When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their resiliency in handling life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and they need to seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping methods. The one we’re highlighting today can be damaging, and we hope this partial entry will help you show your character’s struggle in a way readers can relate to.
Negative Self-Talk
Definition
Entertaining negative self-thoughts or actively belittling, criticizing, or running oneself down
What It May Look Like
Mentally repeating negative mantras
Having a binary mindset (viewing themselves as good or bad or a result as successful or a failure)
Holding themselves to unrealistic expectations
Catastrophizing events
Insecurity
Struggling with romantic relationships because they don’t think they deserve love
Basic Human Needs It Could Compromise
Love and Connection: A character who doesn’t love themselves will often have trouble loving others in healthy ways. And true connection will be difficult if the character believes they’re unworthy or uncapable of love.
Safety and Security: Extremely negative self-talk could cause the character to have little regard for their own physical safety and well-being.
Fallout (and Possible Turning Points)
A friend or partner calling them out on their constant self-sabotage
Their internal negativity harming a loved one—e.g., failing them in some way because the character didn’t think they were needed
Extreme anxiety or panic causing them to freeze or break down in public
Commitment to Change
Joining a faith group or becoming part of an uplifting community
Identifying areas of strength and engaging in activities that utilize them
Volunteering with people the character can help
To help you brainstorm your character’s responses to stress, visit our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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