Hey, wonderful writerly people! It’s time for our monthly first-page critique contest 🙂
This contest is closed. See you next month!
If you’re working on a first page (in any genre except erotica) and would like some objective feedback, please leave a comment. Any comment :). As long as the email address associated with your WordPress account/comment profile is up-to-date, I’ll be able to contact you if your first page is chosen. Just please know that if I’m unable to get in touch with you through that address, you’ll have to forfeit your win.
Two caveats:
▪ Please be sure your first page is ready to go so I can critique it before next month’s contest rolls around. If it needs some work and you won’t be able to get it to me right away, let me ask that you plan on entering the next contest, once any necessary tweaking has been taken care of. Resources for common problems writers encounter in their opening pages can be found here.
▪ This contest only runs for 24 hours, start to finish, so get your comment in there!
Three commenters’ names will be randomly drawn and posted tomorrow morning. If you win, you can email me your first page and I’ll offer my feedback.
We run this contest on a monthly basis, so if you’d like to be notified when the next opportunity comes around, consider subscribing to our blog (see the left-hand sidebar).
Best of luck!
PS: If you want to amp up your first page, grab our helpful First Pages checklist from One Stop for Writers. And for more instruction on these important opening elements, see this Mother Lode of First Page Resources.
Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.
Alrighty! The winners for September are Autumn Perales, Jessica Swafford, and Haley DelPlato. I wish I could choose all of you, truly—especially those of you whose names I see pop up repeatedly. Please keep entering! Perseverance usually does pay off :).
See you next month!
Ooo! That time again and I shall try again 😊
That would be so incredibly helpful! Thanks for such a generous offer.
What a great idea, I’d love for you to read mine, please.
I’d be so grateful for an objective set of eyes on my first page! Thanks for the chance!
Becca, I would love for you to read the first page of my current POV. Apologies if this comment is late, and outside of the 24 hours (I’m on Aussie time)
I’d love to have my first page critiqued. Thanks for offering to do them!
Yes. I would love to have some feedback on my first page.
Thank you so much for this opportunity! 🙂 I hope I’m picked…
Would love and greatly appreciate your feedback! (:
Would love to have you take a look!
Trying again, would love another set of eyes on my first page.
Thanks for all of your hard work!
She didn’t want to answer.
I would love to have feedback on my first page before I go to a writing conference next month! Thank you for the opportunity. 🙂
Thank you for the opportunity!
Would love some help with my first page! thanks, x Jessie
What a great opportunity! Fingers crossed.
My first page is sooooo ready to have some new eyeballs on it!
Thanks for offering this opportunity again! Would love to have eyes on my first page!
My first time entering this contest!
Would love to win – one of these days, I just might! Thanks for hosting these contests!!
Thank you for the chance! Would love to win!
I would love the opportunity!!
Thanks for the possible opportunity!
I’d love a critique. I’m in!
Would love to have you critique my first page, if possible! Thanks for this opportunity.
I love this contest!
Love your posts. Would love a first page critique!
Cool–I hope my name is among the 3!
It’s fall. Can you believe it? It’s great writing weather. I’m getting excited for NaNoWriMo!
I would be so grateful for you to read my first page!!! Please pick me!
Cathy
Excited for this month’s contest! Would love another set of eyes on my first page 🙂
“Mom, it happened again.” Tears poured from her face as she slowly picked things up from the local supermarket. “I’ve lost so many friends this way. No mom I don’t think they’d understand. How do you explain to a group of people that you’ve only known what… A month? That you’re easily angered and throw tantrums because you can’t control your own reactions to simple situations.” Her arm crossing over her face as she choked on the air leaving her lungs to make more room for tears. “Please, come get me. No, they didn’t wait! Why would they? I was a total spazzy bitch.”
It was only a month yes. But they, the five friends she made, strolled behind her at a distance which not to disturb her but still eavesdrop on her phone call. They shared worried glances. Why would they leave her? They weren’t exactly being easy about the way they played, and she is a newer friend and they should’ve been more mindful.
“I knew… I knew I should’ve stopped this. Mom, I tried so hard this time. I just wanted friends like a normal 20 year old.” She squatted against the outside wall, voice muffled in the sleeve of her oversized hoodie. “Yeah… I’m fine now. Mm, the one off Spring. Okay.” She hung up shoving the phone into the pocket of the hoodie. Both hands covering her face she groaned loudly causing Lyrik to let out a chuckle. The startled Rhythm flinched and looked up.
“Hey.” His voice sounded like rain hitting the roof of a house after a drought. But also like a breeze in a field of flowers, simply Rhythm loved the sound of his voice. Lyrik was like the lead singer of the band expect this wasn’t a band and Rhythm was at least 87% sure they didn’t sing. “So we kinda heard everything…” He said rubbing the back of his neck in guilt. “We didn’t intend to listen in but we did.” The other four stood in the background and looked on somberly. “We didn’t know. You could’ve told us though. I mean we may act like a group of dumbasses but we are kinda smart and we care.” He sat next to her, his face directly in the line of the sun. His skin was so clear and Rhythm swore the sun light got brighter just for him.
“About me?”
“Yes, silly. We came with you and we won’t leave without you. We don’t abandon friends.” He put his hand out waiting for Rhythm to take it. She looked at it, she’s never held anyone’s hand especially not a guys hand.
“Wanna go grab lunch? We were thinking Chili’s.” Melody chimed in. Her voice sounded like her name soft and singsong. Lyrik and Melody have been friends since 5th grade. Pretty much going everywhere together. Rhythm danced with the idea that they were dating at first but Melody isn’t into guys or girls really shes romantic but asexual. She loves love as long as it’s not directed towards her. Rhythm looked up at her as she leans over Lyrik. Her short light brown hair falling to one side and her greyish blue eyes shimmering in the sun.