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The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: Being Stalked

Sourced from The Emotional Wound Thesaurus

NOTES:
Stalkers are typically obsessed with their subjects, either out of a romantic interest, from the belief that the subjects have rejected or slighted them in some way, or due to another reason they themselves may not completely know or understand. Someone might be stalked…

EXAMPLES:
By a fan whose mail went unanswered
By a former business partner
By a student whose scholarship application was denied
By an artist whose work failed to win a contest or received a poor review
By an ex-lover
By an acquaintance whose romantic advances were rejected
By an unstable employee overlooked for a promotion
By someone suffering delusions of unrequited love
By a serial killer or rapist
By a deranged individual who develops an inexplicable fascination with a certain person
By someone who feels he was slighted, ignored, or under-appreciated in a specific way

BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND:
physiological needs, safety and security, long and belonging, self-actualization

LIES THAT MAY DEVELOP FOR CHARACTERS WITH THIS WOUND:
They caused this by encouraging the stalker in some way
If they hadn’t been so friendly (or turned her down for a date, etc.), this wouldn’t have happened
People know they’re weak and will always try to hurt them
Their judgment is flawed; they should have seen this person as a threat from the beginning
The authorities are powerless to help them
Trusting the good in people is naïve and dangerous
No place or person is truly safe

THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
For their life
That the stalker will get out of jail and seek revenge
That the stalking will never end (if it is ongoing)
Trusting the wrong person
Letting anyone get close in case they too become obsessed
That innocent family members or loved ones may be victimized by association

POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS:
Insomnia and fatigue
Loss of appetite
Isolating oneself; avoiding unnecessary social interactions
Avoiding social media or shutting down one’s accounts
Clinging to those one knows is safe
Relying on loved ones to make decisions due to doubting one’s discernment and judgment
Becoming overprotective of loved ones and pets
Becoming overly suspicious and paranoid
Developing a mental disorder like agoraphobia or depression
PTSD symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks, startling easily, irritability, etc.)
Difficulty focusing on everyday tasks
Making changes to throw off a stalker (moving, changing one’s name or appearance, etc.)
Becoming very concerned with personal safety
Self-medicating through food, alcohol, or drugs
Bouts of irrational self-blame
Engaging in critical self-assessment to discern what caused the attention
Shedding attributes one believes caused the stalking (e.g., trading friendliness for hostility)
Hypertension, gastrointestinal issues, sexual dysfunction, and other stress-related physical symptoms
Performing poorly at work or school
Giving up hobbies and activities that take one out of the home
Difficulty trusting others
Not talking to people or responding to casual friendliness
Avoiding romantic relationships
Weight gain or weight loss as a result of stress
Being unable to enjoy life fully or let go of worry
Being more alert and aware of one’s surroundings

POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES THAT MAY RESULT:
Alert, Appreciative, Cautious, Disciplined, Discreet, Empathetic, Focused, Independent, Nurturing, Observant, Private, Proactive, Protective, Resourceful, Sensible

NEGATIVE TRAITS THAT MAY RESULT:
Addictive, Confrontational, Controlling, Defensive, Hostile, Humorless, Impatient, Indecisive, Inflexible, Inhibited, Insecure, Irrational, Needy, Nervous, Nosy, Obsessive, Paranoid, Resentful, Self-Destructive, Subservient, Suspicious, Temperamental, Timid, Uncommunicative, Uncooperative, Violent, Volatile, Worrywart

TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND:
Having one’s picture taken
Seeing someone who looks like the stalker
A sensory trigger tied to one’s stalker (a certain song being hummed, the scent of roses, etc.)
Milestones (a holiday, an annual work party, etc.) that occurred at the time of the stalking

STEPS TOWARD HEALING:
Making safer choices and taking necessary precautions
Joining a self-defense class
Being more community-minded; extending security efforts to include everyone in one’s apartment building or neighborhood
Mentoring children or women with the end goal of empowering them

OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND:
Being put into the same situation that created one’s stalker in the first place (having to promote someone within the company, being asked out on a date and wanting to decline, etc.)
Learning that one’s stalker has been freed from jail
Getting into a relationship with someone who begins to exhibit possessiveness or jealousy
Discovering that a love interest has a history of domestic violence or emotional instability