When it comes to generating conflict, your character’s personality can help ensure that sparks fly, especially when their traits clash with someone else’s.
When people grate on one another their interactions become filled with misunderstandings, power struggles, one-upmanship, and impatience. Whether allies, enemies, or something in between, contrasting viewpoints and attitudes sharpen dialogue, and if tempers flare too far, friction can become all-out conflict.
And guess what–we want these escalations to happen! They keep relationships from getting stale, add plot complications, and keep the pace moving. So bring on those clashes, problems, and fallout, I say. Let characters get under each other’s skin. When people get along, it sucks the tension out of your story faster than a three hundred year old vampire enjoying a human buffet.
There are many ways to create friction– characters could have opposing goals, be competing for the same thing, or have opposite ideas about the path forward. These setups can all work, but only if they don’t come off like a plot device. For readers to see friction as natural, not manufactured, it needs to come from within the characters. An easy way to do this is to let their opposing personalities do the work.
Leaning into Opposites
The low-hanging fruit of clashing personalities is to play with opposites. Methodical and impulsive. Proper and flamboyant. Perfectionistic and lazy. These combinations can be fun to write while juicing interactions with friction. To find trait combos that will cause natural friction, check out these lists from the Positive Trait Thesaurus and the Negative Trait Thesaurus.
Is your character an obsessive rule follower afraid to step outside his comfort zone? Have him be swept up in friendship with someone spontaneous and a bit rebellious. Or is a coworker stealing the credit for your protagonist’s hard work, but she won’t speak up for herself? Pair her with a new cubicle-mate who has confidence in spades and a vengeful streak that ensures all wrongs will be put right.
Opposite traits can be negative, positive, or one of each. It’s all up to you. And, with a bit of extra thought, opposing traits can serve an even deeper purpose: to spotlight a character flaw that’s holding your protagonist back.
Introduce a Character Foil
A character foil is someone whose traits contrast with the protagonist’s, either in big, obvious ways or through a few key differences. This contrast helps readers see how the protagonist is navigating life differently, and maybe it’s not going so well for them.
When a foil character exhibits traits the protagonist lacks (but needs), it creates a mirror moment. The protagonist starts to see their flaws more clearly, and that realization can become a turning point in their character arc. If they want to move forward, something has to change.
Double Down on the Same Trait
Another method is to give two characters the same trait: controlling and controlling, manipulative and manipulative, idealistic x 2. Positive or toxic, characters with identical traits tend to cause the relationship pot to boil, and soon, the battle royale for dominance is on.
Clashing Traits Don’t Always Mean Fireworks
Sometimes writers get a bit too excited over creating relationship tension, as it can lead to some spectacular clashes. Realistically, though, friction is more about getting under each other’s skin just enough to behave like a passive-aggressive jerk.
When irritated, characters may get snarky in their responses, offer backhanded compliments, or deliver a narrow, you’re so stupid stare. Decisions in the moment can be emotion-driven, too. Maybe they withhold advice, information, help or even share a half-truth, knowing it will mess up the other’s plans. My point is, have fun with your friction, especially if it leads to well-deserved consequences!
Also, Friction Isn’t Always Negative
Not all friction is hostile. It can come from navigating healthy boundaries that characters aren’t used to. It can be a part of the learning curve of new cultures and customs. Even people who want the same thing must figure out how to work together, encountering friction through trial and error.
In romance, attraction creates tension. And much of what makes chemistry sizzle on the page is emotional friction—conflicting desires, fears, and how each handles vulnerability.
Friction happens in friendships, family dynamics, the workplace, and other relationships. Whenever two people are wired differently, there’s an opportunity for tension. Unravelling the ‘why’ behind it is what readers show up for.
Choose a Character’s Personality Traits Carefully
While it might seem like a fun way to add drama, clashing traits shouldn’t be assigned without thought. Each character’s personality is a unique window into who they are, where they came from, and the people and experiences they were exposed to before your story began. Credible characters have traits that make sense for their unique history–that’s a big part of what makes them authentic to readers.
If you’d like to understand more about personality traits and how to choose the right ones for a character, give this a read. Happy writing!
What clashing personality traits have you woven into your relationships? Let me know in the comments!
Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.
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