When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their ability to handle life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping mechanisms. The one we’re highlighting today can help your character better manage painful emotions and stress. Use this partial entry to show readers the character is choosing more productive strategies that will build resilience.
Seeking Balance
Definition
Adjusting priorities to prevent overwhelm or neglect in work, relationships, self-care, and other life domains.
What It May Look Like
Cultivating hobbies
Going to bed early to get a full night’s sleep—plus a little time to read first
Calling or texting someone they haven’t connected with for a while
Prioritizing family dinners together
Cooking a healthy meal instead of eating out
Internal Struggles
Wanting to be seen as the “go-to” guy or gal, but being unable to do it all
Feeling like they’re neglecting family while working and neglecting work when they’re with family
Needing more time off but worrying about how it will look or if they can afford it
Challenges That Will Test the Character
Starting a new workout routine, then sustaining an injury
An employer or client pushing back when the character tries to negotiate a more balanced work schedule
External stress tempting the character back into old numbing habits
Basic Human Needs It Could Fill
- Love and Connection: Balance often means making room for relationships that have been neglected, repairing strained bonds and deepening intimacy.
- Physiological Needs: When balance includes prioritizing sleep, nutrition, exercise, or rest, it supports physical health and can lead to a longer life.
For help brainstorming your character’s responses to stress, see our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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