For a reader to relate to the story’s action, they need a physical anchor to tie the characters to. But it can be difficult, finding the right words to convey a sense of place.
Settings come alive through description, and the right details can evoke emotion, drawing readers in. The following entry contains samples of the sights, smells, tastes, sounds, and textures associated with this location so you can weave them into your storytelling, thereby deepening the reader’s sensory experience.
Abandoned Mine
SIGHTS: Rough rock walls, thick cracked support beams (along sides & roof) every few meters down the shaft, dust, rick crumbles, dirt, debris blown in from outside (twigs, leaves, paper garbage/fliers), old broken pick handles, bits of chain, rusted nails/screws, old rails for carts, a rusted out/broken handcart, a forgotten hazard cone, broken or smashed in lunch box, pools of standing water, flooded areas…
SIGHTS: Echoes, boots on rock, accidentally kicking loose stone, creaking, shifting timber, dripping water, amplified sounds from outside through the rock (trucks driving by, construction, etc), heavier breathing…
SMELLS: Stale, moist air, cold stone, must, mildew, scummy standing water, sweat, dust (noxious gases: many mines have stores of gasses like Carbon monoxide or radon gas which do not have a smell…
TASTES: The tang of cold rock, saliva, sweat, grit in teeth
TOUCH: Cold, slippery rock, dry, rough work gloves rubbing against fingers, back pain from bent back to maneuver through the tight spaces, smacking head on a low ceiling, bashing/scraping knees as you crawl through low tunnels, the slip of perspiration down the back of the neck, skinning knuckles on rock…
Helpful Hints
The words you choose can convey atmosphere and mood.
Example 1: Janet handed me her flashlight as she pulled back the rotting plywood covering the shaft. The wood splintered as she chucked it into the dead scrub nearby, leaving a yawning black hole. I swung the beam toward it but the light barely pierced the gloom. This had been my idea, but suddenly my brain was filled with thoughts of homework and tests to study for. I glanced at Janet, who crossed her arms and gave me a knowing smirk. “You going first, or am I?”…
Similes and metaphors create strong imagery when used sparingly.
Example 1: (Metaphor) I secured the straps on the heavy, over sized miner’s hat for the tour but it was no use…I’d have an easier time juggling a brick on my head….
Other Setting Thesaurus entries can be found here.
Think beyond what a character sees, and provide a sensory feast for readers
This sample, along with the rest of the setting entries, has been expanded into a 2-book set. Together, the bestselling URBAN SETTING THESAURUS and RURAL SETTING THESAURUS volumes contain over 200 settings for you to choose from when creating memorable, compelling characters.
Each entry contains multi-sensory cues associated with the location, conflict options commonly found in the environment, instructive information on how to avoid setting-related infodumps, and examples of well-written descriptions that can reinforce emotion, characterize, foreshadow future events, and more.
For more information on this bestselling set of books and where they can be found, please visit our bookstore.
Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.
So interesting and useful. Thanks.
I love your post. Great example of descriptive words and how to use them.
Janice~
Shannon, Thanks so mich for your kind words. 🙂
PJ, this post is totally selfish. I have a MG that has a big part of the plot taking place in an abandoned mine. Glad it helps you too!
CR, thanks!
Bish, thanks so much! I really enjoy doing these.
I continue to be surprised. Reading your setting thesaurus is often like being at the setting!
another awesome post! You Rawk!
No freaking way. I have an old abandoned mine in my current WIP!
🙂
Fabulous examples! Your posts remind me of Alexander Pope and the poem, “Sound and Sense”. I love the way he tells us how to write, while showing us at the same time! That’s what you do. 😉