Relationship Thesaurus Entry: Fling

Successful stories are driven by authentic and interesting characters, so it’s important to craft them carefully. But characters don’t usually exist in a vacuum; throughout the course of your story, they’ll live, work, play, and fight with other cast members. Some of those relationships are positive and supportive, pushing the protagonist to positive growth and helping them achieve their goals. Other relationships do exactly the opposite—derailing your character’s confidence and self-worth—or they cause friction and conflict that leads to fallout and disruption. Many relationships hover somewhere in the middle. A balanced story will require a mix of these dynamics.

The purpose of this thesaurus is to encourage you to explore the kinds of relationships that might be good for your story and figure out what each might look like. Think about what a character needs (good and bad), and build a network of connections for him or her that will challenge them, showcase their innermost qualities, and bind readers to their relationship trials and triumphs.

Description: A fling is a casual, sexual relationship between two people. Unlike one-night stands, a fling is more than one encounter, but wouldn’t be considered an affair because it lacks emotional attachment. Flings generally happen between two people who want something fun and ‘in the moment’ rather than to invest in each other with the intent of building something more.

Relationship Dynamics:
Below are a wide range of dynamics that may accompany this relationship. Use the ideas that suit your story and work best for your characters to bring about and/or resolve the necessary conflict.

A relationship based upon physical attraction and sexual desires
Choosing a partner who is fun in bed but not “marriage material”
Enjoying casual sexual encounters with no expectation of other involvement
Getting together only when the timing works out (often at the last minute)
Keeping conversation superficial to avoid getting too personal
Not discussing the future, just enjoying the present
Minimal contact between encounters
Making no commitments or demands

Conflicting Desires that Can Impair the Relationship
One person wanting to end things while the other does not
One partner pushing to try a committed relationship ‘to see what happens’
Wanting to expand the fling to include others but the partner does not


Clashing Personality Trait Combinations: Gossipy and Private, Apathetic and Passionate, Controlling and Timid, Mischievous and Humorless, Irrational and Sensible, Affectionate and Inhibited, Needy and Independent, Honest and Evasive

Negative Outcomes of Friction
Being unable to go back to a previous relationship before it became a fling
Arguments about whether to continue or end things
One party disclosing the fling to others without consulting their partner first

Fictional Scenarios That Could Turn These Characters into Allies
Mutually wanting to turn the fling into a committed relationship
A pregnancy
Both knowing this relationship could ruin lives if discovered

Ways This Relationship May Lead to Positive Change
Discovering layers of someone that go beyond what one previously knew
Getting to experience what clear boundaries are if this isn’t typical
Self-reflecting on one’s relationship choices to better understand what one wants

Themes and Symbols That Can Be Explored through This Relationship
A fall from grace, Betrayal, Coming of age, Crossroads, Deception, Depression, Freedom, Friendship, Hope, Innocence, Instability, Journeys, Loss, Love, Mystery, Pride, Purity, Rebellion, Recognition, Refuge, Religion, Stagnation, Transformation, Vanity, Vulnerability

Other Relationship Thesaurus entries can be found here.

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