Successful stories are driven by authentic and interesting characters, so it’s important to craft them carefully. But characters don’t usually exist in a vacuum; throughout the course of your story, they’ll live, work, play, and fight with other cast members. Some of those relationships are positive and supportive, pushing the protagonist to positive growth and helping them achieve their goals. Other relationships do exactly the opposite, derailing your character’s confidence and self-worth or they cause friction and conflict that leads to fallout and disruption. Many relationships hover somewhere in the middle. A balanced story will require a mix of these dynamics.
The purpose of this thesaurus is to encourage you to explore the kinds of relationships that might be good for your story and figure out what each might look like. Think about what a character needs (good and bad), and build a network of connections for him or her that will challenge them, showcase their innermost qualities, and bind readers to their relationship trials and triumphs.
Stepparent and Stepchild
Description:
Many factors play into the dynamics of the stepparent/stepchild relationship. The child’s age and receptiveness to the stepparent will have a lot of impact. Similarly, the stepparent’s willingness to fill a parental role, their experience with children, and their relationships with the child’s biological parents can all determine how things play out. This relationship is anything but simple, making it fertile ground for plot and character development.
Relationship Dynamics
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict.
A stepparent and stepchild who deeply fulfill relationship needs for each another
A stepparent who pursues harmony with the stepchild’s biological parent for the benefit of the child
A stepchild who is treated the same as the stepparent’s biological child
A stepparent filling a void for a child who has no relationship with their biological parent
A stepparent who fully embraces their role, regardless of the child’s feelings toward them
A stepparent being introduced into the life of a young adult child—smoothly, without much upheaval
A stepparent who tries to be the stepchild’s friend more than their parent
A reluctant stepparent who is playing the role of father or mother out of obligation
A stepparent whose efforts are largely controlled and limited by their spouse or the child’s other biological parent
A child rejecting any notion of a relationship with the stepparent
An apathetic stepparent who is more interested in gaining a spouse than being a mom or dad
One party struggling to accept or love the other
A stepchild actively seeking to sabotage their stepparent’s success or marriage
An estranged relationship between the two
Challenges That Could Threaten The Status Quo
The stepchild becoming injured or ill on the stepparent’s watch
The stepparent separating from or divorcing the child’s biological parent
A situation in which one of the two parties is lying, forcing the biological parent to choose who to believe
The stepparent and biological parent having a child of their own
The death of the stepchild’s biological parent
The stepparent needing to relocate for work, resulting in a major move for the child
The teenaged child rebelling against the stepparent and rejecting their authority
One of the child’s parents dealing with mental illness or addiction
The stepchild being treated differently than the stepparent’s biological children
The stepchild being diagnosed with a physical, learning, or mental health difficulty that the stepparent doesn’t understand or accept
One of the stepparent’s biological children bullying or abusing the stepchild
The stepchild discovering a harmful secret about their stepparent
The stepparent abusing the child’s biological parent
The stepparent taking a work-from-home job, resulting in them being around all the time
The stepchild preferring the stepparent over their biological parent
Conflicting Desires that Can Impair the Relationship
One party wanting a close relationship while the other does not
The stepparent wanting to legally adopt a child who doesn’t want to be adopted
Either party wanting greater control than the other party is willing to yield
The stepchild wanting their biological parents to get back together
The stepparent not wanting to be a parent
The stepparent wanting the stepchild to live full-time with the other biological parent
Both parties wanting a monopoly on the attention of the biological parent/spouse
The stepchild wanting to become emancipated
Clashing Personality Trait Combinations
Controlling and Rebellious, Independent and Needy, Nurturing and Withdrawn, Responsible and Uncooperative, Persuasive and Weak-Willed, Trusting and Manipulative, Trustworthy and Dishonest, Abrasive and Oversensitive
Negative Outcomes of Friction
One person forcing someone else to make a choice between people
Decreased trust
Feeling caught in the middle of competing interests and alliances
The stepparent and biological parent divorcing
Legal battles over custody and parental rights
Either party feeling like they can’t be completely honest or true to who they are
Anxiety and stress in the home
Arguments and fights
Domestic violence or abuse
The child pulling away from their biological parent
The child escaping a tense or unhappy home and looking for comfort in unhealthy relationships
The child running away from home
Estrangement
The child not being made a priority and experience neglect (in their education, their emotional development, etc.)
Fictional Scenarios That Could Turn These Characters into Allies
The stepparent advocating for the child’s needs
The two people standing up to an abusive or toxic third-party
The child becoming a big brother or sister to a new sibling
The child’s biological parent no longer being in the picture (through death, physical distance, abandonment, etc.), and the stepparent being able to fill the void
The stepparent helping the child reach an important goal
The two parties discovering a common interest or passion
Ways This Relationship May Lead to Positive Change
Increased trust and a widened support circle
Discovering that family can be found outside of genetic ties
Learning to embrace different views and parenting methods
The stepparent strengthening the bond between the child and their biological parent
One party learning and growing from the insight and experience of the other
Learning to put aside personal differences for the welfare of the family unit
The stepparent having the chance to do things differently with this family and not repeat the mistakes they made the first time around
Themes and Symbols That Can Be Explored through This Relationship
Alienation, Beginnings, Betrayal, Coming of age, Depression, Endings, Family, Health, Hope, Illness, Inflexibility, Innocence, Instability, Journeys, Loss, Love, Passage of time, Rebellion, Refuge, Sacrifice, Teamwork, Unity, Vulnerability
Other Relationship Thesaurus entries can be found here.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed, the rest of our descriptive collection (15 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.