Our job as writers is to make the reader FEEL, empathizing with our characters, feeling invested in the outcome of events, and immersed in the story’s world. When a reader’s experience is emotional, it transcends mere entertainment and becomes something meaningful to them.
The best place to build empathy is through your characters. Through them, writers can tap into the reader’s memories, feelings, and life experiences. When readers see something familiar in a character—a sense of sameness—it creates a powerful connection. Suddenly, story moments don’t just belong to the character; they become a shared experience that draws the reader in and keeps them emotionally invested.
Sure, readers have probably never been terrorized by a serial killer, vampire, or demon in their own lives, but they know what it is to feel terror. Likewise, a roguish yet handsome highwayman has likely not pursued them in a roar of love and lust, yet they have experienced love and lust before.
As people, we experience a wide spectrum of emotions—sorrow, confusion, pride, fear, humiliation, satisfaction, dread, and more. As writers, it’s our job to bring those emotions to life through our characters. When we do it well, our words can stir something deep, sparking memories and emotions that feel personal and real to the reader.
Showing what a character feels can be difficult for writers. Here are 3 tips to help readers share the character’s emotional ride:
1) Prime your readers
Spend a bit of time early on showing what has led to your character’s emotional sensitivity. Let’s say themes of betrayal are key to your book & the character’s ‘dark moment.’ If you alluded to a past betrayal by the main character’s mother in a scene before this point, then your heroine seeing an old toy from her childhood will become an instant trigger for those past feelings.
2) Focus on what causes the emotional reaction
Sometimes, the most powerful way to spark emotion is to show what is triggering it. Take Alexa, for example—she’s crushing hard on Ethan, the boy next door, and is finally building the nerve to show him she wants more than friendship. But then she spots Jessica at his locker. The way Jessica touches his arm when she laughs, leans in a smidge too close, and casually plays with her necklace to draw his eyes downward… it says everything.
You don’t need to spell out Alexa’s thoughts or reactions—readers will feel her jealousy rising all on their own.
3) Think about how you might feel
If you are drawing a blank on how to show what your character is feeling, think about how the emotion you’re trying to describe makes you feel.
Dig into your past to a time you felt embarrassed, or angry, frustrated, excited…whichever emotion is the one your character is currently facing. What sort of thoughts went through your head? What did your body do? Did you openly show how you felt through gestures and body language, or did you try to hide it? Then, decide if some of your experience can be adapted to your character. Emotion is strongest when it comes from a place of truth.
For more tips on emotional show, not tell, dig out your Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.
Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.
Some good suggestions here!! You always have excellent posts!!
I’m dealing with two characters in love but denying it because each thinks the other is not interested. I’ve struggled with demonstrating this without bludgeoning the reader over the head with it.
After reading this, I feel kind of foolish about my struggle, particularly with the female lead’s POV since I actually went through this for a number of years with my late husband (of course unlike her, I was between the ages of 10 and 15).
Reading the article, particularly #3, I was taken back to those dreadful days and had a “slap myself on the forehead and say wow, why didn’t I think of that?” moment.
Thanks for the help!
Don’t feel foolish–I am just glad this post triggered something for you, and hopefully it will get easier now 🙂
This is a nice little article, Angela. I found it very helpful, however I’m currently tackling a bit of a similar issue with one of my lead characters. I’m a guy and my lead is also a guy who has to have this breakdown moment. One of the things I want to make sure I get right is to share his deepest feelings with a) the reader and b) the female lead.
However, like most men, I don’t have alot of experience with tapping into this well without making the male lead come off like a weakling or soft.
Since your article is written from the female POV, do you have any tips for a male one?
I think the same advice can be applied, with some tweaking. With men, a lot of their painful feelings come from believing they have failed somehow–they are very role-driven. As people, it is human nature for us to internalize, to blame ourselves for painful events even when it is illogical to do so. A man whose wife is killed in a robbery right in front of him will torture himself over what he should have done, how he should have protected her, saved her, acted. He didn’t shoot her, didn’t hold the gun, wasn’t logically able to be in a position to prevent what happened, but still, that self-blame is there. So in your case, look at your character’s wound, as I am guessing this is what is causing a breakdown moment. Think about how the character feels they have failed. His thoughts regarding his role of failure, illogical and flawed, will draw readers in and show his brokenness and distraught. With another character, so much depends on their relationship, and his range of emotional expression. Is he reserved, or expressive in general? What is his comfort zone–to be near people when emotionally distressed, or to create space?
If he is on the “hides what he feels” scale, think about body posture, small ways you can reveal hints of insecurity through “not typical” body language to show his distress. Try mannerisms he’s unusually in control of, uncharacteristic vulnerability hints you can seed in what he says…these can reveal his inner turmoil. Men who are in charge don’t ask for reassurance, they don’t ask for advice, they don’t do check-ins regarding decisions and actions…unless they are insecure. Again, maybe you can play with that. I hope this helps!
Thanks Angela! You’ve given me a lot to think about!
Thanks for this answer, Angela! I need this for my male MC at a crisis, too!