When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their resiliency in handling life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and they need to seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping methods. The one we’re highlighting today can be damaging, and we hope this partial entry will help you show your character’s struggle in a way readers can relate to.
Denial
Definition
Refusing to accept facts or reality to avoid painful truths. This can apply to past events or current truths that are unpleasant, upsetting, or frightening.
What It May Look Like
Creating a fantasy version of unpleasant memories, and believing this is how they happened
Becoming agitated or angry when certain subjects are brought up
Avoiding people who continue to bring up the truth
Rationalizing unhealthy behavior (their own or someone else’s), thereby denying a problem exists
Blaming others, so the character can pretend there isn’t an internal issue to address
Basic Human Needs It Could Compromise
Love and Connection: Refusing to manage their problem or face the truth can create friction in important relationships. The character’s denial may even cause them to push away people who speak the truth.
Safety and Security: Denial of physical problems will only make them worsen, and not accepting a known truth can create mental health issues that can impair the character’s health.
Fallout (and Possible Turning Points)
Feeling powerless, as if they’re incapable of dealing with the problem
A relationship falling apart because the character fails to acknowledge how they’re contributing to its failure
A physical or mental condition worsening when the character refuses to seek treatment
Experiencing a crisis due to fallout from ignoring a personal problem (getting fired, beating someone up, etc.)
Medical problems from high cortisol produced by long-term stress
Commitment to Change
Replacing negative coping mechanisms with positive ones is how your character turns the page, but it starts with internal work, new habits, and practices:
Recognizing that their response isn’t healthy, and wanting to change
Listening to the internal voice trying to tell them the truth or that the way they’re remembering events isn’t quite right
Engaging a therapist to help them cope
To help you brainstorm your character’s responses to stress, visit our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
If you like, swing by and check out the video walkthrough for this site, then give our Free Trial a spin.
5 Comments.
Thanks a lot for your answer. I take this opportunity for wishing you the best for 2026 !
All your entries are interesting and it would be so helpful if they were published in a book but also if the translation in French followed quickly ! Yes,although reading in English, I’m writing in French ! How make your editor in France understand this. I think only the “Thésarus des Emotions” (which I possess) has come out. Thank you for pushing them !
I’m so glad to hear you’re enjoying this thesaurus, Danièle! We’re test-driving it right now, and if people seem to like it, we might turn it into a book one day.
Regarding the French publications, we do have a publisher working on translating most of our books into French, and the good news is that most of them have already been published. If you run a search for the Emotion Thesaurus at Amazon.fr, the other books in our series will come up, too. And you can always see which books in the series have been published in your preferred language (and which ones are coming) on our Foreign Editions page.
Oh, I cannot wait for this to become a book!! I’ve been teaching my students about character development, and the behaviours that arise from the character’s lie seems to be where they have the most trouble.
I always recommend your Thesaurus series, especially the Emotion Thesaurus, as it’s proven to be my personal character bible, but a Coping Mechanism Thesaurus would fill that gap. I often use the example of the biker with a soft gooey core, or the hotshot money manager with a Lamborghini who really wants his dad’s approval, even though Dad’s been dead for years. The behaviours we choose to show the world are many and varied, and a thesaurus that lists them and how they help the character avoid his pain would be invaluable.
Thank you for all you do.
Bev, I am so thrilled you’re enjoying this thesaurus! It is a missing piece, for sure, and understanding how our characters behavior in conjunction to stress and triggers really adds that level of realism and connection, I think.
Thank you so much for recommending our books! We appreciate that so much, as the more we can help, the better. The world needs great stories, and readers need to read about and connect with characters who have similar struggles. 🙂