Writing and publishing a book starts a conversation with the world. And whether you set out to start that conversation intentionally, or not, that itch is probably the reason you feel called to write a book in the first place. For many writers, the thought of sharing your writing is a lot like the fear of public speaking. Your body and brain might convince you that there’s something dangerous about sharing your work, sending you into fight-or-flight mode, keeping you stuck working on revisions for months or even years.
The thing is, like public speaking, to the best of my knowledge, no writer has ever died from the aftereffects of accepting feedback. Yet our bodies prepare for the worst as though we’ve been put in mortal danger.
My personal relationship with feedback has evolved over the years.
As a new writer, I craved what I thought should be a simple, binary response from feedback partners.
Was my writing good enough to publish? All I really wanted was for them to check off yes or no. What I didn’t expect was their encouragement. “There’s something here! Keep working at it and you’ll get there.” It wasn’t a yes. It was probably a no. Except I didn’t know what to work at, or how.
It was around that time when I realized it wasn’t my ideas or my vision for the book that I needed feedback on. Those things I believed in so much I’d spent a year drafting already. What I was missing was the technical skills to bring my vision to life on the page. And that’s when I got to work.
During my blossoming writer days, I got hungry for knowledge.
Instead of looking for a binary answer, I searched high and low for teaching and coaching to hone my skills. I worked with a book coach and several editors, attended conferences, and took courses from the best writers I could find. That learning I now share with my own writing clients.
I applied everything I learned to my drafts and watched them get closer to my vision until my book was ready to publish.
Nowadays, I seek feedback at every stage of my writing process.
- I bounce ideas off real humans whenever I get the chance in the writing communities I belong to.
- I keep on top of the changing marketplace in my genre with my agent and coaching/author/publishing colleagues.
- I test out material on beta readers before sharing it more widely and ask them what their experience reading it was like.
In other words, I test out what I’ve written iteratively, to see what conversations my stories start with readers. I now embrace feedback instead of fear it.
But it can take a long time to build a healthy relationship with feedback (it took me a decade!), where you can treat feedback like a necessary partner on your journey instead of feeling like it’s a threat to your writing dreams. The faster you build this bridge, the better the conversation you’ll have with your readers when your book gets published.
Here are some steps you can take to get ready for feedback on your book and to get the most out of the feedback that you get.
- Be clear on your goals for your book. Are you planning to print off a handful of copies of your book for your grandkids, or are you hoping your book will be read by readers everywhere? Who do you want to read your book? Why are you writing this particular book at this particular moment in your life?
If you’re honest with yourself about your goals and share them with your feedback partner (whether a friend, a critique partner, a book coach, editor, or beta reader), you’ll get the most useful feedback. One of my most important jobs as a Book Coach and Developmental Editor is to make sure the writer’s final draft of their book matches their original goals. - Be honest about how much work you’re willing to put into revisions. The difference between a book getting a lukewarm reception from readers or becoming a smash hit is often how much work the writer is willing to put in to get it there. There’s no right answer here, but if I know the book is going out in short order regardless, my feedback will always be targeted with that in mind, versus the broader strokes you might be open to if your pub date is still a year out. Share your plan with your feedback partner to make sure you don’t get too much or too little feedback.
- Take your book as far as you can on your own before asking for feedback. That being said, you need to balance this with the urge to reach perfection before ever sharing your work. Don’t rely on editors or readers to point out things you already know need work in your book. That just wastes their time, and yours, because the feedback they give will include issues you’re already aware of.
- Be clear on expectations. Make your expectations clear with your feedback partners but also understand what they are prepared to give you, and how. Agree on when they will return your feedback (it can be very hard on your nervous system to wait, continually pressing refresh if you don’t know when their notes are coming). If you are coming from another industry, it will be shocking to learn that deadlines are not always adhered to in publishing. (Loose deadlines are common, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Many editors like me keep very clear deadlines so that you don’t have to stress!)
- Develop a partnership mentality. Share early, share often. Welcome all feedback as help and acknowledge that the human behind the feedback most likely wants to support your writing very much, although sometimes feedback in its written form can sound harsh. Try not to let your inner critic get carried away and get you down. I tell all the writers I work with to remember to take my feedback in my always positive, incredibly supportive voice. That doesn’t mean I don’t give them the straight goods if their writing isn’t ready to publish yet; it just means that everything I offer is to help them make their writing stronger, not to tear them down.
Most of the suggestions here will help you during the writing process, but getting feedback early and often will help you after you’ve published as well. Because your readers’ feedback when your first reviews roll in should never be a surprise.
If you’ve honed your writing skills so that your final draft matches the exact book that you envisioned? The conversation you start with the world when you publish your book will be the one you’re itching to have, and it’ll open doors you haven’t even thought of yet.
Ready to get feedback on your book, and want to get my experienced eyes on it? I’ve worked with more than 1000 writers to make their drafts match the vision they have and teach the exact skills you need to get it there. Take advantage of my Black Friday introductory book coaching session for $249 ($100 savings). Get all the details here.
Summary for Busy Writers: Sharing your writing with others can induce fear, but quality feedback helps you bring your vision to life on the page. You’ll get the best feedback by being clear about your goals, how much revision you’re willing to do, editing yourself first, having clear expectations, and developing a partnership mentality.
