Relationship Thesaurus Entry: In-laws

Successful stories are driven by authentic and interesting characters, so it’s important to craft them carefully. But characters don’t usually exist in a vacuum; throughout the course of your story, they’ll live, work, play, and fight with other cast members. Some of those relationships are positive and supportive, pushing the protagonist to positive growth and helping them achieve their goals. Other relationships do exactly the opposite—derailing your character’s confidence and self-worth—or they cause friction and conflict that leads to fallout and disruption. Many relationships hover somewhere in the middle. A balanced story will require a mix of these dynamics.

The purpose of this thesaurus is to encourage you to explore the kinds of relationships that might be good for your story and figure out what each might look like. Think about what a character needs (good and bad), and build a network of connections for him or her that will challenge them, showcase their innermost qualities, and bind readers to their relationship trials and triumphs.

Description: an in-law relationship occurs when a marriage or like-union occurs, bringing two families together. The partners in the relationship join the family of their other half and a bond of respect, tolerance, and (hopefully) love comes about. But while the partners choose one another, their family members “come with the package” so to speak, meaning personality or ideological clashes can often cause friction.

Relationship Dynamics:
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict.
Showing genuine interest in the other’s passions, likes, beliefs, etc.
Engaging in polite conversation
Complimenting the other (on house improvements, a garden, a choice of car, etc.)
Asking about the other’s family members, job, vacations, activities
Pitching in to help when asked (childcare, helping with a move or repair)
Avoiding contentious topics to keep the peace
Offering advice, encouragement, and praise
Asking the other for their opinion or to weigh in with experience


Conflicting Desires that Can Impair the Relationship
A parent who doesn’t like their child’s spouse seeding discord in hopes they break up
Believing the other is a threat, which leads to constant friction
Control issues (over how children are raised, how the other lives, choices that affect family members in common)

Clashing Personality Trait Combinations: Controlling and Independent, judgmental and oversensitive, stingy and generous, proper and rebellious, inflexible and spontaneous, nosy and private, gullible and intelligent

Negative Outcomes of Friction
Family feuds
A tug-of-war over the loved one
Unwelcome family drama that ruins a special event (a wedding, for example)

Fictional Scenarios That Could Turn These Characters into Allies
When a loved one is in trouble and family members rally
If there’s a crisis and everyone sets aside their differences to help
When an intervention needs to happen (addressing a drug issue, hoarding, etc.)

Ways This Relationship May Lead to Positive Change
The passing of valuable knowledge and insight helping the character navigate a tough situation
Feeling part of a family if this is something they lacked growing up

Themes and Symbols That Can Be Explored through This Relationship
Alienation, A Quest for Knowledge, Betrayal, Borders, Coming of Age, Death, Disorder, Endings, Family, Friendship, Illness, Instability, Knowledge, Loss, Love, Peace, Perseverance, Pride, Rite of Passage, Sacrifice, Teamwork, Unity

Other Relationship Thesaurus entries can be found here.

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