How to Use Hidden Experiences to Pull Readers In

No matter who your protagonist is—a formidable galactic emperor, a morally complex teenager, or the retiree down the street with too many cats—readers must find something fundamentally relatable about them, something that resonates with their own human experience. This causes them to feel bonded to the character in a way they didn’t expect, and we need that to happen to get them invested in the story.

Tapping into our reader’s psyche to pull on their emotions is essential. Often writers focus on likeability, giving a character admirable traits, a passion, or a noble mission that readers can get behind. But the secret sauce is something more subtle yet nuanced: emotional common ground.

Tell me, do these experiences seem familiar?

• Not knowing what to do
• Making a mistake
• Regretting a choice
• Trying and failing
• Wanting to quit
• Needing to hide disappointment
• Being unsure as to how to ask for help
• Recognizing a truth too late
• Knowingly doing the wrong thing
• Pretending to be okay
• Feeling taken advantage of
• Having no good options

These are emotionally challenging moments common to us all, ones that stick with us due to the discomfort and vulnerability they cause. When we feel exposed, it’s human nature to keep those feelings to ourselves (this is especially true of deep emotional wounds). As a result, they often become hidden experiences—things we go through that stir deep emotions but are rarely shared or discussed.

Hidden experiences are interesting because while we can feel utterly alone when they happen, if we realize someone else is going through the same thing, our first response is to experience empathy and feel a desire to help. In fiction, hidden experiences can be a goldmine. If a character goes through something that makes them feel threatened, exposed, or inadequate, readers will instantly recognize it. Even better, a kinship forms because they know what it’s like to be in that character’s emotional shoes.

Where to Use Hidden Experiences

While it’s not exactly enjoyable to face life’s challenges—especially when we don’t handle them as well as we’d hope—the silver lining is that we can use those experiences to our advantage in fiction. Giving readers a front-row seat to a character’s vulnerability, insecurities, and struggles is a powerful way to foster empathy and make them invested in what happens next. To get the best mileage from a hidden experience, think about points in a story where reinforcing common ground makes the most sense. A few ideas… 

Moral Dilemmas

Navigating conflicting morals or values is never simple or easy. When a character wrestles with a moral problem, they instinctively turn inward, reasoning through their options. This process will draw the reader in, especially as they recognize that whatever the character decides, it will say something about who they are. A solution is never perfect, either, meaning a consequence or cost, which is also relatable. Whenever something important is at stake—like a person’s identity—readers can’t help but think about what they would do in the same situation and be reminded of similar moral struggles they’ve faced in their own lives.

Relationship Friction

Humans are social creatures, and we invest in certain relationships. Try as we might to pretend otherwise, we do care what certain people think, and we want to belong. This is why characters experiencing difficulties in a relationship—a partner constantly putting work first, parents who love conditionally, a daughter who is growing more distant—pull on a reader’s heartstrings. It’s easy to relate to the desire to erase tension, a gnawing sense of unfairness, or how it feels to have a relationship-based need going unmet.

Temptation

What makes a moral dilemma or tough choice even more difficult? The presence of temptation—to take the easy road, offload a problem onto someone else, give into a bad habit, or be untruthful about what’s transpiring.

Temptation is a great hidden experience to use because all readers have been lured by its song. Everyone has felt the pull to justify their actions even knowing they are wrong. They also very likely have experienced the cost of giving in to temptation, so while they will root for a character to resist, they will be somewhat sympathetic if it goes the other way, too.

TIP: These forms of hidden experiences–Moral Dillemmas, Relationship Friction, and Temptations–are covered in depth in our writing guide, The Conflict Thesaurus, Volume 1.

Connect Hidden Experiences to the Fabric of Your Story

Life can be painful, so we all have a lot of real-world hidden experiences on our bingo card. But this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be choosy about which ones we write into the story. Sure, readers can relate to a protagonist’s shame and guilt at being caught in a lie, but if their choice to do so has no real bearing on the story or character’s arc, it won’t land right with readers.

For hidden experiences to juice your story with meaning, think about where the plot needs to go, the lessons your character needs to learn, and what common internal suffering will be the perfect fit to make the character’s situation more relatable and poignant to readers.

Don’t Hold Back

Some of you might find it hard to poke your character’s soft spots, but I promise you, the payoff is huge! Not only are you building powerful points of connection between characters and your audience, but you also ensure they become deeply invested in the story’s resolution. Readers want to see good things happen for the people they care about, especially those who have endured familiar trials and struggles.