When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their resiliency in handling life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and they need to seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping methods. The one we’re highlighting today can be damaging, and we hope this partial entry will help you show your character’s struggle in a way readers can relate to.
Overindulging
Definition
Using food, shopping, drinking, sex, or other pleasurable activities to escape discomfort. These habits typically aren’t bad, but when they’re used to dull pain or are abused in an attempt to feel good or find happiness, they become unhealthy substitutes for healthy practices that would bring about healing and well-being.
What It May Look Like
Hiding purchases from others (using a new credit card, paying with cash, stashing items in a secret place, etc.)
Avoiding conflict, confrontation, and uncomfortable conversations
Impulsivity; difficulty delaying gratification
Lacking self-control in the area of their temptation (while possibly being very controlled in other areas)
Needing more over time to fill the void
Basic Human Needs It Could Compromise
Esteem and Recognition: Overindulgence, especially if it must be done in private, perpetuates feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing, making the character feel worse about themselves.
Safety and Security: Over time, habits like these that are taken to an extreme can create serious mental and physical health risks for the character.
Fallout (and Possible Turning Points)
Developing a serious physical health condition
Facing a financial crisis due to overspending (losing their home, declaring bankruptcy, etc.)
Being given an ultimatum by a partner
Commitment to Change
Seeking help to face the uncomfortable feelings they’re trying to escape
Celebrating small victories with healthy rewards
Phasing out relationships that encourage the character’s unhealthy behaviors
For help brainstorming your character’s responses to stress, see our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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