Relationship Thesaurus Entry: Grandparent and Grandchild

Successful stories are driven by authentic and interesting characters, so it’s important to craft them carefully. But characters don’t usually exist in a vacuum; throughout the course of your story, they’ll live, work, play, and fight with other cast members. Some of those relationships are positive and supportive, pushing the protagonist to positive growth and helping them achieve their goals. Other relationships do exactly the opposite—derailing your character’s confidence and self-worth—or they cause friction and conflict that leads to fallout and disruption. Many relationships hover somewhere in the middle. A balanced story will require a mix of these dynamics.

The purpose of this thesaurus is to encourage you to explore the kinds of relationships that might be good for your story and figure out what each might look like. Think about what a character needs (good and bad), and build a network of connections for him or her that will challenge them, showcase their innermost qualities, and bind readers to their relationship trials and triumphs.

Grandparent and Grandchild

Description:
The grandparent/grandchild relationship is as varied as any familial relationship, running the gamut from intimate to distantly polite to toxic. Many factors will play into this relationship, such as physical distance between the parties, differing ideologies, and the parent’s influence, so it’s important to explore it from every angle to determine what will work best for your characters and story.

Relationship Dynamics
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict. 

Unconditional loved based on family ties
A grandparent who gives the grandchild the freedom to establish their own beliefs and values
A grandparent who backs up the efforts and parenting philosophies of the grandchild’s parents
A grandparent being a listening ear and part of the grandchild’s support system
A grandchild helping and supporting an elderly grandparent on a practical level
A grandparent learning new ideas and skills from their grandchild
A grandchild seeing their grandparent as a source of wisdom and guidance
A grandparent and grandchild who do not know one another well, if at all
A grandparent and grandchild who are cordial and polite but have no deeper relationship
The grandparent being too permissive in an attempt to be the grandchild’s friend 
The grandparent modeling bad behavior that the grandchild may emulate
A grandparent controlling and manipulating the grandchild
A grandchild who manipulates their grandparent to circumvent their parents
Conditional love based on the grandchild’s obedience and achievement
A neglectful or disinterested grandparent
An abusive or cruel grandparent

Challenges That Could Threaten The Status Quo
The grandparent being physically or financially unable to visit their grandchild
The grandchild’s family moving far away
The grandparent falling ill or being diagnosed with a serious medical condition
A new grandchild entering the scene
The grandparent needing to move into an assisted living facility
The grandparent refusing a request for help from the grandchild
The child’s parent being imprisoned, abandoning them, or dying
The grandchild being forced to spend time with the grandparent
Either party revealing a sensitive secret to the other
The grandparent needing to move in with the grandchild’s family
The grandparent losing their spouse
The grandparent not accepting the lifestyle choices of the grandchild
A falling-out between the grandparent and the child’s parent
The grandparent divorcing their spouse or remarrying
The grandchild needing financial help from their grandparent
The grandchild needing to live with the grandparent
The grandparent neglecting their grandchild or putting them in harm’s way

Conflicting Desires that Can Impair the Relationship
One party wanting a different level of communication and interaction than the other
The grandparent wanting custody of the grandchild
The grandchild wanting to live with the grandparent instead of their parents
The grandparent wanting the grandchild to share information about family ongoings
The grandchild wanting the grandparent to advocate for them while the grandparent prefers to stay out of their troubles
The grandparent wanting their estate to be executed differently than the grandchild does
The grandchild wanting all the grandparent’s attention
The grandparent wanting to ignore the preferences of the grandchild’s parents
The grandchild wanting medical care or a living situation that differs from what the grandparent chose
The grandparent wanting greater control over the grandchild’s life
Either party wanting the other party to embrace their views on lifestyle, religion, politics, or other divisive topics
One party wanting to keep a secret hidden
The grandparent wanting a different future than the one the grandchild is planning

Clashing Personality Trait Combinations
Independent and Controlling, Nurturing and Withdrawn, Ambitious and Lazy, Responsible and Scatterbrained, Responsible and Irresponsible, Playful and Humorless, Needy and Independent, Generous and Selfish

Negative Outcomes of Friction
Strained social interactions
Other family members being caught in the middle
Losing a sense of independence and voice
Arguments and fights
Estrangement
Stress and anxiety associated with keeping secrets
Losing the chance at a meaningful familial relationship
Failure to understand one’s heritage and future
Feelings of being misunderstood, unsupported, and rejected
Losing the chance to guide a loved one through life’s challenges 
Being unable to separate love from money
Losing the chance to be mentored through difficult times

Fictional Scenarios That Could Turn These Characters into Allies
The grandparent guiding the child through a challenge (school, friendships, romantic relationships, etc.)
The grandchild being adopted by the grandparent 
The grandparent needing the grandchild to help them with a project
The parties coming together to support or defy another loved one
Embarking on a trip or outing together
Helping one another through tragedy
Discovering a shared problem, such as a health issue or cultural challenge

Ways This Relationship May Lead to Positive Change
A grandparent who was not the best parent having a second chance at their role
The two learning and growing from each other’s perspectives and experiences
Finding satisfaction and purpose through investing time in the relationship
A grandchild learning to accept wisdom and guidance from an older family member
A child feeling valuable and full of potential
Either party learning to compromise
The relationship serving as a bridge for other strained relationships within the family

Themes and Symbols That Can Be Explored through This Relationship
Coming of age, Death, Endings, Family, Friendship, Health, Hope, Illness, Inflexibility, Innocence, Journeys, Loss, Love

Other Relationship Thesaurus entries can be found here.

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