When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their resiliency in handling life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and they need to seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping methods. The one we’re highlighting today can be damaging, and we hope this partial entry will help you show your character’s struggle in a way readers can relate to.
Dissociation
Definition
Subconsciously detaching from reality when threatened with psychological pain or overwhelm. For example, someone undergoing an intense medical procedure may mentally separate from their body to create emotional distance; then they can observe themselves and endure the experience from an outside, safer perspective. This mechanism is typically born from trauma, especially when it occurs in childhood and adolescence.
What It May Look Like
Feeling detached from their environment, as if it isn’t real
Feeling, at times, as if they’re watching themselves from outside their body
Being unable to remember past events
Often being accused of not listening or paying attention (because they’ve mentally checked out)
Disconnecting when conflict or a confrontation arises
Losing track of time during stressful moments; struggling to recall them clearly
Basic Human Needs It Could Compromise
Esteem and Recognition: Confidence and self-respect are bolstered by successfully navigating difficult circumstances. Both are hard to find for a character who is unable to face challenges head-on and resolve them.
Safety and Security: This mechanism can make it hard for the character to think logically and escape danger; it may protect them emotionally in frightening moments but may subject them to situations that create lasting physical and emotional harm.
Fallout (and Possible Turning Points)
The dissociation leading them to accidentally hurt themselves or someone else
Loved ones losing patience with the character’s inattention
Commitment to Change
Replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms with positive ones is how your character turns the page, but it starts with internal work, new habits, and practices:
Working with a therapist to uncover the trauma at the root of this mechanism
Learning breathing techniques to calm the nervous system
For help brainstorming your character’s responses to stress, see our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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