Try this: Think about your writing or writing business as a partner.
Start by giving it a name. What would you call your writing (if you haven’t started selling yet) or writing business (if you are selling books)?
Mine is “Dolores,” because she’s demanding. (If your name is Dolores, my apologies!) During all my waking hours, she’s babbling on about what I need to do for my next book, my author platform, my website, and more. She’s a slave driver and never lets up enough to give me a break.
Once you have a name, it’s time to see what sort of partnership the two of you have.
Do that, and you can better understand what the problems are and what you might need to change so you feel more energized, motivated, and successful.
Let me give you some examples. I based them on well-known movies just for fun.
Five Writer/Writing Business Relationship Types
1. Pride and Prejudice: Too Sweetly Perfect!
You are like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, perfectly suited for one another. You have your strengths and your writing business has its strengths, and together you are the perfect combination. You feel motivated, excited, and eager for tomorrow, and if problems arise, you have faith that you’ll solve them together.
Key Characteristics:
- Strong partnership that regularly produces great products (books and related writing business items).
- Thriving relationship that gives both partners energy, motivating each to be at their best.
- Both sides give back—you to your writing business, and the writing business back to you (via positive feedback, reviews, income, and growth).
Couples Counseling: Keep doing what you’re doing and enjoy the ride! It may also be wise to establish some checkpoints to make sure you both continue to thrive.
2. Titanic: Sweet but Doomed Because One of You Is Dying for the Other
If you have a Titanic relationship, you know it, because one of you is dying. Maybe it’s the writer. Her books are doing well, but she is exhausted, burned out, and ready to quit. Or perhaps it’s the writing business. Subscribers are down, reviews aren’t good, money is near nonexistent, and it feels like a deep dark hole. The iceberg is looming, and the ship is headed right for it.
Key Characteristics:
- The partnership is unbalanced—one of you is giving too much and the other is taking too much without giving back.
- One of you is exhausted and running on fumes while the other keeps demanding: give give give!
- A sense of doom surrounds you, and you wonder if you are cut out for this writing thing.
Couples Counseling: Step back and assess. Which of you is giving too much? Usually, it’s the writer. You’re slaving away to the point of exhaustion, but your business isn’t giving back. You’re not getting the rewards you hoped for, whether that be money, positive feedback, recognition, or an expanding readership.
If you’d like to earn more money, stop doing anything that is not earning money and regroup. Educate yourself on how to earn money as a writer, then restart your efforts incorporating that learning.
If you’d like to grow your readership, stop everything you’re doing that’s not working. Educate yourself on how to do that, then start again.
The point is to clearly identify the issue so you can direct more of your time and energy toward those things that will bring you the rewards you crave.
3. Alien: You Started Out Curious but Now You Want to Run and Hide
Things were great in the beginning. You were writing and building your business and feeling wonderful. But then you submitted your book and were rejected, or you published your book to poor sales or lackluster reviews. You thought this partnership was going to be great, but now you’re having a hard time looking (Dolores) in the eye.
Key Characteristics:
- The partnership is on a tenuous footing. Things haven’t gone like you wanted them to and you’re thinking of getting out.
- You feel overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to figure out how to kill the monster that’s tearing everything up.
- You’ve read books and taken workshops, but self-doubt is consuming you. You’re not sure you’ll get out of this alive.
Couples Counseling: Take a deep breath and realize that every partnership goes through dark times. Failure is part of the deal. Try to relax, take a break, then try again. Few succeed their first time out—be compassionate with yourself, reconnect with “why” you’re writing, and believe in your talent and ability to improve.
4. Harry Potter: You Can Do Magic but There’s an Unknown Problem That Will Not Be Named
You love the writing, and people love your writing! Those who read your stories have nothing but wonderful things to say, and you know this is where you’re meant to be. Why then, aren’t your stories selling? Why can’t you grow your subscriber list? What demon is in the shadows obstructing your hero’s journey?
Key Characteristics:
- Some parts of the partnership feel magical—they keep you motivated and excited.
- But something is still not working right and you’re not sure what.
- Because you’re lacking some true markers of success (lots of readers, high sales numbers), you question whether you’re just deluding yourself that writing can create a viable future for you.
Couples Counseling: If you’re doing everything you should be doing—updating your website, creating an attractive freebie for your subscribers, getting yourself out there on social media and podcast interviews—and you’re still not reaching the goals you’ve set for yourself, reach out to a mentor. A fresh set of eyes can often see more clearly what needs to change to root out this unnamed demon!
5. ET: Everything Was Exciting but Then the Alien Went Home and Now You’re Bored
You got that three-book deal, or your series of romance novels are selling well. The reader feedback is good, the money is coming in, and the two of you are on your way! But there’s one big problem: you’re bored. What you’re doing no longer excites you. Your creativity waddled onto the spaceship and left. Your writing business partner wants you to keep it up because, um, success! But you don’t know if you can muster the motivation.
Key Characteristics:
- By all indications, the business is going well, but the writer is not excited about it anymore.
- The writer may feel guilt or remorse for her feelings—she should be happy for the success she’s experiencing.
- The writer is starting to see writing and everything related to it as a chore.
Couples Counseling: It’s time to go looking for another alien—or at least a way to make writing fun again. If you’re locked into a publishing contract, maybe you can work on something new on the side. If the business tasks are dragging you down, perhaps you could hire an assistant. No matter what, you have to find a way to infuse excitement back into this partnership or it’s likely to eventually dissolve.
What Story Describes Your Relationship?
I hope these examples gave you some ideas for how you might describe your writing business relationship. I’ve found that using your imagination to look at it creatively can often reveal new insights about how to do things better. The more fun you can have with it, the more ideas will come to mind.
Note: Colleen offers coaching on breaking through stuck spots and balancing writing with life. Get your FREE report: The Secret to Powerful Writing: Embracing Your Shadows.
Colleen M. Story is a novelist, freelance writer, writing coach, and speaker with over 20 years in the creative writing industry. In addition to writing several award-winning novels, Colleen’s series of popular success guides, Your Writing Matters, Writer Get Noticed! and Overwhelmed Writer Rescue, have all been recognized for their distinction.
Colleen offers personalized coaching plans tailored to meet your needs, and frequently serves as a workshop leader and motivational speaker, where she helps attendees remove mental and emotional blocks and tap into their unique creative powers. Find out more about our RWC team here and connect with Colleen below. Free chapters | Writing and Wellness
Mike Van Horn says
My writing business is like a company that has great production but lousy marketing. I write just about every day–two different genres, science fiction and business–and I produce high quality books. But my marketing efforts are atrocious.
MINDY ALYSE WEISS says
This is so creative and fun, Colleen.
I used to have trouble with my internal editor until I figured out her name, what she looked like, what she’d say to me…and what I wish I could say to her.
I know your post will help so many writers have a stronger writing/writing business relationship.
I believe my type is Harry Potter. I LOVE writing and revising. When manuscripts are submission ready, my agent and I totally believe in them and hope a magical yes will come our way soon. I’ve had editor requests for more, gone to acquisitions…but am still waiting for a book deal to come my way.
Colleen says
Yes, I’ve named my internal critic too, Mindy. It does help create some space between “us” and this critic, allowing us to do our work. Thanks for sharing your type! Sounds like there is some demon in the shadows…may be a rascal just in the way between you and your perfect publisher. Good luck zapping him! :O)
DV says
“Your creativity waddled onto the spaceship and left.” 🤣 Love it! Great, concise article with practical advice. Thanks, Colleen, and thanks as always to Becca and Angela for running this wonderful site. I always find nutritious food for thought here. 🍲
Colleen says
Ha ha. If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear which movie/story you think fits your relationship! :O)
DV says
Well, I’m still very much in the “aspiring” part of the aspiring author journey. I’ve got a completed manuscript lying in a drawer that will probably never see the light of day. And I’m mid-way through a second one, but it’s slow going, so at this point I think my relationship type would be: “Failure to Launch.” 😅
Colleen says
Ha ha. Thanks, Becca! I use this exercise in my workshops and it really helps writers see where the problems are.
BECCA PUGLISI says
Colleen, I love the way your brain works :). It’s such an interesting idea, that we have a relationship with our own writing business. Looking at it that way, it’s easier to see where dysfunction might be creeping in and what to do about it.