When a character suffers emotional pain, the brain’s response is to stop the discomfort, and often this results in a coping mechanism being deployed. Whether it’s an automatic response or a learned go-to strategy, a mechanism helps them cope with the stress of the moment or escape the hurt of it.
But if the character develops an unhealthy reliance on that mechanism, problems will arise. Long-term, certain coping behaviors will impair their connections with others, their ability to achieve goals and dreams, and their ability to handle life’s pressures.
At some point, they must have an Aha! moment where they realize their coping method is holding them back and seek other ways to deal with stress. Namely, they’ll have to adopt healthier mechanisms that enable them to manage difficulties and ultimately have a happier future.
To help you write your character’s growth (or regression) journey, we’ve created The Coping Mechanism Thesaurus, which contains a range of coping mechanisms. The one we’re highlighting today can help your character better manage painful emotions and stress. Use this partial entry to show readers the character is choosing more productive strategies that will build resilience.
Self-Care
Definition
Maintaining physical and mental health through rest, nutrition, and boundaries
What It May Look Like
Prioritizing getting enough sleep
Regularly exercising (walking, swimming, yoga, going to the gym, etc.)
Indulging in personal grooming (a bubble bath, manicure, etc.) beyond the basics
Having a regular massage
Limiting work hours to allow for better work-life balance
Engaging in a daily spiritual practice (devotions, prayer, meditation, etc.)
Internal Struggles
I’m allowed to rest.
Taking care of myself isn’t selfish.
I forgot how good it feels to relax and unwind.
Challenges That Will Test the Character
Facing pushback from people threatened by the character’s new priorities
Their efforts being dismissed or mocked (“Must be nice to have time for that”)
Basic Human Needs It Could Fill
Self-Actualization: Committing to self-care shows a character’s recognition that they’re worth investing in and helps them live more authentically and sustainably.
Esteem and Recognition: Following through on self-care increases self-respect and builds up the emotional resources to deal better with difficulties.
For help brainstorming your character’s responses to stress, see our master list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Need More Descriptive Help?
While this thesaurus is still being developed and expanded, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.
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