Emotional Wounds Entry: Rejection By One’s Peers

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect. 

We hope the sample list of ideas below will help you see how emotional trauma will influence your character’s behavior and mindset. For the full entry of this and over 100 other emotional wounds, check into our bestselling resource, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.

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Courtesy: Pixabay

Examples: Being rejected by one’s peers for an unfair reason, such as 

  • one’s race
  • one’s religion
  • one’s sexual orientation or gender identity
  • living in the wrong neighborhood…

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

  • I’ll never find love or acceptance.
  • No one will ever be able to get past X to see the real me.
  • I don’t need anyone else to get by…

Positive Attributes That May Result: cautious, cooperative, courteous, creative, disciplined, discreet, empathetic, focused, funny, generous, independent, industrious…

Negative Traits That May Result: antisocial, apathetic, callous, compulsive, cowardly, cruel, dishonest, evasive, frivolous, hostile, humorless, inhibited, insecure, irrational…

Resulting Fears:

  • fear of rejection
  • fear of opening up/being vulnerable to others
  • fear of people discovering a secret one has been hiding…

Possible Habits That May Emerge: 

  • Withdrawing from others
  • Seeking out other disenfranchised people and groups
  • Allowing oneself to be mistreated so one can be part of a group
  • Giving up the habits, hobbies, or beliefs that one is being persecuted for embracing
  • Hiding the thing that causes one to be mistreated…

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters and keeping them from being whole and fulfilled?

Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.

To help with this, we have integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers.

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Each entry has been enhanced and expanded to provide even more helpful information about your character’s wounds and is cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. We’ve also included a must-see tutorial on this topic—a crash-course on how a wound impacts the affected character and the role wounds play in his or her arc over the course of a story. Interested in seeing a sampling of our completed wound thesaurus entries?  Head on over and register for free!

On the other hand, if you prefer your references in book form, we’ve got you covered, too, because this thesaurus is now available for purchase in both digital and print form. In addition to the 120+ entries, each book contains instructional front matter to help you understand wounds and how they’ll affect your character and story. With chapters about the wound’s aftereffects and how the event ties in to the character arc, along with ideas on brainstorming your character’s wound and how to best reveal the trauma to readers, this book will be your go-to resource for connecting the backstory dots and coming up with characters who are well-rounded and realistic.

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About BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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5 Responses to Emotional Wounds Entry: Rejection By One’s Peers

  1. Pingback: Monday Must-Reads [08.22.16]

  2. Nancy Sondel says:

    Outstanding article; thank you!

  3. Brandon says:

    Thank you for choosing this emotional wound, Becca! It was the one I suggested a couple of weeks ago. This post has already been a huge help to me in figuring out my protagonist. The amount of work you and Angela put into this site, and these entries, is much appreciated. I’ve learned so much from my daily visits to Writers Helping Writers, and continue to learn new things about characters, setting, and the craft in general every single day. Thanks again!

  4. excellent post. I dare say that this description applies to many of us/or someone we know in one way or the other. Thanks, Becca.

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