrawing from loved ones
  • Maintaining surface relationships as a way of avoiding potential hurt
  • Becoming overly needy and clingy with loved ones
  • Becoming hyper vigilant with loved ones
  • Obsessively watching for signs…

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters and keeping them from being whole and fulfilled?

Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.

To help with this, we have integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers.


Each entry has been enhanced and expanded to provide even more helpful information about your character’s wounds and is cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. We’ve also included a must-see tutorial on this topic—a crash-course on how a wound impacts the affected character and the role wounds play in his or her arc over the course of a story. Interested in seeing a sampling of our completed wound thesaurus entries?  Head on over and register for free!

On the other hand, if you prefer your references in book form, we’ve got you covered, too, because this thesaurus is now available for purchase in both digital and print form. In addition to the 120+ entries, each book contains instructional front matter to help you understand wounds and how they’ll affect your character and story. With chapters about the wound’s aftereffects and how the event ties in to the character arc, along with ideas on brainstorming your character’s wound and how to best reveal the trauma to readers, this book will be your go-to resource for connecting the backstory dots and coming up with characters who are well-rounded and realistic.




Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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4 years ago

You can also always call 911. Officers have dealt with this exact scenario hundreds of times and can offer local assistance that 800 numbers often can’t.

4 years ago

I couldn’t help but think that if someone who was contemplating suicide read this, they might think twice. But then I also know that when a person gets to that point, it’s often a case of I can’t stand one more second and they can’t think beyond that.

I know that sometimes these are hard for you to write, but I have that situation in my story and this entry gave me some excellent things to think about.

Thanks, as always, for your help.

On a brighter note- congratulations on the Rural Thesaurus being “Best Seller” and # 1 in it’s category on Amazon (with Urban right behind at #2!!)