Fear Thesaurus: Being a Burden to Others

Debilitating fears are a problem for everyone, an unfortunate part of the human experience. Whether they’re a result of learned behavior as a child, are related to a mental health condition, or stem from a past wounding event, these fears influence a character’s behaviors, habits, beliefs, and personality traits. The compulsion to avoid what they fear will drive characters away from certain people, events, and situations and hold them back in life. 

In your story, this primary fear (or group of fears) will constantly challenge the goal the character is pursuing, tempting them to retreat, settle, and give up on what they want most. Because this fear must be addressed for them to achieve success, balance, and fulfillment, it plays a pivotal part in both character arc and the overall story.

This thesaurus explores the various fears that might be plaguing your character. Use it to understand and utilize fears to fully develop your characters and steer them through their story arc. Please note that this isn’t a self-diagnosis tool. Fears are common in the real world, and while we may at times share similar tendencies as characters, the entry below is for fiction writing purposes only.

The Fear of Being a Burden to Others

Notes
A character who doesn’t want to put their needs—emotional, mental, physical, etc.—on others can develop a fear of becoming a burden to the people in their lives. This can become problematic when the character needs help but doesn’t seek or accept it, or when they shut themselves off from everyone else, trying to be completely self-reliant.

What It Looks Like
Valuing autonomy and independence
Being a hard worker
The character doing things themselves instead of asking for help
Always putting on a happy face; downplaying their own difficulties
Rejecting monetary gifts
Helping others in need but not accepting help for themselves
Always paying their own way (for a meal, clothing, college tuition, etc.)
Appearing private or standoffish
Cleaning up after themselves (washing their own dishes, throwing away trash, etc.)
Declining assistance for projects or tasks
Being a caretaker for younger siblings or friends
Putting other people’s needs before their own
Only letting people get so close; keeping them at an emotional distance
Hiding illnesses, injuries, financial difficulties, etc., from others
Looking ahead and planning carefully so the character’s affairs are in order and they won’t be a burden to others
Being a difficult patient

Common Internal Struggles
Always being burdened with a heavy weight of responsibility
Needing help but not being able to ask for it
Struggling with perfectionism
Feeling isolated 
Feeling worthless or like a failure if they need help from others
Fearing growing old and losing autonomy
Thinking unkindly of people who do rely on others

Flaws That May Emerge
Dishonest, Inhibited, Perfectionist, Stubborn, Subservient, Uncommunicative, Uncooperative

Hindrances and Disruptions to the Character’s Life
Having to deal with difficulties on their own
Being viewed by others as stubborn and difficult
Trading companionship and community for self-reliance
Burning out emotionally or physically
Suffering an injury or breakdown and having no one to help
Suffering needlessly because the character refused to accept help

Scenarios That Might Awaken This Fear
The character going through something traumatic with no one to support them
Developing a condition that requires a caretaker
Aging and requiring support from loved ones
Falling on hard times and having to accept charity
A conversation with a friend that provides an opportunity for the character to share something emotionally heavy
Seeing someone who was strong and resilient having to be cared for by others
An event that threatens the character’s financial security (being laid off, making a bad investment, being scammed, etc.)

Other Fear Thesaurus entries can be found here.

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