Emotional Wound Entry: Discovering One’s Sibling Was Abused

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect. 

We hope the sample list of ideas below will help you see how emotional trauma will influence your character’s behavior and mindset. For the full entry of this and over 100 other emotional wounds, check into our bestselling resource, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.

Discovering One’s Sibling Was Abused

Examples:

• witnessing the abuse first hand (seeing or hearing it occur)
• discovering the abuse after the fact only when one’s sibling opens up about it
• knowing one’s sibling is taking the abuse to protect oneself or other loved ones…

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

• This is my fault, I should have done something
• I should have protected my sibling
• I should have seen what was happening…

Positive Attributes That May Result: affectionate, alert, appreciative, courageous, empathetic, generous, honest, honorable, humble, introverted, loyal, kind, merciful…

Negative Traits That May Result: confrontational, cowardly, humorless, inhibited, insecure, nervous, paranoid, reckless, self-destructive, subservient…

Resulting Fears:

• fear of trusting people
• fear of being responsible for others
• fear of letting others down…

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

• subservience to one’s sibling to make up for a perceived past failing (the character will feel guilt, even if they were not in a position to help or didn’t know it was occurring
• anger and outbursts, even violence
• refusing to speak to those who one blames, even if they were unaware themselves of what happened
• a desire for revenge
• second guessing one’s decisions, especially when one is responsible for others
• Growing overprotective of loved ones…

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here. And for a boatload of practical information on how to incorporate wounds into your story, see our collection of posts on this topic.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Save

Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters?

Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.

To learn more, we recommend The Emotional Wound Thesaurus. This writing guide explores emotional trauma and what it will look like for your character and their journey in the story. It highlights 120+ possible wounding events and helps you brainstorm how each might play out in your story so you can write your character’s behaviors, attitudes, fears, and insecurities with authenticity.

Save

Save

Save