Successful stories are driven by authentic and interesting characters, so it’s important to craft them carefully. But characters don’t usually exist in a vacuum; throughout the course of your story, they’ll live, work, play, and fight with other cast members. Some of those relationships are positive and supportive, pushing the protagonist to positive growth and helping them achieve their goals. Other relationships do exactly the opposite—derailing your character’s confidence and self-worth—or they cause friction and conflict that leads to fallout and disruption. Many relationships hover somewhere in the middle. A balanced story will require a mix of these dynamics.
The purpose of this thesaurus is to encourage you to explore the kinds of relationships that might be good for your story and figure out what each might look like. Think about what a character needs (good and bad), and build a network of connections for him or her that will challenge them, showcase their innermost qualities, and bind readers to their relationship trials and triumphs.
The following is just a sample of the content available for this relationship. To see it in its entirety (along with 45+ additional relationship entries), check out our Description Thesaurus Collection at One Stop For Writers.
Estranged Parent and Child
Description:
An estrangement between a parent and a child occurs when there is an absence of communication between them. Certain factors can contribute to this situation. What led to the breakdown in communication? Was there a long-term pattern of abuse, or a specific painful incident? Was the choice one-sided or mutual? Was the estranged parent or child coerced by someone else into ending the relationship? The separation of a parent and child is often a devastating scenario, creating emotional wounds and resulting dysfunctional behaviors that will influence dynamics in the character’s other relationships.
Relationship Dynamics
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict.
The characters avoiding gatherings where the other may be present
The characters attending family gatherings and events but pretending the other person isn’t there
Asking other family members not to speak about the estranged party
Running the other party down to others in an attempt to get people on the character’s side
Challenges That Could Threaten The Status Quo
The parent or child becoming ill
The death of a mutual loved one
Being approached about reconciliation by someone the character greatly respects
The parent or child experiencing a major life change, such as marriage or childbirth
Wounds That Could Factor into The Relationship
A loved one’s suicide, A parent’s divorce, A parent’s abandonment or rejection, A sibling’s betrayal, A toxic relationship, Abandonment over an unexpected pregnancy, Battling a mental disorder, Becoming a caregiver at an early age, Becoming homeless for reasons out of one’s control
Clashing Personality Trait Combinations
Discreet and Gossipy, Independent and Needy, Controlling and Rebellious, Judgmental and Oversensitive, Responsible and Uncooperative, Dishonest and Honorable
Negative Outcomes of Friction
Arguments or fights
Having limited access to other family members
Being left out of gatherings with loved ones
Ways This Relationship May Lead to Positive Change
One of the parties recognizing the importance of family
An adult learning not to repeat a negative pattern of behavior
Themes and Symbols That Can Be Explored through This Relationship
A fall from grace, Alienation, A quest for knowledge, Betrayal, Coming of age, Crossroads, Danger, Death, Deception, Depression, Disorder, Endings, Family
Other Relationship Thesaurus entries can be found here.
Need More Descriptive Help?
The content you’ve just read is a sample of one entry found in our Relationship Thesaurus at One Stop for Writers. To access the complete entry, the other relationships, and all the collections in this powerful show-don’t-tell Thesaurus Database (18 unique thesauri and growing!), give our free trial a spin.
Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.
Thank you so much for all of the work you do! I can’t count on BOTH my hands how many times you guys have helped me with my writing!
I have a question that sort of relates to this relationship, but it’s also about emotional wounds. Like I know a character can have many traumas in their past, but do you think they can have more than one emotional wound or do they have to have one that is the most significant for them?
Thank you so much!
Many characters (and real life people) have more than one wounding event that haunts them. But it’s hard in storytelling for a character to come to grips with more than one traumatic event in the course of a book. It’s hard to write that in a way that is concise and streamlined for readers. So I’ve found that it’s best to identify the one wounding event that is most standing in the way of your character achieving their goal. That’s the one they’ll need to face and deal with in order to be successful and get what they’re after. Make sense?
This is AWESOME – I have an estranged parent and child, in the novel. I’ve been struggling to develop and show how this broken relationship works.
Thank you so much, Becca.
Have a great weekend,
Lita
I’m so glad we found something you could use! Enjoy 🙂