Coping Mechanism Thesaurus Entry: Asking for Help

When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.

But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their ability to handle life’s pressures.

At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.

To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping mechanisms. The one we’re highlighting today can help your character better manage painful emotions and stress. Use this partial entry to show readers the character is choosing more productive strategies that will build resilience.

Asking for Help

Definition

Opening up to others about a personal situation and requesting support.

What It May Look Like

Asking someone to meet up to talk
Reaching out to someone from the past who was there for the character before
The character offering a compliment: “You give such great advice,” or “You always provide good perspective,” in hopes of being asked if they need to talk
Being truthful when someone asks, “How are you?”
Taking the Band-Aid approach: “So, I did something stupid and need a lawyer. Yes, it’s that bad…can you help me?”

Internal Struggles

Knowing they need help but not wanting to be viewed as incompetent or weak
Being self-sufficient to a fault (so struggling with feeling indebted to another)
Harboring resentment at having to ask for help as they believe the situation that led to this was unjust or unfair
Knowing that taking steps to get help means having to face some difficult truths

Challenges That Will Test the Character

Not agreeing with the ‘helpful’ approach, but not being in a position to argue, either
Feeling judged or doubted (but knowing that it’s earned due to past actions)
Having to ask someone for help who will expect something in return
Needing to swallow their pride because other people told the character they couldn’t handle the situation alone, and they were right

Basic Human Needs It Could Fill

Physiological Needs: Getting help when the situation is dire could mean the difference between surviving and perishing.
Safety and Security: In a crisis, seeking assistance can pave the way to safety and security, thereby restoring this essential need.
Love and Connection: When a character asks for help, it allows others the opportunity to show affection and love, being there for them in a moment of need. Tackling problems together strengthens relationships on both sides.

Need More Descriptive Help?

While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.

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