When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their ability to handle life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping mechanisms. The one we’re highlighting today can help your character better manage painful emotions and stress. Use this partial entry to show readers the character is choosing more productive strategies that will build resilience.
Practicing Gratitude
Definition
Deliberately noticing and appreciating the good in one’s life, circumstances, or relationships.
What It May Look Like
Appreciating what they’re seeing and experiencing in the moment
Reaching out with a text, call, or letter to show someone appreciation
Expressing gratitude through prayer, meditation, or another daily spiritual ritual
Sharing highlights of the day around the dinner table
Mentally listing things they’re grateful for while stuck in a frustrating situation, such as a traffic jam or waiting room
Internal Struggles
Fearing that being grateful for the present means betraying someone’s memory
Expressing gratitude (because it’s the right thing to do) but feeling inauthentic and performative
Being grateful for one thing while harboring bitterness or resentment for another
Struggling to remember to be grateful, even when things are amazing
Challenges That Will Test the Character
Facing ongoing hardship (poverty, chronic illness, displacement, etc.) where gratitude feels insulting rather than helpful
Having companions who continually dwell on the negative
Being mocked or criticized for their gratitude practice by someone close to them
Basic Human Needs It Could Fill
Self-Actualization: Gratitude shifts a character from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. It fosters intentionality and aligns choices with what truly matters.
Physiological Needs: Gratitude practices are linked to better sleep, lower blood pressure, and improved immune function. In other words, they promote and protect health.
For help brainstorming your character’s responses to stress, see our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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